Therapists
by LC1986
Summary: Rory sat in the office reception area nervously fidgeting and shaking her leg. She was debating whether or not to get up and bolt out the door, but she knew this was the right thing to do.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hi, there. I thought I'd try something a little different than other stories I've written. You'll probably see some similarities, but will overall be very different. Please keep in mind that several characters may seem out of character, especially Rory. Don't hate me. **

Rory sat in the office reception area nervously fidgeting and shaking her leg. She was debating whether or not to get up and bolt out the door, but she knew this was the right thing to do.

"Rory Gilmore?" A tall slender woman in her fifties called out, causing Rory to jump slightly before standing up and walking toward her. The woman opened an office door and guided Rory in before shutting the door and introducing herself. "Hi. I'm Meg Alder."She said before shaking hands with Rory. Rory looked around the room and tried to figure out where she should sit while nervously biting her lip.

"Rory, you can sit anywhere you like. The couch, the chair, behind the desk even if that makes you feel more comfortable. It's all up to you." Meg said.

"Ok, the couch will be fine. Sorry, I'm new to all this. I've never been to a therapist's office before so I'm a little nervous." Rory apologized before walking over to the couch and sitting down.

"I understand Rory, but I want to assure you that there is nothing to be nervous about. I'm not here to judge you in any way. I'm here to listen." Meg said while sitting in a chair opposite of the couch. Rory nodded and took a deep breath. "Why don't you begin with what brought you here today." Meg said while picking up a pad of paper and pen from the coffee table.

"Well, my best friend Julia said she'd come to your office a few years ago and you helped her sort some stuff out, so she recommended you." Rory said.

"Good. It's always nice to have good referrals." Meg smiled. "That still doesn't really answer the question though."

Rory nodded. "Well Meg, is it ok that I call you 'Meg'?"

"Absolutely."

"Ok, well Meg, I guess I came here because I need some help. I need some help sorting out my life right now." Rory said hesitantly. "I'm twenty-eight years old and my life is a complete mess."

"Why don't you explain that a bit more. What makes you feel like it's a mess?" Meg said encouragingly.

"Hhmm. Well, let's see, I'm twenty-eight living in New York city working in a used bookstore during the week and as a waitress in a coffee shop on the weekends. I barely make enough money to support myself and my Son. My Son is the only good thing in my life. He's nine years old and his name is Ryan." Rory said while digging through her purse for her wallet. She pulled it out and took a recent picture of Ryan out and handed it to Meg.

"He's a cute kid." Meg said while looking at the picture. Ryan stood in front of his school on what appeared to be the first day with a backpack and lunch box. He was wearing jeans and a brown cable knit sweater with a blue collared shirt. He looked a little short for his age and had bright blue eyes and very dark brown hair, almost black. Ryan had a smirk on his face that caused Meg to smile as she looked at the picture. "Although by the smirk on his face I'd say he might be a handful at times." Meg joked while handing the picture back to Rory.

Rory put the picture away while agreeing with Meg. "He can be. He gets that trait from his father."

"What don't you tell me about Ryan's father?" Meg suggested.

"That may take a while." Rory said. "Ryan's father isn't in the picture anymore. Last I heard, he was living in Philadelphia trying to get his act together again. Jess, that's Ryan's father's name, and I have a complicated history. I first met him when we were both in high school. His mom sent him to live with his uncle, who lived in Stars Hollow, a small town in Connecticut. Jess and I eventually dated, but it was short lived. His uncle did the best he could, but Jess wasn't really wanting to change his life, so he ran away after things didn't really work out. I graduated high school and went to Yale. At the end of my freshman year, Jess came back and asked me to run away with him to New York. It was completely out of the blue, but I thought I still loved him, so I went with him. Of course, my Mom completely freaked out and demanded that I come back immediately. I fought her on it all summer long which resulted in us speaking more infrequently until we finally stopped talking altogether by the time school was supposed to start." Rory explained.

"Are you and your Mother speaking now?" Meg asked.

"No." Rory answered.

"How do you feel about that?"

"Not good." Rory said honestly. "I don't know that she really wants to talk to me. We didn't leave things on good terms and I still think she's incredibly disappointed with me." Rory looked down at her shoes before quietly admitting, "You know, my Mom doesn't even know about Ryan. She has a nine year old grandson and she has no idea. I feel bad about that, but I don't think I could stand the judgment."

"Why would she judge you for having a child?" Meg asked.

Rory looked up and smiled softly. "It would be like history repeating itself. My Mom had me when she was sixteen years old." Rory clarified. "She always wanted me to have everything she didn't and preached about not having children at a young age. She'd also be very upset with Ryan's father not being a part of his life just like my father wasn't a part of mine. She wanted everything to be different for me, so I just feel like she'd be really disappointed with me."

"Did you know you were pregnant when you stopped talking with your Mom?"

"No. We stopped talking around the beginning of September. I turned nineteen in October and Ryan was born the next year in August. I wasn't planning on getting pregnant, but it happened. Jess and I were living in a cheap crappy apartment in a bad part of town and we didn't really have any money. I don't even remember how we made it work. We were so young and stupid." Rory said while shaking her head.

"So, what happened? How did you get from there to here?" Meg said.

"Jess worked and tried to support us, but he seemed to be growing more and more distant. I kept questioning him on what was bothering him, but he just got mad and more irritable. I eventually found out that he'd started using drugs again, which led to more arguing between us. When Ryan was almost one Jess left." Rory said sadly. "I got a letter from him about six months later. He said he was trying to get his life together and had started working at a small book publishing company in Philadelphia. He gave me an address and phone number to contact him, but I never did. I was still pretty upset with Jess at the time, so I just put the letter away and haven't looked at it since. I want Ryan to know his Dad, but I don't know how ok I am with it. If Jess really does have his life together, I'd be willing to give him a chance with Ryan, but he has to be committed to being a permanent part of Ryan's life. I can't do the in and out thing."

"You want to get back together with Ryan's father?"

"No. Not at all. I just want to make sure he's going to be around for Ryan." Rory clarified. "I just want everything to be ok for Ryan. I work so many hours so he can have a good life, but I feel so guilty about leaving him with friends all the time. I wish I could spend more time with him, but it's just not a possibility right now."

"Ok. Is that everything that you wanted to talk about? Is there anything else that's stressing you out or bothering you?" Meg asked politely.

"It's just everything. Nothing is turning out like I planned. I didn't ask for this life." Rory admitted. "I just wish everything was different and I could go back and make different decisions."

"I hate to disappoint you Rory, but I don't have a time machine." Meg joked.

"I know." Rory responded. "I also know that if I want to change my life I have to take the first step. That's the part that I'm having trouble with. I pick up the phone at least once a week to call my Mom, but I can't do it. I want Ryan to know his family. I don't want to raise him in the city. What I really want is to move back to Stars Hollow and raise Ryan there. The problem is that I can't seem to do it."

"Contacting your Mother after nine years of silence and the father of your child after eight is a challenge. Have you thought about what the first step would be and when you would make it?"

"I've picked up the phone once a week for the last five years to call my Mom." Rory said plainly. "Jess is a bit more complicated. I don't think I'll be able to talk to him on the phone without screaming, so a letter might be better option there."

"Yes that would be better." Meg agreed. "Unfortunately, we're running out of time in our session. We've talked about lots of things today. I have something I'd like you to do before we meet again. I'd like you to make a list of your feelings; one list for your Mother and one for Jess. Just keep a small note pad with you and write things down as they come up. We'll go over it next week and discuss things further."

"Ok. I'll see you next week." Rory said before standing up and shaking Meg's hand. She excused herself from the office and quickly exited the building.

Rory walked out of the building Meg's office was in and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her purse. She quickly took one out of the package, put the pack back in her purse, and lit the cigarette. She silently cursed herself as she exhaled. Ryan kept asking her to quit, but she hadn't been able to take the first step yet.

Rory walked quickly toward the nearest subway stop and tried to slow her brain down. Her lack of action to change her life had been a point of frustration for her for years and it had finally come to a head. Besides the smoking habit, Rory had recently taken to drinking more frequently. She told herself that she was fine and never let things get out of control in front of Ryan, but she had been too far gone to pick him up from her best friend Julia's house a few times. Julia was kind enough to look after Ryan several times a week, but she drew the line at watching Rory throw her life away. So, Julia confronted her one day and suggested she go see Meg Alder for some counseling. If it wasn't for Ryan, Rory wouldn't have listened to Julia and continued to spiral out of control. However, Rory couldn't bear to hurt Ryan anymore, so she vowed to fix things and do what was best for Ryan even if she wasn't comfortable with the idea.

About twenty minutes later Rory walked to her apartment door and opened the door to find Ryan sitting at the table working on his homework while Julia read a book on the couch. "Hi guys." Rory said as she closed the door.

"Hi Mom." Ryan said while continuing to work on his homework.

"Hey Rory." Julia said and stood up to give Rory a hug. "How did it go?" She asked quietly.

"I think it was good. I did the majority of the talking." Rory said. "Are you sure this is going to be helpful?"

"It's as helpful as you let it be." Julia said. "I hate to cut this short, but I need to get going. See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"Bye Ryan." Julia said before leaving as he waved to her.

"So how was your day bud?" Rory asked while walking over to the table to examine Ryan's homework.

"School was boring as usual. What are we having for dinner?" Ryan asked.

"Pizza or Pasta?"

"Pizza." Ryan answered quickly.

"Ok, I'll call it in."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I really appreciate thoughts/feedback. **

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"Nice to see you again Rory." Meg said as Rory entered her office.

"Hi Meg." Rory greeted her before taking a seat on the couch. She pulled a notebook out of her purse and handed it to Meg. "Here's my homework." She joked.

Meg smiled at the joke and began to look through the pages of notes Rory had written. "How did this project make you feel?"

"I think you're looking at a whole lot of my feelings right there on those pages."

"Fair enough." Meg noted. "Is there anything you would like to share about this process or discuss?"

"After reading that list and making a pro/con list, which is the last three pages of that notepad, it seems like it might be time to reach out to my Mom. I don't think I can deal with both my Mom and Jess, so Jess is going to have to wait a little while." Rory said.

"Explain more about reaching out to your Mom. What does that look like?"

"I'm not really sure. Part of me wants to just show up in Stars Hollow and see her in person. Another part wants to call her on the phone. And yet another part of me wants to write her a letter. What do you think I should do?" Rory asked.

"It's not really about me. What feels right to you?" Meg countered.

"Neither of them." Rory admitted. "I just feel so torn and a little scared. I think this would be so much easier if I just left things the way they are. I'll move to a small town somewhere upstate and things will be fine."

"Do you think you'd be happy with that decision?" Meg prodded.

"Probably not. I'd probably end up regretting it."

"Which is exactly why you're here. I can't tell you what is right for you to do, but I think you'll always wonder what would have happened if you'd have contacted your Mom." Meg said.

"I know I'll regret it."

"Sounds like you've made up your mind then."

"Yeah, now I just have to figure out a way to do this." Rory thought. "Would it be completely crazy if I just showed up with Ryan on my Mom's doorstep?"

"Completely crazy? No. Shocking and unexpected, probably." Meg answered.

"My Mom isn't going to be the only one a little unnerved. It's going to be really hard for me to go and face her."

"Of course. It's been a long time and you obviously have a lot of feelings about this." Meg added.

"Maybe I should just wait until Mom makes the first move." Rory thought out loud.

"You could." Meg agreed. "Does your Mom know how to contact you?"

"I seriously doubt it. I've moved about five or six times in the last eight years and changed my phone number two or three times. I'm pretty sure she'd have a hard time finding me." Rory said. "I'm not even sure she wants to see me again."

"Is that part of your fear in reaching out to her?" Meg asked.

"You're good." Rory joked which made Meg smile. "What if she slams the door in my face? I don't know if I could take it if she did that."

"I keep hearing you talk about fear." Meg noted. "You're afraid of your Mom's reaction either way."

"Pretty much." Rory agreed.

"That brings us back to where we just were. If you stay paralyzed by this fear, you'll always wonder what would have happened." Meg said.

"Yeah I guess so."

"I'd like you to consider taking the first step in contacting your Mom. This week I want you to keep a notepad just like you did last week. Write down your thoughts and your ideas about how to contact your Mom. Think about it and see what feels right to you, but don't act on it yet. I'd like us to discuss it further before you act. Ok?" Meg instructed.

"Ok. See you next week." Rory said before saying goodbye to Meg and leaving the office.

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Rory missed her next counseling appointment with Meg. Julia came over to Rory's apartment to be there when Ryan came home after school. Instead, she found Rory passed out on the couch with several bottles of alcohol on the coffee table. Julia shook her head and began cleaning up the mess so Ryan wouldn't see it. She was getting really tired of seeing her friend like that lately. She knew it was affecting Ryan, but tried her best to shield him from it.

"Rory?" Julia said after the mess had been cleaned up. Rory didn't move, but groaned in response. "Damn it Rory. Pull yourself together. You can't do this." Julia raised her voice and practically yelled at Rory.

"Julia?" Rory groaned again.

"Get your ass off the couch Rory. Ryan is going to be home any minute." Julia yelled.

"Go away Julia. I have a headache."

"Rory I'm not going to let you do this. If you want to piss your life away that's your choice. I'm not going to let you drag Ryan down with you." Julia insisted.

"Go away." Rory said as she sat up on the couch. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine Rory. You're drunk! I can't leave you alone with Ryan tonight."

"You can't tell me what to do with my kid." Rory slurred.

"Sorry, but you're not fit to take care of him tonight." Julia said calmly.

"You have no idea Julia. You have no idea how hard it is."

"You're right. I'm not a parent so I don't know what it's like. However, I do know what it's like to grow up with an alcoholic parent. Its crap Rory and I can't just stand by and watch you do that to Ryan." Julia said.

"I'm not an alcoholic." Rory insisted as she began to stumble toward her bedroom.

"No, but you're certainly working hard at becoming one. Go sleep it off. I'll take care of your son for the night. We'll discuss this in the morning." Julia said as Rory slammed her bedroom door.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I really appreciate your feedback. Yes, Rory is kind of a mess in this story. I wanted to write something where Rory isn't perfect and has to figure her life out. Hopefully you'll like this story and how it all plays out. Thanks for reading!**

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About a month later, Julia finally had enough of Rory's irresponsibility. She knew Ryan couldn't continue to be subjected to his mother's behavior. She also knew that she couldn't take care of Ryan permanently and neither could Rory. Julia tried everything in her power, but nothing seemed to be working. So, she finally realized there was only one option left; calling Rory's mom. Julia didn't know anything about Rory's Mom or why their relationship was so strained, but calling her was worth a shot in Julia's mind.

When Rory was supposedly at work one day, Julia dug around Rory's apartment and found an old address book that contained a phone number for Lorelai Gilmore. Julia wasn't even sure if it was Rory's Mom, but it was the only Gilmore in the book, so she figured it had to be her. Julia figured that Lorelai probably worked during the day, so she waited until the weekend to make the call. She was going to threaten Rory before actually resorting to calling her Mom, but Rory didn't come home from work Friday night. Julia stayed overnight with Ryan until Rory finally stumbled home late Saturday morning. After Rory wandered into her room, Ryan went across the street to hang out with a friend and Julia picked up the phone. She stared at it for a few moments before taking a deep breath and quickly dialing Lorelai's number.

"Hello?" Lorelai answered quickly.

"Hi. Is this Lorelai Gilmore?" Julia asked nervously.

"Yes it is. Who is this?"

"My name is Julia. Julia Stevens." Julia answered.

"Ok Julia Stevens, what can I do for you?"

"um, well I'm actually calling about your daughter; Rory Gilmore."

"Rory?" Lorelai whispered. "oh God, is she ok?"

"Well sort of." Julia began. "I'm a friend of hers and I'm calling you because Rory needs some help."

"Where is she?" Lorelai said with a hint of panic in her voice.

"New York City." Julia responded. "I'm sorry for calling you like this, but I've done as much as I can to help Rory and you're my last resort. She's spiraling out of control and I can't seem to stop her. If it was just Rory I wouldn't be so desperate, but I don't want Ryan to get dragged down into Rory's mess."

"Who's Ryan?"

"Rory's son."

"Son?" Lorelai said in disbelief.

"Yeah. You didn't know?" Julia asked. She didn't realize that Rory and her Mom hadn't talked in that long. Julia began to think that her call was a mistake as the silence on the other end continued.

"Give me her address and I'll be right there." Lorelai finally said.

Julia complied with Lorelai's request and hung up the phone after quickly finishing the conversation. Julia hoped she'd just made the right decision by calling Rory's Mom, but she was beginning to have a few doubts.

A few hours later, Julia quickly walked to the front door of Rory's apartment as the doorbell rang. Julia opened the door to find a woman with dark brown hair and bright blue eyes nervously fidgeting as a scruffy looking man wearing a backwards baseball cap stood behind her.

"Julia?" The woman asked.

"Yes."

"I'm Lorelai."

"Oh! Lorelai, please come in." Julia said as she moved out of the doorway. Lorelai nodded and walked in with the man on her heels looking around the living room of the apartment.

"Julia, this is my husband, Luke Danes." Lorelai said.

"Hi Luke." Julia said as she shook his hand. "I'm sorry we're meeting under such lousy circumstances."

"Yeah." Luke nodded and continued to look around the apartment.

"So, where's Rory?" Lorelai asked.

"She's in her room." Julia said before holding her hand up to stop Luke and Lorelai from leaving the room. "I know I didn't explain a lot on the phone, but I didn't know how to explain it all. Rory's been having some problems lately. I've seen her go downhill pretty quickly over the last year and I didn't know what else to do. I'm sorry to drag you both into this mess, but I couldn't stand to watch it anymore."

"What kind of problems?" Luke questioned.

"Alcohol." Julia stated and Luke nodded while Lorelai shook her head.

"Which room is hers?" Lorelai asked while pointing down the hallway.

"The one at the end." Julia answered.

Lorelai and Luke each nodded and slowly walked down the hallway until they came to the closed door of Rory's room. Luke put his hand on Lorelai's shoulder as she turned the door knob and slowly pushed the door open. Lorelai opened the door about halfway before it was stopped by a large pile of clothes. Luke gave the door a good shove with his arm from behind her until they were both able to get into Rory's room. They both looked around at the clutter and clothes scattered around the room until their eyes landed on the bed. Rory lay facing away from them in a pile of pillows and blankets snoring softly. Luke and Lorelai looked at each other and then back at Rory before Lorelai slowly crept to the other side of the bed and knelt down on the floor next to the bed. She reached out and brushed Rory's long brown hair out of her face and fought back tears as she looked at her daughter.

"Rory" Lorelai whispered. "Rory" She repeated after there was no response. "Rory" She said again while reaching out and touching her arm.

Rory shifted and groaned while trying to burrow further into the pile of bedding. "Go away" She groaned.

"Rory" Lorelai said louder. "Rory wake up."

Rory finally responded by turning her head and opening her eyes. "Mom?" She said while opening her bloodshot eyes a little more.

Lorelai smiled softly and sat next to Rory on the bed with her back to Luke. "Hi" Lorelai said softly.

Rory frowned at Lorelai and shook her head. "Go away." She said firmly.

Lorelai sat back in shock at the sternness of Rory's words but soon leaned forward and touched Rory's arm. "Rory let me help you." She said quietly.

"Don't touch me." Rory spat at her mother. "Get the hell away from me! Get out!" Rory boomed before slumping back into the bedding.

Lorelai stiffened and stood up before she turned to look at Luke with tears in her eyes. He walked forward to hug her, but Lorelai pushed him aside and walked out of the bedroom and back to the living room. Luke followed her and stopped her before she reached the front door.

"Lorelai wait." Luke said as he grabbed her wrist.

"She doesn't want me here Luke. Let's just go." Lorelai said while wiping tears out of her eyes. Luke pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back as she fought back sobs.

Julia walked out of the kitchen and sighed when she saw the scene. She quickly walked down the hallway and into Rory's room. She pulled back the covers on the bed and pushed Rory onto her back. "Rory get up now."

"Go away Julia."

"Not until you get your ass out of that bed." Julia insisted.

"Fine. I'll be in the living room in two minutes." Rory said while starting to roll out of bed.

Julia rolled her eyes and walked back into the living room to find Luke and Lorelai sitting on the couch. "Sorry about her. She's coming off a long night out again. She'll be out in a few minutes." She said before disappearing into the kitchen.

Rory sauntered into the living room a few minutes later wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants. She plopped down into a chair opposite the couch and crossed her arms over her chest while looking down at the floor.

Lorelai took a deep breath as she looked at her daughter. She'd expected Rory to be older, but she couldn't believe just how much older Rory looked or how long her hair was. It was almost halfway down her back from what Lorelai could tell and it was dull and dried out looking. Lorelai felt incredibly sad as she looked at Rory. It seemed that Rory was a shell of her former self.

"Here, drink this." Julia said as she walked into the room with a glass of water for Rory. Rory took it and held it in her lap while continuing to look down.

Everyone sat in silence and occasionally looked at one another while attempting to strike up a conversation. Everyone jumped slightly when the front door opened suddenly and a little boy entered. He looked like he was in a good mood, but stopped in his tracks when he saw his Mom, Julia, and two strangers with very serious looks on their faces.

"Is everything ok?" Ryan said while taking his jacket off and putting it on the coat rack near the front door.

"Ryan, can I talk to you in your room for a minute?" Julia said while standing up and walking Ryan to his room.

"Ryan?" Lorelai questioned after he had left the room.

"Yeah, he's my son." Rory said quietly.

"And Jess'?" Luke questioned. "He looks a lot like Jess and he's the right age to be Jess'."

"Yes, Jess is his father." Rory confirmed.

"Where is Jess?" Luke asked hesitantly.

"Not really sure." Rory said shortly. "He took off years ago."

"Took off?" Luke said with anger in his voice. "You mean he just left you and his child?"

"Yeah. He left about eight years ago. Last I heard he was living in Philadelphia. You're his uncle. Don't you keep track of him?" Rory spat out.

"No. If I did he would be here taking care of you."

"I don't need anyone to take care of me." Rory said.

Lorelai quickly touched Luke's arm to stop the escalating argument. "Rory, we're just here because we love you." Lorelai said quickly.

"Well, you don't need to be here." Rory said. "I've survived on my own so far, so I think I'll be ok from here on out." Rory spat out before getting up and walking back to her room and shutting the door.

Lorelai hung her head Luke rubbed her back. "This is such a mess." Lorelai said. "I can't believe I let this happen Luke."

"It's not your fault Lorelai. Rory's an adult and has made her own choices to get to this point. You can't blame yourself."

"But I do blame myself. I'm her mother and I'm supposed to keep her from doing this stuff and ruining her life." Lorelai said.

"Excuse me." Julia said as she entered the room with Ryan standing behind her. Lorelai and Luke quickly sat up straight on the couch and looked at Ryan. "I've just had a chat with Ryan and he'd like to meet you." She said before gently pushing Ryan toward Luke and Lorelai.

"Hi" Ryan said quietly while jamming his hands in his pockets. "I'm Ryan."

"Hi Ryan." Lorelai said quickly while smiling softly at him. "I'm Lorelai, your Grandma. Man that sounds weird." She said out loud as Ryan smirked at her. "You can call me whatever you want. Grandma or Lorelai; either works for me. This is my husband Luke Danes. He's your Mom's step-dad, so I'm not really sure what that makes him to you, but you can call him Luke or Grandpa if you'd like."

"Hi Ryan." Luke said and extended his hand to the boy.

"Nice to meet you." Ryan said while shaking his hand. He quickly turned to Lorelai and reached out to hug her. She smiled as she wrapped her arms around Ryan and hugged him. "You wanna see my room?" Ryan asked after Lorelai released him.

"Sure." Lorelai said and followed Ryan into his room. Luke followed and stood in the doorway as Ryan gave Lorelai a tour. She listened intently to everything Ryan was saying, but still couldn't fully grasp the fact that she had a Grandson. Lorelai could clearly see that he was Jess' son, but his mannerisms and personality seemed to be all Rory. Lorelai also noticed how intelligent Ryan was and the hint of pride in his voice as he talked about his Mother.

"Look." Ryan said as he picked up a framed photograph of himself and Rory. "This is last summer when we went to the beach for a couple days."

"Looks like you both had a lot of fun." Lorelai smiled as she looked at the picture of Ryan and Rory standing on the beach looking very happy.

"She wasn't always like this." Ryan said and looked down at the floor.

"What do you mean?" Lorelai asked and gently set the framed picture down on Ryan's desk.

"My Mom. She's been having a hard time lately. She's sick a lot." Ryan explained quietly. "She hasn't always been that way. She's a good Mom."

"Ryan, we're just here to help." Lorelai sighed. "I would have come sooner, but I didn't know what was going on."

"What are you going to help with?"

"I don't know." Lorelai said honestly. "I don't know what I can do to help."

"It's ok." Ryan shrugged. "I don't know how to help either."

Ryan's words cut into Lorelai's heart with unexpected sharpness. Unsure of how to respond, she stepped closer to Ryan and wrapped her arms around the boy. "We'll figure something out, Ryan." She sighed and squeezed him. _I don't know what to do, but for Ryan's sake we'll just have to figure it out._ Lorelai thought to herself.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews! Just to explain a little…yes, there will be more details about how the characters arrived at their present states. All will be revealed in due time…**

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"I'm exhausted" Lorelai sighed as she dropped her purse and sank onto the hotel bed.

"You have good reason to be." Luke nodded and shut the hotel room door before going over to the bed and pulling the blankets back. He quickly removed Lorelai's shoes and coat and helped her crawl under the covers. He removed his own shoes, jeans, flannel shirt, and baseball hat before joining his wife under the covers. He quickly snuggled up with her and breathed a sigh of relief.

"What are we going to do, Luke?" Lorelai whispered.

"I don't really know, but we need to figure something out." Luke agreed. "We just need to make Rory realize the error of her ways and get her into rehab or something."

"I get the feeling she doesn't really want to change." Lorelai frowned.

"Well, she has a kid, so she needs to change."

"I still can't believe Rory has a kid." Lorelai sighed. "How does she have a kid!"

"Jess is how." Luke blurted out. "I'm going to kill him, by the way."

"My feelings exactly." Lorelai agreed. "My precious baby girl had a kid with Jess. I can't believe he had the nerve to touch her. What a guy." Lorelai sighed.

Luke didn't say anything, but hugged Lorelai tighter as her words ran through his head.

"Sorry, I didn't really mean that. I know he's your nephew and you love him. I shouldn't have said that." Lorelai apologized.

"Oh, no need to apologize. I feel the same way." Luke insisted. "I'm going to make sure he feels a lot of pain for his actions, but first we need to help Rory."

"Ah back to the major dilemma." Lorelai sighed. "Let's just make sure Ryan is ok and then we'll find a way to get Rory into rehab or something."

"Sounds like a good start." Luke nodded. "You have a Grandson; you're a Grandma."

"You just realized that?" Lorelai smirked and turned to face him.

"It just sunk in." Luke said. "I'm married to a Grandma?"

"Hey! Don't say it like that; it makes me sound really old."

"A really hot young Grandma." Luke corrected himself and smirked.

"Technically, I think you're a Grandpa. The relationship may be a bit complicated, but I'm not letting you get off the hook that easily. If I'm a Grandma, you're a Grandpa." Lorelai teased.

"Let's not jump to any conclusions." Luke said.

"Whatever, Grandpa." Lorelai teased before becoming much more serious. "Why do I get the feeling there is more to this whole thing?"

"What do you mean?" Luke wondered.

"I just feel like there is more to this than Rory having a kid and drinking too much." Lorelai explained. "It's like there has to be something else; something deeper. Maybe I'm being a pessimist or it's just mother's intuition or something. I don't know…I just have a feeling. I…worry."

Luke nodded and kissed her forehead. "You love Rory a lot and you want the best for her. Of course you worry about her. I don't know that there is anything else going on, but if there is we'll deal with it. You're so brave and strong. We'll get through this. Rory will be fine. We'll do whatever it takes to help her. We just met Ryan, but he'll be fine. I can see the strength and resilience in his eyes. He'll be ok."

"I hope so; I really do. I'm scared to think about what his life has been like. I'm scared that it's been really rough and there hasn't been anyone to protect him and let him be a kid. I'm scared that his childhood has been robbed from him. I gave up everything so Rory could grow up differently than I did. I'm so sad at the thought that Ryan didn't get that chance. I want so badly to give him the world, but I feel like there is this dark cloud hanging over it all."

Luke allowed her to take a deep breath before kissing her and putting his fingers over her mouth. "Lorelai, I love that you love Ryan so much already, but don't worry so much just yet. We're here now and we'll see to it that he has a proper childhood. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure he has every opportunity possible."

"Thank you." Lorelai nodded. "Thank you for coming with me today."

"You're welcome." Luke nodded. "Now we just have to get up tomorrow and work hard to fix everything."

"Yeah." Lorelai sighed. "Luke, did you think it would be like this?"

"What do mean?"

"I was just thinking about seeing Rory again." Lorelai explained. "I've always thought about what it would be like to see Rory again. I never thought it would be like this. You know about all the dreams I've had about seeing Rory. I always thought she was just angry with me and would eventually call me or show up on our door step. I never imagined she'd be in such a tough spot."

"I know." Luke nodded. "We've discussed it many times, but the discussion never revolved around Rory being in trouble. We didn't know if she would be married with a family or single, but we always assumed she would initiate some sort of reconciliation."

"Yeah, but that's not the case. Rory is in deep shit and she either can't see it or just flat out doesn't want our help."

"She needs help, Lorelai. Whether she wants it or not, she needs our help." Luke insisted. "We can't let Rory do this to herself and especially not to Ryan. I saw what happened to Jess growing up with Liz. I failed to help Jess, but I'm not going to let the same things happen to Ryan. We will fix this." Luke said firmly.

Lorelai smiled softly before kissing Luke. "I love you so much and I'm so grateful that you love Rory and want to help her. We don't know Ryan very well yet, but I already love him and I can tell that you do too. Thank you."

"Love you too." Luke responded before snuggling against Lorelai again. "Everything will be better tomorrow." He whispered in her ear as they both began to drift off to sleep.

XXXXX

The next morning Lorelai frowned as she finished getting ready in the hotel bathroom. "Luke, are you ready to go?" She asked and leaned out of the doorway.

"Yeah." Luke answered and turned the TV off. "Everything ok?" He asked and walked to the bathroom.

"I'm so pissed at all of this." Lorelai explained. "Yesterday I was in shock and had a hard time believing what was happening. Today I'm so pissed at Rory. She's throwing her life away and dragging Ryan along with her. And where the hell is Jess?"

"I know." Luke huffed. "This isn't Rory and Jess isn't the type to just leave a kid. I swear this is not the Rory or Jess we both knew and loved."

"I knew this would happen, Luke. The second Rory ran to New York with that little punk I knew it would end badly. She'd end up broken and it would be all his fault! The worst part is that they brought a child into all of this. I wanted more for Rory than I had!"

"So do I!" Luke agreed defensively. "You know how much I love Rory, but you can't just blame everything on Jess. Rory had a hand in this too."

"I'm well aware of that." Lorelai sighed. "I'm sorry…I know you love Jess. This is just so…unbelievably frustrating and enraging."

"I know." Luke agreed. "I'm just as equally frustrated."

"What are we going to do about it?"

"I'm not really sure yet, but we can start by going back to Rory's place and trying to talk to her."

"I'm not sure how much good it will do, but maybe we can get some sort of explanation out of her. At the very least maybe we can have more of a conversation with her." Lorelai sighed.

XXXXX

Luke and Lorelai arrived at Rory apartment and were greeted by Ryan.

"Hey Ryan." Lorelai smiled and hugged him before entering the apartment.

"Hi"

"Where's your Mom?" Luke asked and walked into the living room.

"She's at work." Ryan explained casually and shrugged a shoulder.

"You're here by yourself?" Lorelai frowned.

"Yeah, but the lady who lives across the hallway checks on me a couple times until Mom gets back."

"How long is she going to be gone for?" Luke frowned.

"uh, probably until dinner time. She works at the coffee shop down the street until two o'clock and then at the book store for a couple of hours."

"Oh, well, would it be ok if your Grandma and I stayed here with you?" Luke asked.

"Sure."

"Actually, how about if you guys hang out and I'll go check out the coffee shop. I'd like to talk to your Mom anyway. Ryan, could you point me in the right direction?"

"Ok, it's just down on Cherry street; three blocks away. Go back downstairs and take a left out of the building."

"Thanks Ryan." Lorelai smiled. "Luke, I have my cell on if you need anything."

"Ok, we'll be fine." Luke nodded as she left the apartment.

XXXXX

Lorelai walked quickly down the sidewalk in search of the coffee shop Rory was supposedly working at. She was furious that her daughter just left Ryan at home all by himself. He was too young to be left alone all day long while Rory did who knows what.

Lorelai was so deep in thought that she practically marched right by the coffee shop and had to come to an abrupt halt at the door. She took a deep breath and braced herself as she pushed open the door and looked around.

The coffee shop wasn't much, but it looked cozy and warm. As Lorelai sat at a table she picked up a menu and noticed it was more of a restaurant than just a coffee shop.

"Hi..what can I-" Rory said as she walked over to the table and stopped as Lorelai looked up at her. "What are you doing here?" She frowned.

"Ordering some coffee." Lorelai said bluntly. "Is it any good?"

"Would I work at a place with bad coffee?" Rory said rudely.

"Maybe. I'm not so sure that I really know you anymore. Maybe your coffee tastes went bad."

"Mom, please. Let's not do this here."

"Sorry, but that's not an option. I went to your apartment, but Ryan's there alone today. He said you would be out working all day." Lorelai informed her. "What a great thing for a little boy to do all day long on a Saturday; sit at home by himself."

"Our next door neighbor keeps an eye on him." Rory said defensively. "I have to work to support us and I can't afford child care. I'm doing the best I can."

"No, you're doing what's most convenient for yourself."

"Now hold on just a minute. You have no right to just come in here and tell me what to do. This is my life and I make the decisions." Rory huffed.

"Yes, but you have to do what's best for your child!" Lorelai said in frustration as her voice grew louder.

Rory looked around and noticed another waitress frowning so she shook her head at Lorelai and went to retrieve her coffee. "Any food with this?" She asked while setting the cup on the table. "Mom, this is where I work; please don't make a scene."

"Only if you agree to talk about this after you're done with work. We absolutely need to have a discussion, Rory."

"Fine." Rory agreed and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'll see you back at the apartment around six. We'll talk after dinner."

"Ok, that will work." Lorelai nodded and reached down to grab her purse. She threw a five dollar bill on the table and drank a few sips of the coffee as Rory watched. "Not too bad, but not that great either." Lorelai shrugged and stood up. "See you later." She said before walking away from Rory and out of the coffee shop.

XXXXX

Luke fidgeted nervously with the loose fibers of the couch cushion he was sitting on as he tried to think of something to say to Ryan. They'd spent half a day together, mostly just watching TV, without saying a whole lot to each other.

"So….Ryan." Luke began slowly. "We don't know a whole lot about each other, but I think we should. Maybe I should start by telling you a little about myself."

Ryan didn't say anything, but simply nodded in response as he looked at Luke.

"I guess I can just give you some general background info. I grew up in a small town in Connecticut called Stars Hollow. I have a younger sister called Liz. When I was young, about your age in fact, my Mom got sick and died shortly after. It was really hard on all of us, especially my Dad, but we got through it. Shortly after I graduated High School my Dad got sick and died. He owned a hardware store in Stars Hollow, so I took over and turned it into a dinner. I wasn't really big on the hardware business, but I was a pretty good cook. I like it and I do pretty well with the dinner, so I've just stuck to it." Luke explained and shrugged. "Anyway, to make a long story short…many years went by, but I eventually met and fell in love with your Grandma. It took us a while to get our act together, but we did eventually. We've been married for seven years."

"What happened to Liz?" Ryan asked innocently.

Luke hesitated for a moment before deciding that Ryan didn't need to know all the details just yet. "Well, she was always more on the wild side than I was when we were kids. She had a lot of boyfriends in High School and thought she was in love with one of them. Liz eventually ran off with him and they had a baby boy. The boy grew up and Liz continued to go through boyfriends. I actually talked to her a while ago and she's doing pretty good for herself. She owns a jewelry making business and is married."

"So things turned out ok for you and Liz?"

"I'd say so." Luke agreed.

"Good."

"Why?"

"Well, you didn't really have two parents your whole life, but it still worked out. Kinda like me."

Luke was stunned by Ryan's words. "Yeah" He said slowly as he tried to think of something better to say. "Look, uh, Ryan, I know there is some stuff going on with your Mom, but I want you to know that I'm here for you. It sounds kind of strange since you don't know me too well, but I knew your Mom when she was a kid. I care a lot about her, so that means I care a lot about you. I don't want anything bad to happen to you and I'm going to do my best to protect you. You can always rely on me, ok?"

"Ok." Ryan nodded before giving Luke a small smile. "I'm going to like having a Grandpa."

Luke's heart practically melted as he reached over and pulled Ryan into his side and hugged him. "I'm going to like _being_ a Grandpa."


	5. Chapter 5

Lorelai spent about an hour walking around the streets before finding a grocery store close to Rory's apartment. She was so irritated and upset that she didn't want to head back to the apartment just yet.

Lorelai quickly gathered up ingredients for Luke to make spaghetti for dinner before paying and heading out of the store. Luke and Lorelai had been married long enough for it to be a well know fact that Lorelai was never going to be the family chef. She had tried to learn how to cook when she and Luke first got married, but after a couple dozen burned dinners she'd given up. Luke was very patient throughout the process, but eventually agreed that he'd be the cook and she'd keep the kitchen stocked with ingredients. Seven years into their marriage, it was a well honed system that worked really well for them.

As she approached the apartment building, Lorelai shifted the grocery bags in her arms and took a few deep breaths. She slowly ascended the stairs and knocked on the apartment door.

"Hey" Luke said as he opened the door and took a few of the bags from her. "Everything go ok?" He whispered.

"Fine" Lorelai shrugged. "I didn't expect it to go well, but she agreed to talk to me after dinner tonight."

"That's what all these bags are for?"

"Exactly" Lorelai nodded before finally entering the apartment and shutting the door behind her. "I assumed there wasn't much food here."

"Grandma!" Ryan exclaimed from his spot on the couch.

"Hey Ryan" Lorelai smiled at him, happy to divert her attention as Luke walked to the kitchen to put the groceries away. "What did you and Grandpa do today?"

"We watched TV and talked."

"Really? What did you talk about?" Lorelai asked and sank down onto the couch.

"We're getting to know each other. It was Grandpa's idea." Ryan said and smiled, seemingly pleased at the attention he was receiving.

"Really? Your Grandpa isn't much of a talker. How'd you crack him?" Lorelai joked.

"I don't know. He just started talking. He told me about his family and about Stars Hollow. Can I go there sometime? It sounds like fun."

"Sure, I'd love to take you there." Lorelai agreed.

XXXXX

About an hour before they expected Rory to be home from work, Luke and Lorelai began preparing dinner together. Ryan was in his bedroom working on homework.

Lorelai opened a cupboard door and stepped back in surprise as a large stack of papers and unopened mail fell out and onto the counter and floor. "Whoa. What is all this?" She said and began to pick it up, briefly glancing at the various pieces of paper.

Luke walked over to help her and soon began scanning to papers and frowning. "These are all bills and account statements. Looks like most of them haven't been opened."

"Oh my gosh. This credit card statement shows a balance of over twenty thousand dollars. How the heck did Rory accumulate such debt? What is going on, Luke?"

"That's not all. Look…" He said and showed her several statements. "Overdue bills, more credit card debt, and something from the IRS. It looks like Rory hasn't paid her taxes in a couple of years."

"Shit" Lorelai whispered. "This is bad, Luke."

"Yeah, she could go to jail for those tax issues."

Lorelai's heart began to race as she thought of all the implications of Rory's financial situation. "It just keeps getting worse." Lorelai whispered as Luke began to shove the paperwork back into the cupboard before hugging her.

"We'll fix it." Luke assured her.

"How? You keep saying that we'll fix this. What if we can't?"

"We'll worry about that if it happens. We can keep Ryan safe and help Rory straighten out her financial life. I know we can do that. The rest may be something only Rory can fix, but we'll do as much as we can."

"Ok, thank you." Lorelai sighed. "I suppose we should continue the dinner making process."

"Yup, back at it."

About an hour later Rory arrived home and went into Ryan's room without saying anything to Luke or Lorelai.

"Think that's an indication of how the rest of the night will go?" Lorelai asked.

"I hope not." Luke said. He paused for a moment before stopping what he was doing and looking at Lorelai. "I was actually just thinking about your talk. I was thinking I could take Ryan out for ice cream so you two can talk here. I don't know that Ryan should be within earshot of what might be said."

"Good idea." Lorelai nodded. "It's probably best that Ryan isn't here for that."

XXXXX

"Hey, I thought we were going to talk?" Lorelai asked as Rory put on her jacket and walked toward the front door.

Rory turned around and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket before waving them at Lorelai and jamming them back into her pocket. Lorelai sighed as Rory quickly walked out of the apartment.

Lorelai waited patiently on the living room couch until Rory returned a few minutes later. Lorelai couldn't help but cough as the smell of cigarette smoke wafted over to her.

"What? Can't handle a little smoke?" Rory scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"It's disgusting." Lorelai stated. "You should quit."

"Yeah, well…"

"Look, Rory, I know we kind of got off to a bad start, but I really am here to help you. What can I do?"

"Nothing." Rory frowned. "I didn't ask for your help. I'm doing just fine on my own."

"No you're not. Julia called me because-"

"I wish Julia hadn't done that." Rory interrupted.

"She obviously cares a lot about you and Ryan. She wants you to get some help. I'm here to offer that help."

"I really don't need your help, Mom. After all this time, you can't just swoop in here and take over." Rory huffed. " When I left with Jess years ago you made it pretty clear how you felt. I didn't comply with your wishes and we drifted apart. That's just how it is. You can't expect to just swoop in here and take over. I made my own choices and now I'm living with the consequences."

"You're struggling with the consequences. Rory, this isn't how life should be." Lorelai sighed at her daughter's stubbornness.

"I'm dealing with it. I'm getting help, just not from you."

"Ok…from who?" Lorelai wondered.

"I'm seeing a therapist. She's been very helpful. I'm working on some issues I have and things are going to get better really soon."

"A therapist?"

"Yes, why is that so hard for you to believe?"

"I just didn't think you needed that." Lorelai said slowly.

"Why is all of this so hard to believe?" Rory asked.

"Because this isn't you. You're stronger than this situation."

"It's hard raising a kid on your own, Mom!"

"I know! I did it!" Lorelai shouted back.

"It's not so easy doing it here. Living here is expensive."

"You don't have to live in New York, Rory. You could have come home a long time ago."

"No, I couldn't." Rory answered quickly. "You hated Jess. You said I shouldn't be with him. What was I going to do, just show up on your doorstep with his kid? I don't think that would have gone over too well."

"I would have been shocked, but it's not like I would have turned you away."

"At that point in time I wasn't exactly sure you wouldn't. I was scared and hurt after Jess left us. I was humiliated that the fairytale I was expecting didn't happen. I thought I loved Jess and didn't need anything else as long as I had him. When Ryan was born everything changed. It's not Ryan's fault. He was just born under lousy circumstances. After all that, I just couldn't come home and face you."

"You should have."

"Gah! This is why I can't talk to you! All you do is judge me and tell me what I've done wrong." Rory yelled and walked over to the front door. "I don't want you to help me!"

Lorelai stiffened at Rory's words of anger as Rory stormed out of the apartment and slammed the door closed.

About an hour later Luke and Ryan came back from their ice cream adventure. Lorelai listened intently as Ryan recounted all the details of their outing. When he was done, both she and Luke tucked him into bed and wished him a good night.

"I'm going back to the hotel." Lorelai sighed as she closed the door to Ryan's bedroom.

"What about Rory? Is she coming back tonight? Shouldn't we stay here and watch Ryan until she comes back?"

"I'm assuming Rory will be back, but I don't really want another run in with her. It's good you took Ryan out because our discussion turned into a screaming match." Lorelai sighed.

"She doesn't want your help?"

"Exactly."

"Ok" Luke nodded in understanding. "Go back to the hotel and I'll keep an eye on Ryan until Rory gets back."

"Thank you." Lorelai said before quickly kissing him.

Luke waited somewhat impatiently for Rory to return from wherever she was. He eventually wandered into the kitchen and began to slowly clean. He was somewhat disgusted with the state of the kitchen, but his mind was distracted enough that it didn't bother him like it normally would have.

Eventually, Rory came home and walked into the kitchen when she noticed the light still on.

"Oh, Luke, I didn't know you were still here. Is Mom here?"

"No, she went back to the hotel." Luke answered. "I didn't think it was a good idea to leave Ryan by himself, especially at night."

"Right, thanks Luke." Rory nodded.

"Hey, Rory, can I talk to you for a minute?" Luke asked as he leaned against the kitchen counter. Rory sighed and grabbed a beer out of the fridge before offering one to Luke. He politely refused and shook his head as Rory swiftly removed the cap with a bottle opener. She downed about a quarter of her beer before looking back at him.

"Ok, shoot." Rory joked and took another drink.

"Have you heard anything from Jess recently?"

"No, I already told you that." Rory huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Nothing at all?"

"No. If I'd heard something I'd be sure to let you know right away."

"Rory, I'm just trying to figure out what's been going on here."

"Gah! Why do you have to keep talking about Jess, Luke? Just drop it ok." Rory insisted.

"What? Are you still pissed at him or something?"

"Of course I'm still pissed at Jess!" Rory screamed at Luke. "He ruined my life! He got me pregnant and then left after Ryan was born because it was too hard for him to manage his habit and take care of a baby! I'm drowning in debt because Jess can't even be bothered to pay child support! I've been doing this all on my own for a long time and I don't need you and Mom to come in here and try to take over!"

"We're not trying to take over Rory. We're just trying to help." Luke said calmly.

"I don't want your help!"

"You don't have much of a choice, Rory." Luke insisted. "You have a kid that needs to be taken care of. Your Mom and I are here to help you."

"We've been doing just fine without you. Sure, it's hard sometimes, but we get by. Just leave us alone, Luke." Rory said and started to leave the kitchen.

"You're not taking care of him, Rory. You're drunk all the time or working. How is that taking care of a kid?"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Luke. You've never raised a kid!"

Luke flinched slightly as Rory's words practically slapped him in the face. "You're right. I haven't been lucky enough to get the opportunity to raise a kid. I don't know what it's like. However, I do know what I'd do if I had that chance. I sure as hell wouldn't piss my kid's life away."

"Screw you." Rory huffed before pushing passed Luke and storming out of the apartment.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thanks for all your reviews! Just a warning about this chapter…Jess fans may not really like it. However, this isn't going to be the last Jess interaction, so don't hate me too much just yet. **

XXXXX

The next morning, Luke, Lorelai, and Ryan were all eating breakfast at the kitchen table when a tall man with light brown hair and scruffy facial hair walked into the kitchen wearing nothing but his boxers. He walked closer to Ryan and ruffled the boy's hair as he said, "Hey little buddy".

"Hey Douglas." Ryan said casually as Douglas walked to the fridge and grabbed two beers before noticing Luke and Lorelai. "Hey" He said and nodded before going back to Rory's room and shutting the door.

"Um, who was that?" Lorelai frowned and asked Ryan.

"Douglas. He's Mom's special friend. He sleeps over some times." Ryan explained and shrugged.

"He's your Mom's boyfriend?" Luke tried to clarify.

"No. They're not dating. He just sleeps over." Ryan said and looked back and forth between Luke and Lorelai trying to figure out what they didn't understand. "You know…just at night…"

"ah, we get it." Luke said and frowned. He didn't say anything to Lorelai, but could tell she was upset that Ryan knew about his Mom's love life.

"Mom doesn't have a boyfriend right now." Ryan said. "She just sees Douglas every couple days and sometimes another guy named Tony. Tony doesn't come around as much as Douglas does, but it's ok because I like Douglas a lot better. He brings Pizza for dinner and always buys me root beer."

"They just come and go?" Lorelai asked in disbelief.

"Yeah."

"How do you feel about that?" Lorelai asked.

"Fine I guess." Ryan shrugged. "Mom needs friends too, so I don't mind. The guys she brings home lately are really nice to me."

"They haven't always been?" Luke asked and frowned.

"Sometimes the guys don't like kids and are mean to me. A long time ago one of the guys used to hit me, but Mom doesn't see him anymore. Douglas and Tony are nice to me."

Luke looked like he was trying to keep his cool around Ryan, so Lorelai quickly held his hand and squeezed it. "Ryan, no one should ever hurt you, ok? If someone ever does that to you again I want you to call me and we'll come right away. No one has the right to hurt you, ever." She said firmly.

"Ok." Ryan agreed. "It hasn't happened for a long time."

"That doesn't make it ok." Lorelai informed him. "It's never ok."

"Ok." Ryan nodded and went back to eating his breakfast.

Lorelai looked at him and couldn't help but feel sad for everything Rory had put him through. From everything that Ryan had said, Rory had done little to protect Ryan from the outside world. He was practically an adult at the age of nine. The more she thought about it the more anger she felt toward Rory. She loved her daughter, but didn't really like the way she was acting right now.

As the trio was finishing breakfast, Rory emerged from her bedroom with Douglas in tow.

"Ryan, Douglas and I are going out for a bit." She said before walking toward the door.

"Ok, bye Mom." Ryan nodded and waved.

Lorelai sighed and shook her head as the front door slammed closed.

XXXX

"Ok, how the hell do you work this thing?" Luke said as he starred at the computer screen.

"You know how to use a computer, Luke." Lorelai said as she walked around the living room picking up stray items and straightening things out.

"Yeah, but I don't know how to do this." Luke explained.

"What are you trying to do?" Lorelai asked as she walked over to the computer and put her hands on her hips.

"I'm going to find Jess."

"What?"

"Yeah. People look other people on the internet all the time. I'm going to search him." Luke stated as he moved the computer mouse and opened the internet browser.

"You mean you're going to Google him?"

"Yeah" Luke answered. "I need to get an address or phone number and I can't think of any other way to do it."

"Ok, well, let's Google Jess then." Lorelai shrugged before quickly going into the kitchen and getting a chair.

"That sounded dirty." Luke huffed as she sat down next to him. Lorelai snickered for a minute as Luke fumbled around with the computer. Lorelai helped him and a minute later they were staring at the search results for "Jess Mariano Philadelphia".

"Click on that one." Lorelai instructed Luke while pointing at the third search result. Luke followed her instructions and a website for Truncheon Publishing came up. Their search had led them to the contact page for the publishing house and Jess' picture and contact information.

"There he is." Luke said as they both looked at the page. "It says here that he is one of the owners of the publishing company. Seems to be doing alright."

"Yeah"

"Wonder why he couldn't be bothered to take care of his kid." Luke said gruffly while turning to face Lorelai. "It can't be that hard to call someone and say 'hey, I'm sorry I'm an asshole, but we got a kid together so at least let me write you a check once a month.'"

"I know Luke. I'm just as pissed at Jess as you are. He abandoned Rory and Ryan."

Luke shook his head and sighed in frustration. "I don't care how messed up Jess was or how scared he felt. There is no excuse for leaving Rory and Ryan. If he couldn't work things out between him and Rory he should have at least stayed close by to be involved in his son's life. I don't think Ryan even knows anything about Jess."

"It might be better that way."

"Yeah, but Ryan's getting to the age when he needs a father figure more. He also needs stable parents. You know how much I love Rory, but I don't like what's happening with her. She's destroying her life and Ryan's." Luke ranted. "I can't stand by and let this happen. I'm going to Philadelphia to see Jess."

"You're just going to drive there and punch him in the face?" Lorelai joked.

"Exactly." Luke said.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. You don't mind, do you? I'll drive there right now and be back tomorrow." Luke said.

"Well, I guess that's ok. I should probably be here for Ryan anyways since Rory is falling off the deep end." Lorelai shrugged. "Luke, be careful and don't do anything stupid, ok?"

"Ok." Luke agreed.

XXXXX

Luke walked up to the front door of Truncheon Publishing with clenched fists. He opened the door and looked around at the bookstore and a small coffee shop in the corner. Luke walked over to the coffee shop area and leaned on the counter as a young woman greeted him.

"I'm looking for Jess Mariano. You know where I can find him?" Luke asked gruffly which slightly started the young woman.

"Um. Can I ask what you'd like to see him about?"

"I'm his uncle. Luke Danes."

"Ok, be right back." She said before quickly exited the room and going upstairs. She returned a minute later with Jess hot on her heals.

"Luke?" Jess asked as he saw Luke.

"Jess." Luke began with anger in his voice. "What the hell is wrong with you!"

"Whoa. Luke, calm down." Jess insisted. "Let's go upstairs before you scare all the customers away."

Luke reluctantly followed Jess up the stairs and into an office before letting into Jess again. "I mean it Jess. What the hell is your problem? You completely abandoned your kid!"

Jess' eyes went wide and he took a few steps backwards as Luke moved closer to him. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Ryan." Luke said firmly.

"What? How did you…"

"You mean how did I find out that you and Rory have a kid?" Luke asked. "Hhmmm. Well, let's see. Some girl who is friends with Rory called Lorelai a couple days ago because Rory and Ryan need help. Rory's life is a mess. Apparently this friend of hers has been taking care of both Ryan and Rory because Rory's too drunk all the time to even look after herself. Lorelai and I drove to New York to help them out and found out that you abandoned both of them years ago! How could you do that!"

Jess shook his head and tried to find words. "Rory's a drunk?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. It's pretty bad actually."

"Wow. I never thought…"

"What? You never thought that Rory would fall apart like that? You never thought that Ryan wouldn't be ok without you? Or did you just never think?"

"I was messed up back then Luke."

"That's no excuse Jess! You should have straightened yourself out for Ryan's sake. If you couldn't do that you should have called me and I would have helped you." Luke explained.

"No, I couldn't. I wasn't thinking straight. I was addicted to drugs, Luke. People don't think straight on that shit."

"Well, are you still on drugs and not able to think straight?"

"No, I'm good now. Been clean for five years."

"And you never thought to contact Ryan in the last four years?" Luke pressed.

"I tried to, but they must have moved."

"That's it? You just called their old number, they weren't there, so you gave up?"

"No, I tried to find them, but I couldn't. What was I supposed to do?" Jess asked.

"You should have called me. I could have helped find them. Jess, you abandoned your kid! Weren't you at least sorry about that?"

"I am! I'm more than sorry, but I couldn't find them!" Jess shouted. Both men breathed heavily for a minute before calming down a little. "So, how is he?" Jess asked quietly.

"He needs a Dad." Luke said.

"Well, I don't know how good I'd be to him." Jess said.

"You'd probably be better at it than you think."

"ah, well that's not really what I meant." Jess tried to explain while running his hand through his hair. "I'm sort of already a Dad."

"What?"

"Well, uh, I'm sort of married." Jess explained while pointing to the wedding ring on his left hand.

"What?" Luke asked again in disbelief.

"Yeah, been married almost four years. Her name is Erin and we have two kids." Jess said to a stunned Luke. "Sarah is three and Mariah is one. They're both beautiful, Luke."

Luke couldn't believe what he was hearing. Jess had completely moved on after leaving Rory and Ryan in New York. He'd managed to clean his act up, open a business, get married, and had two daughters. Luke was absolutely furious with Jess. He took a deep breath and clenched his fists as he starred at Jess. Before either of them knew what happened, Luke suddenly punched Jess square in the nose.

"What the hell Luke!" Jess winced and covered his face as pain shot through his nose. "I think you broke my nose!"

"I can't believe you, Jess! After everything you went through as a kid, I thought you'd learned to do better. How could you possibly just leave Rory and Ryan? How could you?" Luke asked with hurt and anger in his voice. When Jess didn't answer right away, Luke turned and began to leave. He turned and looked at Jess before saying, "Call me when you grow up and learn to be a man." He could barely contain his anger as he left the offices and headed for his truck. He took a deep breath and relaxed a little before starting the truck and driving back toward New York.

XXXXX

While Luke was in Philadelphia, Lorelai attempted to wrap her mind around what she was going to do. She attempted to distract herself by doing the dishes, but the thought of leaving Ryan and going back to Stars Hollow terrified her. She couldn't imagine leaving a little boy in this environment.

"Hi Grandma" Ryan said and startled Lorelai out of her thoughts.

"Hi Ryan." Lorelai smiled and turned to look at him over her shoulder.

"What are you thinking about?" Ryan wondered innocently.

"Oh, just…thinking about your Mom."

"I know she's not sick." Ryan said quietly.

"What?" Lorelai asked while turning around from her spot at the kitchen sink.

"My mom. She's not sick. At least not the normal kind of sick." Ryan said quietly.

Lorelai didn't say anything but nodded for Ryan to explain further.

"She has some problems with drinking too much and smoking." He admitted. "She keeps saying she's going to quit though. We're ok Grandma. I take care of her when she needs help."

Lorelai couldn't help but tear up as her grandson explained how his life worked and how grown up he acted.

"I can cook a little bit and make dinner most nights. I do my homework all by myself and get to school on time every day. I get my Mom up when she has to go to work and make sure she eats." He explained and shrugged. "It's no big deal."

"Yes it is, Ryan. You're so responsible. I'm very impressed." Lorelai said quietly. She silently cursed Rory for letting all this happen and from robbing Ryan of his childhood. "What about school work? Do you get enough time to get it all done?"

Ryan looked down at his feet and softly responded. "Most of the time. I don't always understand it all so I can't finish it."

"Hey, don't feel bad about that." Lorelai insisted and hugged him. "You're being very responsible and helping your Mom out. That can't always be easy and probably takes up a lot of your time. If it makes you feel any better we'll come up with a way to make sure you get help with your homework."

"Thanks Grandma." Ryan said.

Lorelai hugged the little boy tighter and realized exactly what she needed to do.

XXXXX

When Rory finally came home that afternoon Lorelai decided to confront her.

"Rory, I'm taking Ryan with me to Stars Hollow." Lorelai said and crossed her arms, preparing for a battle with her daughter.

"You can't just take him." Rory huffed.

"You're not taking care of him Rory. He's taking care of you. That's not right and I can't let this go on any longer. He's a little boy and deserves a normal childhood. You aren't in any state to give him that, so I'm taking him with me." Lorelai insisted.

"Fine. You take care of him and pay all the bills. It's not as easy as you think." Rory scoffed. "Just don't call me and beg me to take him back when you get sick of him." Rory said and walked to the front door before turning back toward Lorelai. "You know, we were fine before you came here."

"No you weren't Rory. That's why Julia called me. Things were falling apart all around you. I just came to help fix things." Lorelai said kindly.

Rory scoffed and shook her head. "Fuck off Mom." She sneered before turning and walking out the front door, slamming it behind her.

"Please tell me Ryan didn't hear that." Lorelai whispered as she starred at the closed door. She slowly turned and winced when she saw Ryan standing in the doorway to his bedroom. He didn't say anything but looked down at the ground before turning and going back into his room. Lorelai's heart hurt as she tried to think of what to say to him. "Ryan?" She said quietly while entering the room.

"Can you please just leave me alone?" Ryan asked from where he sat on his bed.

"How much of that did you hear?" Lorelai asked as she sat next to Ryan and put her arm around his small frame.

"Pretty much all of it." Ryan admitted and leaned into her.

"She didn't mean all of that." Lorelai insisted. "Your Mom didn't mean to say all of that stuff. She's not herself."

XXXXX

"Lorelai!" Luke called as he entered the apartment.

"Luke? You're back early." Lorelai said from the kitchen.

"Yeah, well, Jess is an ass. I couldn't be there any longer." Luke stated.

"Care to explain a little more?"

"I went to that publishing office in Philadelphia and he was there. I talked to him and he said he cleaned up his act about five years ago. He also basically said that he gave up on Ryan because he couldn't find where he and Rory were living." Luke explained. "The worst thing is that he doesn't seem to be interested in Ryan at all. In fact, he's got a family. He's married and they have two little girls."

"That's unexpected." Lorelai breathed. "I can't believe this. I can't believe this mess. Rory's completely destroying herself, we have a grandson who is in desperate need of stable parents, and Jess doesn't give a rat's ass. Perfect. Exactly how I always thought things would turn out." She huffed before crossing her arms and sinking into the couch.

"Pretty much my last guess also." Luke agreed and sat next to her. After a moment of silence, he spoke up "What are we going to do now?"

"I don't really know." Lorelai said. "I think we need to take Ryan home with us and take care of him. I'm not really sure for how long, but he can't stay here with Rory. This environment isn't good for him and I seriously doubt it's going to improve soon. It breaks my heart that Rory's done this to herself, but she's a grown woman and I can't make her choices for her. I want her to get sober, but she has to do it on her own or it's not going to be a permanent thing. She has to want to change, Luke."

"I agree. You think we're ready to take care of a kid?"

"Not really." Lorelai joked.

"Well, we'll give it a shot anyway. I guess we can't screw up too bad at this point." Luke said.

"Good point." Lorelai agreed. "I think we should leave tonight. I told Rory that I wanted to take him and she wished me luck and told me to 'fuck off'."

"Nice." Luke snorted. "I think tonight is as good a time as any. Have you talked to Ryan about all this?"

"Yeah, we talked this afternoon. He seems ok with coming to Stars Hollow, but is really worried about Rory."

Luke sighed and shook his head. "He doesn't have a father, his mother's an alcoholic, and he's worried about what's going to happen to her when he has to go live with his grandparents."

"He's a really good kid. I really think we need to work on him actually being a kid though. Sounds like he's more of a parent to Rory than she is to him."

"I think we can do that." Luke nodded and stood up from the couch before clapping his hands together and walking toward Ryan's room. "We should probably start packing some of his stuff."

"There isn't much in there, but we could start I guess." Lorelai agreed and joined Luke in Ryan's room. She took a look around and was amazed at how little there really was in the room. "Looks like Ryan could use some new clothes. Most of these look too small for him. Rory probably spent all her money on booze and couldn't afford to buy him clothes or was too out of it to notice that he needed new ones. As soon as we get home we're going shopping."

"uh, yeah." Luke agreed while holding up an almost toddler sized t-shirt. "I don't know anything about kids, but I'm pretty sure Ryan grew out of this years ago."

"Don't pack that. Don't pack anything that's obviously too small."

XXXXX

**AN: Thanks for reading! I know this was a big chapter packed with drama, but please leave a review and tell me what you think.**


	7. Chapter 7

Lorelai fidgeted nervously with her hands as she sat next to Luke in his truck. Ryan sat on the other side of her, staring out the window as they drove away from New York and toward Stars Hollow.

Luke noticed Lorelai's nervousness and reached out to hold her hand in his. He gently squeezed it to reassure her that everything would be ok.

Lorelai gave Luke a small smile before looking over at Ryan again. "Ryan?" She asked cautiously. "Is everything ok? You've been very quiet."

"I've never really left the city before." Ryan said and continued to look out the window as the city began to disappear. "Mom and I went to New Jersey once, but we mostly just did stuff in the city. Even when we went to the beach, we just took the subway."

"It's hard to leave home." Lorelai nodded. "It's going to be ok though, Ryan. You'll like Stars Hollow and living in a small town. It's a little crazy, but everyone really cares about each other. They'll like you too."

"I miss Mom already." Ryan sighed before leaning against Lorelai. "Maybe we should go back."

Lorelai wrapped her arm around Ryan and sighed. She tried to think of a way to tell him they couldn't go back until Rory got her act together. "You can still call and talk to your Mom on the phone. I know it's not the same, but we need to make sure you're safe."

"I was safe." Ryan insisted.

"You were doing a good job taking care of yourself, but you shouldn't have to do that. Your Mom should be taking care of you, but she can't right now. Once we get you settled with us we'll help your Mom."

Luke released his grip on Lorelai's hand and reached across her shoulders to put a hand on Ryan's head. "Hey" Luke assured him while continuing to drive. "We're not going to forget about your Mom. We love her too, but right now you are our top priority. Ryan, I promise you that your Grandma and I will do everything in our power to help your Mom. Ok?"

"Ok" Ryan agreed hesitantly. "How much longer till we get to Stars Hollow?"

"A couple more hours." Lorelai answered.

"Ok" Ryan sighed and closed his eyes.

Lorelai held Ryan tighter and brushed his hair away from his face before smiling nervously at Luke.

"It really will be ok." Luke whispered.

"I sure hope so." Lorelai sighed.

XXXXX

"Do you think he's ok down there?" Lorelai asked as she got into bed with Luke.

"He's fine." Luke assured her. "We told him to come get us if he needed anything. He's old enough to make it through the night by himself."

"I know, but I worry." Lorelai sighed. "I don't want him to be afraid of being alone down there."

"He's fine, Lorelai."

"Ok, you're right." Lorelai agreed and cuddled up next to her husband. "I was thinking about something all day."

"Yeah?"

"Changing Rory's room into Ryan's just made me think about our family. It made me think of how long we've been wanting to make that room over."

"Lorelai" Luke sighed, knowing where the conversation was going.

"I know you're thinking about it too." Lorelai said. "I was just thinking that instead of having a Grandson in that room…it could have been a Son."

"I thought we decided…"

"We did." Lorelai quickly agreed. "I'm not changing my mind; just stating a fact. If things had worked out right, we'd at least have a four year old down there and maybe another baby. I can't help but think about that today."

"I thought about it too." Luke mumbled. "I thought about how great it would be to have a couple little ones with you, but it didn't work out that way."

"I'm so sorry, Luke-"

"It's not your fault." Luke cut her off. "Don't feel bad about that. You didn't do anything wrong. It just didn't work out."

"I feel so betrayed by my body." Lorelai sighed. "I wanted so badly to give you a baby, but I can't."

"Lorelai, it's not your fault. I don't blame you for anything. I'm happy to just have you; that's all I need." Luke insisted. "We were both devastated with the miscarriages, but I thought we had moved passed it."

"We have. It's just…."

"I know." Luke nodded. "Let's just focus on Ryan now."

"So it's ok that he's a Grandson and not a Son?"

"It's more than ok." Luke smiled. "We get to be Grandparents and have Ryan here full time."

"And learn how to be young hip Grandparents." Lorelai added.

XXXXX

"What are you doing up so early?" Luke asked as he wandered into the kitchen. He reached for the coffee pot, as was his usual morning routine, but found that Lorelai had beat him to it.

"You seriously think I'd be up this early without my elixir of life? How long have we been married again?" Lorelai joked as she sat at the table going through a stack of paperwork.

"Right" Luke nodded. "That still doesn't answer my first question though. Why are you up?"

"I'm looking through this paperwork Rory had. It's all of Ryan's records. I was planning on enrolling him in school today. We need to get him into a normal routine." Lorelai answered without looking up.

"Good idea."

"Hey, look." Lorelai said and suddenly stopped while extending a paper toward him. "It's Ryan's birth certificate. Look at his name, Luke."

Luke leaned over her shoulder and squinted to read out loud, "Ryan Lucas Mariano."

"_Lucas_" Lorelai repeated. "Luke…" She whispered and turned to look him in the eye. "They named him after you."

Luke nodded and grunted in response as he processed the information.

Lorelai smiled and handed the certificate to Luke as she turned back to the stack of papers. "Wait" Lorelai said as she saw the next paper. "Not _Mariano_, it's Gilmore. Ryan Lucas Gilmore."

"Huh?" Luke asked.

"Look at this. Rory changed his last name. She changed it to Gilmore. Look at the date on this. Ryan must have been, what…three years old?"

"Probably after Jess took off. Rory probably figured he wasn't coming back and changed Ryan's last name to Gilmore so it would be easier. That way she didn't have to explain why she and her son had different last names all the time." Luke shrugged.

"You never cease to amaze me, Luke Danes." Lorelai smiled. "I tell you your Grandson was named after you and you just grunt in response, yet you have a very detailed and logical explanation as to why Rory changed his last name when he was three years old."

"My mind works in mysterious ways." Luke smiled.

"I guess." Lorelai said and shook her head while talking the birth certificate back from Luke. "So, I'm assuming Ryan really has no idea about Jess then."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I don't know. I guess it is what it is."

"Yes. Anything else we need to know in that stack of paperwork?" Luke asked.

"It's mostly just medical records and school paperwork."

"Ok, how about I cook a big breakfast and you put that stuff away. Ryan will probably be up soon."

"Good idea." Lorelai agreed and began shuffling papers. She was almost finished organizing everything when Ryan emerged from his room.

"Hi" He said cautiously.

"Good Morning" Luke nodded. "You like pancakes, right?"

"Yeah" Ryan smiled.

"Good, because I'm making a big batch and I expect you to eat a lot of them."

Ryan smiled and sat at the table as Lorelai greeted him. "Morning, Ryan. Did you sleep ok?"

"Yeah." He answered and tried to look across the table at the papers Lorelai had. "What's all that?"

"Oh, nothing. Just some papers your Mom gave me. It's just stuff I need to register you for school and take you to the doctor if necessary."

"Oh"

"Yeah. Oh, I saw your birth certificate in there too. I didn't know your middle name was _Lucas_."

"Yeah, I asked my Mom about that one time. I was just curious so I asked her why she gave me my name."

"What did she say?" Lorelai asked as Luke flipped a pancake and pretended not to be listening.

"She told me she picked Ryan as my first name because she liked it and Gilmore was her last name, so it automatically became my last name too. She said she picked Lucas as my middle name because it was special to her."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I thought maybe she meant it was my Dad's name too or something, but she said it wasn't. My Mom said that she know a man named Lucas and she wanted me to grow up and be just like him. She said she would be really proud of me if I turned out to be like him." Ryan explained innocently and shrugged his shoulders.

Lorelai's heart practically melted as she looked at Luke and saw the emotion in his eyes.

"I think it's kind of strange though." Ryan said and interrupted their moment. "If she wanted me to turn out like Lucas, why didn't she just make my first name Lucas?"

Lorelai giggled a little at Ryan's words and said, "Probably because it would be too confusing."

"Oh, ok." Ryan shrugged.

Luke cleared his throat and quickly put a couple pancake on a plate and set them down in front of Ryan. "Ok, eat up."

"Yum" Ryan said before reaching for the syrup and pouring a little too much on.

Lorelai smiled at how Ryan seemed to be replicating her own eating habits as Luke just rolled his eyes and went back to the stove.

"Grandma?" Ryan asked a minute later.

"Yes Ryan?" Lorelai said and looked up from her own plate.

"Is my new school going to have a Grandparents' Day?" Ryan asked quietly.

Lorelai thought for a moment before answering. "I'm not sure. Probably. Is that something most schools have?"

"My last school had it. I was the only kid in my class who didn't have Grandparents."

Lorelai's heart sank before she looked him in the eyes and said, "If your school has a Grandparents' Day, your Grandpa and I will be there for sure."

"Absolutely, count me in." Luke agreed and placed another pancake on his Grandson's plate.

"Good. I hope they have it." Ryan nodded before continuing to eat.

XXXXX

"Jess?" Rory whispered when she opened the front door and found Jess standing there with his hands in his pockets.

"We need to talk. Can I come in?" He said and finally looked up at her.

"Sure" Rory said and stepped aside so Jess could enter.

As he walked passed her, Jess smelled alcohol on her breath and decided to get right to the point. "Where is he?"

"He? You mean Ryan, our son?"

"Yes. Where is Ryan?" Jess asked.

"Mom and Luke came and took him to Stars Hollow. Why are you suddenly so interested?"

"Because I'm his father."

Rory scoffed and crossed her arms. "I'm pretty sure that's the first time you've ever said that. You're a little late if you're here to finally care about him. You lost out when you walked out on us Jess. I can't even believe you're here. You completely ruined my life Jess."

"I ruined your life? I thought you made your own decisions Rory. Don't blame me because you screwed up your life." Jess said sternly.

"This is totally your fault!" Rory spat at him. "You begged me to go to New York with you and I naively followed. I foolishly thought you loved me, but I was wrong. You had one thing on your mind; getting me to have sex with you! Once you got me into bed you didn't care about me at all."

"Please." Jess scoffed. "It's not like you were any good anyways."

"You jackass!" Rory yelled. "I should have never believed that you cared about me. I should have left after being with you a month. If you hadn't gotten me pregnant we wouldn't be in this mess anyways."

"Please, that was just as much your fault as it was mine. We never used protection Rory, what did you think was going to happen."

"I was young and didn't really know what I was doing. You were way more experienced than me Jess. You should have taken more responsibility! All you ever cared about was getting your next high! I hate you for ruining my life!" Rory yelled and shoved Jess.

"Hey. Calm down Rory. Are you on something? You're acting like a maniac. And for the record, you ruined your own life by being a selfish little bitch." Jess yelled back at her.

"You're a jerk!" Rory screamed and launched herself at Jess, hitting his chest as hard as she could. "I hate you." She repeated while pounding her fists into him.

"Hey! Stop!" Jess said and grabbed her arms before forcing her onto the couch. They both laid there for a minute until Rory began to fight him again, this time kneeing him between his legs. "Gah" Jess grunted and sat back away from Rory. She launched herself up at him and began hitting him again until he grabbed her arms, struggled with her for a moment, and pushed her backwards. Instead of falling back onto the couch like Jess had intended, she fell to the side and hit her arm on the coffee table. Rory winced in pain and held onto her arm as Jess stood up and noticed blood on her cheek from their altercation. He noticed a bottle of alcohol on the coffee table and quickly tossed it at Rory.

"Here, why don't you numb the pain a little more." He huffed and walked to the front door. Before he left, he pulled his wallet out of his pocket, took out a business card and tossed it on the floor. "Give that to Ryan." He said before leaving.

XXXXX

Lorelai took a deep breath as she sat on the couch in her parents' home. She was dreading telling Richard and Emily, but she couldn't hide Ryan from them much longer.

"So, Lorelai, what was so important that you had to speak with us in the middle of the day? Your father came home from his office just for this." Emily said coldly.

"ah, well, this is hard news to share." Lorelai began. "I got a call about a week ago. It was a friend of Rory's and she said Rory needed help."

"Rory?" Richard whispered and looked at Lorelai.

Lorelai nodded and explained further. "She's in New York, but things haven't been going very well. It's actually really sad and not at all what I expected to find. She's an alcoholic and I think she's been into drugs lately. I found huge stacks of unpaid bills in her apartment. She works a couple different jobs and lives in a crappy apartment in a not so great part of town."

"Stop it Lorelai." Richard said sternly. "That's not Rory. Don't say things like that about her that aren't true."

"It's all true Dad." Lorelai shook her head.

"Well, then why are we sitting here?" He bellowed. "We should be there helping her or getting someone who can help her."

"I agree, but there was something more important that needed to be done first."

"What could possibly be more important than helping Rory?" Emily wondered.

"She has a son. A nine year old boy. He was living there with her in that mess. That's why Rory's friend called me and asked me to help them. Rory's too out of it to take care of him." Lorelai explained. "Luke and I brought him to Stars Hollow to live with us until Rory can get her life straightened out."

"A boy? Rory has a boy?" Richard asked.

"Yes. He's nine years old and his name is Ryan. Ryan Gilmore, actually."

"Can we meet him?" Emily immediately asked.

"Yes, that's why I came over here. I wanted to tell you about Ryan and talk about the details of you meeting him." Lorelai said. "I think you should meet at Friday night dinner, but I don't want to bring him here yet. He's still adjusting to me and Luke and living in Stars Hollow. I think this house might be really intimidating to him and I'd rather not scare him. He's not a typical little boy, so I just want to ask that you be sensitive to the situation."

"What exactly is the situation?" Richard asked skeptically.

"Well, he's a great kid, but Rory hasn't been much of a parent to him. He's had to take care of himself for years and has also taken care of Rory for just about as long. He's very responsible and independent, but he's a little insecure of himself and lacks confidence at times. He's also a little behind in school because he's so focused on Rory and helping her. I just don't want you to expect a typically nine year old kid."

"What about the boy's father? Where is he?" Emily inquired.

"Jess, they boy Rory ran away with, is Ryan's father. Apparently Ryan knows nothing about him except that Jess left when Ryan was a baby. So, please don't bring that subject up. Luke and I are going to talk to Ryan about it soon, but we want to let him get to know us a little bit more first."

"Ok, I think we can agree to those terms." Richard nodded. "Lorelai, I think you're doing the right thing, but I can't help but say that I'm very disappointed in Rory."

"I know Dad." Lorelai said sadly. "So am I. I think all we can do now though is just do what's best for Ryan and let him enjoy his childhood."

"What about Rory?" Emily asked.

Lorelai sighed and shook her head. "I really wish there was something I could do to help her, but I think this is something she has to do on her own. If I pull her out of that environment, she's just going to start drinking again wherever I take her."

"Send her to a rehab facility. We'll pay for it." Richard said.

"Thanks for the offer Dad, but I don't think it's going to do any good unless Rory wants to go."

"I suppose you're right Lorelai." Emily agreed. "There is a woman in my DAR group who's son has been in and out of rehab several times. She's at her wits end with him, but he doesn't want to change."

"I don't want to drag Ryan through all that." Lorelai said. "He's at a really critical age right now. I'm afraid that if I don't make sure he has a good childhood that he'll go down the wrong path in his teenage years. He needs to be in a stable home and have a male role model around. I know you both don't think much of Luke, but I can already tell that Ryan looks up to him. Luke will set a good example for him."

"Lorelai, we may not have been very supportive of your relationship with Luke at times, but he's a good man." Richard said. "I can see him being good with the boy."

"Thanks Dad." Lorelai smiled.

"You have our support Lorelai." Emily said firmly. "We'll help you in any way we can."

"Yes." Richard quickly agreed. "If we can't do anything for Rory than we're going to give Ryan the best. Let us know if and when we can help."

"Thank you both." Lorelai smiled. "You can help by coming to my house for Friday night dinner and getting to know Ryan."

"Should we bring anything? Food for dinner or gifts for Ryan? What does he like?" Emily offered.

"How about you just come without any gifts this time. Get to know him and what he likes and then bring something the next time we have dinner. I think Ryan would feel more special if you got to know him first." Lorelai said and stood up to leave. "Thanks again." She said before her parents both smiled and said goodbye.


	8. Chapter 8

Julia sat in the hospital emergency room, watching as the doctor stitched Rory's forearm. Julia had arrived at Rory's apartment and quickly rushed her off to the hospital. Nothing had been explained, but Julia knew a long talk was coming.

After the doctor finished up, he gave Rory instructions to properly care for the wound. Julia promised to look after Rory and helped her sign out. They walked back to Julia's car and drove all the way home without saying a word.

"What happened, Rory?" Julia asked as Rory sat down on the couch.

"Nothing"

"No, I think you need to explain this one, Rory. I come over and you're bleeding and in pain. What went on here?"

"Jess showed up."

"Who's Jess?"

"Ryan's father. I guess Luke talked to him and yelled at him for everything. Jess showed up and wanted to know where Ryan was. We started arguing about everything from the past and it got physical." Rory shrugged.

"He hit you?" Julia gasped.

"Not really. I suppose I should be credited with starting the fight. He mainly just defended himself. I hurt my arm when I fell on the coffee table."

Julia sighed and nodded. "Is there anything I can do? Can I help you in some way?"

"Not really. I think I just want to be alone at this point." Rory said. "I appreciate you taking me to the hospital and everything."

"Ok, call me if you need anything."

"Thanks" Rory nodded as Julia let herself out of the apartment.

Rory sank into the couch and tried to get her fight with Jess out of her mind. Images of their past together flooded her mind. The way they struggled to make it and how everything fell apart. How completely alone she felt for so long. There were so many things that fed her current situation that Rory didn't know how to unwind it all. The worst part was that Ryan was gone. He was the one ray of sunlight in her dark world and now he was gone.

Rory shuddered as she thought of what she had become. She got up off the couch and went into the kitchen. It was just too hard to deal with everything and all Rory wanted to do was numb the pain. It felt like her life was completely out of control and there was nothing she could do about it. Rory rummaged around the cupboards and eventually found a bottle of Vodka. She didn't even bother getting a glass and took the bottle into her bedroom. She laid down on the bed, turned a movie on, and began to make the pain go away.

XXXXX

Jess pulled his car to a stop just outside of Luke's Diner and took a deep breath. He was nervous, but knew this was something he had to do. He got out of the car and quickly walked into the diner.

Luke looked up from his spot behind the counter as the bell above the door rang out.

"Jess" Luke said as everyone else looked at the man standing in the doorway.

There were several hushed whispers as Jess walked toward the counter. He looked around over his shoulder before pointing upstairs. "Mind if we go up and talk?"

"Sure." Luke nodded. "Coffee?"

"That'd be great." Jess agreed and took the cup of coffee when Luke offered it to him.

Luke led the way up the stairs and closed the apartment door behind Jess.

"Wow. This place looks exactly the same." Jess noticed as he looked around his uncle's apartment.

"Yeah, well…I don't really use it anymore. Lorelai's place already had furniture, so I just moved my clothes and personal items over there."

"Makes sense." Jess nodded as he sat down on the old leather couch.

Luke joined him and crossed his arms over his chest as he turned to Jess. "So, what'd you want to talk about?"

"Well, things didn't really go so well last time talked." Jess began. "I've had some time to think and talk things over with my wife. First, I want to apologize to you for the way I acted. The only excuse I have is that I was caught off guard. Second, I think we need to talk about some stuff. There is a lot that you don't really know about."

"Like what?" Luke wondered.

"Like some of the things I went through as a kid. You probably had some idea, but I don't think you really knew how off track I was getting in my teenage years." Jess admitted and took a deep breath. "I was getting into trouble with drugs and drinking. You knew I smoked, but that was just the tip of the ice berg. I was a mess. Liz couldn't help me since she was wacked out too, so she sent me to you. You know the rest of that story."

"I do." Luke agreed and nodded for Jess to continue.

"When I moved away from Stars Hollow and to New York I fell back into some of those habits. I live with a couple other guys who messed around with drugs and developed a habit. It was so stupid, but I just got sucked into it. I tried to get out, but I didn't know how. I remembered how great things were when I lived here with you and I was with Rory. I thought I wanted to be with her again, so I went to see her at Yale. Once we got to New York, we stayed with the same group of guys I was living with. It wasn't an ideal situation, but we didn't have any money. It was bad, Luke. Rory and I both thought that being together would solve whatever problem life threw at us. We were too young to know that wasn't realistic."

"So, why didn't you just admit you'd made a mistake and come home? At the very least, you could have sent Rory back home?"

Jess shook his head and sighed. "I thought about that, but Rory insisted things would get better and that we could make it work. She tried really hard, but I didn't put any effort into it. I worked full time and did my best to support us, but even with both of us working we could never afford much. We moved into our own place and then Rory got pregnant. It was just really bad timing."

"I still don't understand why you didn't ask for help, Jess. I would have come." Luke said gently.

"I was too proud." Jess admitted. "I just kept thinking things would get better. When they didn't, I turned toward things I thought would make me happy. Only…they were the wrong things. I should have turned toward Rory and the baby, but…it was just easier to do my own thing and numb my pain with substance abuse. When I really couldn't take it anymore, I ran. I hate that I did that, but I can't change that fact now. I feel so ashamed. I abandoned them, Luke."

Luke nodded as Jess took a moment to collect his thoughts and clear the lump in his throat. "There are a lot of things I should have done too, Jess. I should have come to New York and taken you and Rory back here."

"We wouldn't have come." Jess interrupted him. "Rory and I discussed that. We had our minds made up that we were going to be together with or without our families approval."

"You certainly did just that." Luke agreed. "Does your wife know?"

"About all this?"

"Yeah."

Jess nodded. "Erin knows everything. When I left New York, I came to Philadelphia and entered a drug treatment program. I saw a therapist and worked through a lot of stuff. In fact, I still go see the guy once a month just to make sure I'm keeping on track. Erin and I talk all the time, she's very supportive. It's kind of weird, but I guess you could say I'm a 'touchy feely' guy now." Jess smirked.

Luke chuckled and smirked too at the thought of his surly teenage nephew turning into a guy who was in touch with his feelings. "Amazing what those crazy wives will do to a guy."

"Really" Jess agreed. "She knows about Ryan, too."

"Does it bother her?"

"Not really. I don't think she's bothered by his existence. It's more about the fact that I'm not part of his life. She looks at how I am with our girls and wonders how I could ever turn my back on Ryan. Erin has always told me that I need to find him. She didn't think it was right that I ignore him."

"My thoughts exactly. Jess, did you really try to find them?"

"Sort of." Jess sighed. "I did look around the internet and try to find them, but I honestly didn't put much effort into it. Luke, my life was going so well. I was afraid that finding Rory and Ryan would bring back that bad time in my life. That's totally unfair to them, I know. I just…I wasn't ready to face the reality of my past…face the mistakes I made and the things I regret."

"You regret Rory and Ryan?" Luke snapped.

"No. Not their existence, just the way I left things." Jess clarified. "I have a Son who doesn't even know my name for all I know. Heck, if you hadn't come back into my life, I might not have ever known him. Maybe I'd run across a guy with the same last name as me and wonder if it was my kid or just a coincidence."

"He doesn't have the same last name as you." Luke spilled.

"What?"

"Ryan Gilmore. That's his name, legally."

"What? It's Ryan Mariano. I signed the birth certificate. I remember that part."

"Rory changed it. She changed his last name to Gilmore after you ran out on them. It doesn't seem like she had a whole lot of faith in you ever coming back."

"I was pretty messed up back then." Jess said quietly.

"It's no excuse."

"I know." Jess whispered and hung his head.

"Are you going to make it right?"

"I'm sure as hell going to try." Jess said adamantly and looked Luke in the eyes. "I don't expect Rory to forgive me for how I behaved. She has every right to be furious with me. I really hope that somehow I can find a way to have a relationship with Ryan. I'd really like that."

"He's a great kid."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He looks like you too." Luke smirked.

Jess smirked before asking, "So, I hear that he's in Stars Hollow with you. Do you think I might be able to see him?"

"Who told you that?"

"Rory"

"You saw her?"

"Yeah" Jess admitted. "It wasn't one of my proudest moments. I was pretty upset when I went to her apartment. She wasn't too thrilled to see me and we got into it."

"Jess" Luke warned.

"I'm sorry. I was shocked to see her like that and I just snapped."

"You can't snap around Ryan."

"I realize that. Can I see him?"

"I don't think that would be the best idea right now." Luke said slowly. "Ryan's just getting settled here. I think Lorelai and I need to talk to him first. I'm not trying to keep him from you, but you gotta understand where I'm coming from. I'm trying to protect this kid. He hasn't exactly had an easy go at life. Lorelai is very concerned with making sure he's allowed to be a kid for a while."

"Ok, I get that. Can you talk to Lorelai and maybe work out a plan for me to see him at some point?"

"I think that's doable." Luke nodded.


	9. Chapter 9

"Ok, here we are!" Lorelai exclaimed as she and Ryan approached Luke's Diner. They'd been in Stars Hollow for a few days, but Ryan still hadn't gone into the diner. Lorelai wanted to let the town gossip settle down a bit, but figured they wouldn't stop until they saw Ryan. She warned him ahead of time and hoped they wouldn't be too bad.

"Is it really that exciting?" Ryan wondered as he frowned at his crazy Grandma.

"Of course!" Lorelai scoffed and then smiled at the boy. She bounced up the steps and held the door as Ryan stepped inside. She sat at the counter and nodded for Ryan to join her.

Luke seemed to have sensed their arrival and quickly emerged from the kitchen. Lorelai leaned over the counter and kissed him before he poured her a cup of coffee.

"mmm" Lorelai said after drinking a sip of coffee. "Your Grandpa makes the best coffee."

"Can I try some?" Ryan asked.

"No" Luke insisted. "Kids don't drink coffee."

"My Mom lets me have it sometimes. Just half a cup." Ryan shrugged.

"It's not good for you." Luke said.

"Grandma drinks it"

"Half a cup isn't going to hurt him." Lorelai said to break the tension. She slowly slid her cup over to Ryan as Luke narrowed his eyes at her. "How about just a sip for now?"

"Ok" Ryan agreed and carefully raised the cup to his lips. "It's really good." He said and handed the cup back to his Grandmother.

"How about some hot chocolate?" Luke offered in an attempt to get the boy's mind off coffee.

"Ok, but no marshmallows please."

"No marshmallows?" Lorelai gasped.

"It changes the chocolate flavor. I like it better without marshmallows." Ryan shrugged.

"Definitely a Gilmore." Luke smirked and set a cup down in front of Ryan. "Strange eating habits." He looked around and cleared his throat as he noticed the entire diner staring at them. He shifted uncomfortably and crossed his arms over his chest as people continued to glance at them.

"It's ok" Lorelai said and touched his arm. She looked over at Ryan and smiled at how the attention didn't seem to bother him.

XXXXX

Luke worked hard preparing dinner for the weekly Friday night dinner with Lorelai's parents. He was making Spaghetti since Ryan said it was his favorite. Luke was sure Emily would make some jab about it, but he was more concerned about Richard and Emily meeting Ryan for the first time. Ryan was currently working on his homework in what was now his bedroom.

"Hey Ryan?" Luke called while chopping tomatoes.

"Yeah?"

"Want to come help me with dinner?"

"Sure" Ryan said and walked out into the kitchen.

"I'll teach you how to make Spaghetti sauce if you want."

"Make it? Doesn't it come out of a can?" Ryan wondered.

"Not the good stuff." Luke said. He carefully showed Ryan how to make the sauce until Lorelai came home from work.

"Hey! I'm home!" Lorelai shouted while taking her high heels off and hobbling into the kitchen. She kissed the top of Ryan's head and Luke on the lips before running upstairs to change. A minute later she was back downstairs in jeans and a nice top. "Anything I can do to help?" She asked while looking at what Ryan and Luke were doing.

"We've got it under control, thanks." Luke said. "It's almost done. When are your parents getting here?"

"Any minute now." Lorelai said as the doorbell rang. "Speak of the devil." She whispered while going to the front door.

Ryan looked at Luke nervously before Luke placed his hand on Ryan's shoulder. "It'll be fine Ryan. They'll like you." He said encouragingly before Ryan nodded.

Emily and Richard walked into the kitchen and smiled when they saw Ryan. Lorelai quickly stood behind Ryan and pushed him forward.

"Ryan, these are your Great Grandparents; Richard and Emily Gilmore." She said. "Mom, Dad, this is Ryan."

"Hello young man" Emily smiled. "It's nice to meet you. We've heard some wonderful things about you."

"Yes, we have." Richard agreed.

"Nice to meet you too." Ryan said quietly. "What should I call you? Great Grandpa and Great Grandma is kind of a mouth full."

"Indeed" Richard smiled. "Call us anything you like." He said and looked directly at Lorelai. "Don't get any ideas Lorelai." He warned.

"Rats" Lorelai smiled. "How about you call them Gran and Gramps?"

"Ok" Ryan agreed. "What do you think Gran and Gramps?" He smiled.

"That sounds nice, Ryan." Emily said. "What are you making for dinner Luke?" She said as Luke stood by the stove.

"Spaghetti. It's Ryan's favorite." He answered.

"Excellent choice Ryan." She nodded. "Ryan, is this your bedroom?" Emily asked while pointing to the bedroom just off the kitchen.

"Yeah, do you want to see it?" He asked.

"Of course" Richard answered for them and followed as Ryan showed them into his room.

"They're being nice." Luke whispered to Lorelai.

"Yes, surprisingly." Lorelai agreed. "I think they really do want to get to know him. They also know that if they don't play nice that I won't allow them to see Ryan."

"Have they said anything else about Rory?"

"No, not yet. I'm sure that discussion is coming." Lorelai sighed.

"Maybe you want to bring it up first so you can control the conversation?"

"Probably a good idea. Maybe after desert and Ryan's bedtime."

"Ok, I'll follow your lead." Luke nodded as Richard, Emily, and Ryan walked out of his room.

"You've settled in there nicely." Emily nodded. "Is it bigger than your old room?"

"A little" Ryan shrugged.

"Are you enjoying Stars Hollow?" Richard asked. "It's very different from New York City."

"It's good, I guess." Ryan answered. "There aren't a lot of people and it's really quiet."

"How is school?"

"He starts on Monday." Lorelai interjected. "Why don't we all have a seat? Dinner's almost ready."

XXXXX

Dinner and desert went very smoothly as Emily and Richard focused on getting to know Ryan. They seemed to avoid the subject of his Mother, but could tell that he missed her. Once the kitchen had been cleaned up, Luke and Lorelai informed Ryan it was time for bed.

Lorelai quietly shut the door to Ryan's bedroom and walked into the living room where her parents were visiting with Luke. He smiled in relief when she entered the room and sat down next to him.

"We were just telling Luke what a wonderful boy Ryan is." Emily spoke up.

"He's a pretty special kid." Lorelai agreed. "Just like his Mom."

Richard clenched his jaw and looked down at the floor as Emily shifted nervously in her seat.

"I think we need to talk about Rory, Mom and Dad." Lorelai began. "She's a complete mess and I don't know what to do about it. I tried to talk to her, but that had no effect. I thought maybe by brining Ryan here that she'd wake up and see that her life was a mess. I haven't been able to reach her on the phone. Ryan tried to call her to, but there was no answer. I'm getting really worried."

"Just how much trouble in Rory in?" Richard asked. "You said she was drinking heavily?"

"It appears her financial life is in ruins too." Luke explained. "I found a ton of unpaid bills, back taxes, and credit card notices. I think she's in over her head."

"I see" Richard nodded. "I can have our accountant look at all that and sort it out if you'd like."

"That's great Dad, but I don't think it will truly solve the problem. It will just give Rory an excuse to continue on the same path. Nothing will ever improve until she wakes up to reality."

"We need to get her into a treatment program." Emily nodded. "It's the only way. She can't think clearly now."

"I agree, Emily, but I don't think the treatment will help unless she wants it." Luke nodded. "She's got to realize it's the only way."

"So what can we do to make that happen?" Richard asked.

"I've thought of something, but it's rather unpleasant." Lorelai said. "I think the only way Rory will really understand how much help she needs is to take away the one thing she really cares about. I think we need to take Ryan away from her."

"But you've already brought him here." Emily stated.

"Yes, but that doesn't seem to have fazed her. She thinks it's only temporary." Lorelai sighed. "I hate to say this, but I think we need to somehow get permanent custody of Ryan. If Rory looses him, maybe she'll think about changing her life. Maybe that will shake her enough."

"And if it doesn't?" Emily asked.

"Then we'll have permanent custody of Ryan. I love Rory, but she's not being a Mother to that little boy. It's just not right and I won't see him continue to get hurt by him."

"What about the boy's Father? Won't he put up a fight if you and Luke try to get custody?" Richard wondered.

"He won't fight it." Luke answered. "I know Jess well enough to say that he won't fight us. Besides, he's got a young family now and probably wouldn't be able to take Ryan in anyways."

"Ok, so you'll sue for custody." Richard nodded. "I know a good family lawyer. I'll call him first think in the morning and see about getting the process started." He informed them before hesitating a moment. "Lorelai…I do have to warn you…this could be a nasty battle. I've heard stories of these types of things before and it doesn't usually go smoothly. Some terrible things will probably be said about Rory. You're sure you want to go through with it?"

"I know it'll be bad, but I can't see any other way. I want to save Rory, I really do, but we have to save Ryan first." She nodded firmly.

"Well, alright. That's settled." Richard agreed. "It's getting late, we should probably get going. Thank you for having us."

"We appreciate this opportunity to be involved in Ryan's life." Emily said sincerely as she and Richard gathered their coats and began to leave. They quickly said goodnight before leaving the house and driving away.

Luke sighed and began his nightly routine of turning off lights and locking doors as Lorelai went upstairs. When he finally walked into their bedroom, it was dark. He quickly got ready for bed and stripped down to his boxers before sliding into bed. He could hear Lorelai crying softly and wrapped his arms around her.

"Shhh. It'll be ok." He whispered into her ear.

"I know." Lorelai agreed and wiped her eyes. "It's just so hard to do this to Rory. I love her so much, Luke. I know this is the right thing to do, but it breaks my heart to hurt her."

"It's what you have to do." Luke said calmly. "I hope this wakes her up. I want to help her so badly."

"Me too."


	10. Chapter 10

"What are you doing Ryan?" Lorelai asked as Ryan stood at the kitchen table folding laundry.

"Folding my laundry."

"You don't have to do that Ryan." She said and shook her head. "I really appreciate that you want to help. I love that you're so responsible for yourself, but I want you to be a kid also. If I'm doing the laundry, I'd be happy to have you help, but I don't want you to make it your priority. It's Saturday morning. You should be sitting in the couch in your pajamas watching cartoons or playing with toys, not doing laundry."

"Oh, well, it's just that I always do laundry on Saturday morning. I like to do mine in the morning and then do Mom's if she hasn't done hers. It's no big deal." He shrugged. "I can do yours and Grandpa's clothes too if you want. It's no trouble."

Lorelai shook her head and started helping Ryan fold the rest of his clothes. "No, that's ok Ryan. It's very thoughtful of you to offer, but you don't have to do our laundry." They finished the clothes and carried them into Ryan's room. "Hey can I talk to you for a minute?" She asked Ryan and sat on his bed. He nodded and sat down next to her. "Ryan, I just wanted to explain why Grandpa and I don't want you do worry about the housework like you used to do when you lived with your Mom. We really do appreciate that you want to help. It's just that most kids your age don't worry about that kind of stuff. They're focused on being kids, going to school, playing with friends, and watching TV. We just want you to be able to do those things too. We can be the adults and take care of all the adult stuff for you. If you want to help when we're cleaning or doing laundry, you certainly can, but we don't want you to worry about it. We love you a lot Ryan. You'll be an adult before you know it. Just be a kid and have fun. Ok?"

"Ok." Ryan nodded.

"Good. How about we both change back into pajamas and watch cartoons?" Lorelai asked and smiled at him.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Ok!" Ryan said and stood up to get his pajamas.

Minutes later they were both sitting on the couch together laughing and joking as they watched cartoons.

"This is really funny. Are these shows on every Saturday?" Ryan asked.

"Yup. It used to be a Gilmore household tradition to spend Saturday morning vegging out on the couch. I think your Mom was about your age when we did that. She was always a really good student, so we never spent too much time on the couch."

"Do you think I could call her?" Ryan asked quietly.

"Of course." Lorelai nodded. "Do you miss her?"

"A lot." Ryan admitted. "I've never been away from her for this long."

"Aw, hun." Lorelai sighed and wrapped her arm around her Grandson. "I know it's hard, but this really is for the best."

"Do you miss her?" Ryan wondered and looked up at Lorelai.

"What do you mean? Of course I do." Lorelai frowned.

"You never talk about her." Ryan explained. "When you do, it's only because someone else brought her up first and then you don't say much. I don't know, it just seems like you don't miss her much."

Lorelai exhaled sharply at her Grandson's observation. "It's not that I don't miss her because I do. I miss her so much, Ryan. It's really complicated for me and I don't know if you can understand. I love your Mom with all my heart. It's really painful for me to talk about her sometimes because she's not the same person anymore. She's changed and she needs to get help with her life."

"When is she going to?"

"Get help?" Lorelai asked as Ryan nodded in agreement. "I don't know, bud. It's something that she has to take care of. I can't force her to do it and neither can you. All we can do right now is make sure you're taken care of and be there for your Mom when she's ready for help."

"I don't like this." Ryan frowned.

"What? Living here?" Lorelai questioned.

"No, Mom being sick and me not being able to do anything to fix it. I don't like it."

Lorelai's heart sank at Ryan's tender heart as she pulled him into a hug. "I don't like it either."

XXXXX

The next Friday night Emily and Richard agreed to come to Stars Hollow for dinner again. They greeted everyone warmly as they entered the house and hugged Ryan.

"I brought you something." Emily smiled as she handed Ryan a gift bag. Ryan quickly opened it and smiled when he saw the new baseball glove.

"Thanks Gran!" He exclaimed and hugged her.

"You're welcome Ryan. I noticed last week that your glove was looking a little small and worn, so I thought a new one would be a good idea."

"I also brought you a little something." Richard smiled and handed Ryan a book about baseball. "I thought you could use a little reading material."

"Thanks Gramps." Ryan said hesitantly while flipping through the book.

Lorelai winced as she saw Ryan scanning the pages. She knew he was having trouble in school, but hadn't fully realized how far behind he was until just recently. She forgot to warn her Dad that Ryan really struggled with reading and wasn't really up to the same reading level as his peers.

"You don't like reading?" Richard asked as he noticed the boy's pained expression.

"I'm not very good at it." Ryan said while looking down at the book. "I think this book may be too hard. I need to work on my reading."

Richard quickly looked at Lorelai in shock and then rested his hand on Ryan's shoulder. "Don't worry Ryan. I'll work on it with you. We can read that book together." He insisted and patted his back reassuringly.

"How is your new school? Are you enjoying it?" Emily asked.

"It's good." Ryan shrugged.

"You're making friends and you like the teacher?"

"I guess. They kids all know each other already, but I think they like me." Ryan explained. "The teacher is really nice."

"Good." Richard nodded.

"Ready to eat?" Luke asked and pointed toward the kitchen.

XXXXX

Luke paced back and forth in front of Stars Hollow Elementary School as he waited for Lorelai. They had both been called down to meet with the principal, but he wanted to wait for Lorelai before entering the building.

Lorelai's heals clicked loudly and she approached Luke with a worried expression on her face. "Hey, what's going on?"

"I don't know. I was waiting for you." Luke said and opened the front door of the school before following Lorelai to the office.

"Ryan? Is everything ok?" Lorelai asked and kneeled down in front of her Grandson as she saw him sitting in a chair.

"I'm fine." Ryan grunted and crossed his arms.

"Mr. and Mrs. Danes?" The principal asked as he opened the door to his office.

"Yes?" Lorelai asked and stood up to shake his hand. "Is everything alright?"

"Let's discuss that in my office." He insisted and ushered them inside.

"What's going on?" Luke pressed and leaned forward in his chair.

"Ryan was involved in a fight this afternoon." The principal explained as Lorelai and Luke frowned. "Apparently some of the boys have been teasing him and he snapped. There were punches thrown and the teacher had to break it up. Two boys went home with bloody noses. Ryan looks like he'll have a black eye, but that's about it."

"Oh my gosh." Lorelai gasped. "Ryan's not like that. What did those boys do to him? Are you sure he started the fight?"

"Yes. He admitted to throwing the first punch. I tried to talk to him, but he won't say much. Ryan is new here, but this isn't typical behavior for Ryan, so I'm a little puzzled. I know he just recently came to live with you both, so I'm going to chalk this up to an adjustment period. The normal punishment for something like this would be suspension, but I'm not going to do that. I'm sending him home with you today and asking you to keep him home tomorrow. I'm doing this under the condition that you both talk with him and find out what's bothering him. If there is something I can do to help, please don't hesitate to ask."

"Ok" Luke nodded. "We'll figure this out and handle it."

"Yes, thank you." Lorelai agreed before she and Luke shook the principal's hand and left.

"Let's go." Luke said to Ryan before he silently stood up and followed his Grandparents out of the school. Luke carried Ryan's backpack as the three of them silently walked home.

"Ryan, what's going on?" Lorelai asked as they entered the house and walked into the living room.

Ryan just shrugged in response.

"Ryan, you've never been in a fight before. Tell us what's going on." Luke insisted and Ryan slumped onto the couch.

"They were talking bad about my Mom." Ryan admitted and clenched his fists as tears suddenly came to his eyes. "The other boys wouldn't stop talking about her. They said my Mom was a drunk and couldn't take care of me so she sent me here. They said that I was just a stupid mistake my Mom made."

"No, that's not true." Lorelai insisted and sat next to Ryan, quickly engulfing him in a hug. Ryan's wall of defense crumbled and tears began to flow down his cheeks.

Luke huffed and clenched his fists as he began pacing the room, looking as if he wanted to throttle the kids who were picking on Ryan.

"Ryan, you are not a mistake. Those kids are bullies and you shouldn't listen to them." Lorelai insisted as she held onto him. "I think there is something I should explain though. Your Mom was very well liked when she was growing up here. People remember her as the perfect student. When she ran off with your Father it was a big shock to everyone. I think they still don't understand it and are shocked to find out about everything. They shouldn't be talking about it around you, but not everyone is very considerate or sensitive. It's not right, but that's what they're doing. Please don't listen to them if you can help it. I love you and Grandpa loves you. We're so very happy that you're here with us."

"Those kids are jerks." Luke said calmly as he sat down next to Ryan and put a hand on his shoulder. "But that's not a reason to be starting fist fights. You shouldn't be hitting anyone. I'm probably not the best person to say that to you since I've been known to lose my temper and get upset too easily. I need to work on that. Violence isn't the way to solve a problem."

"I'm sorry Grandpa." Ryan mumbled and quickly wiped his eyes while pulling away from Lorelai. "They just said some really mean stuff and I couldn't take it anymore."

"I understand the feeling, buddy." Luke nodded and hugged Ryan. He tasseled the boy's hair before standing up and looking at the dark circle around Ryan's eye. "We should get your eye taken care of. Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"My hand hurts." He admitted before Lorelai reached over to examine it.

"Steak for the eye and an ice pack for the hand?" Lorelai ask Luke.

"Yup, sounds good to me." Luke agreed.

"Is there anything else? Was it all the boys in the class picking on you?" Lorelai wondered as she hugged Ryan again.

"Well, they all joined in, but it was mostly just one boy. His name is Sam Forrester. I don't know why, but he just doesn't like me. I never did anything to him, I don't even know him." Ryan explained.

"Forrester?" Lorelai said out loud. "Is that Dean's kid?"

"Who's Dean?" Ryan asked as Luke walked back in the room.

"What about Dean?" Luke stopped.

"His kid was one of the ring leaders in picking on Ryan." Lorelai said and clenched her jaw. She stood up and looked at Luke with anger in her eyes. "Can you help Ryan for a bit? I'll be back in a while."

"Lorelai, don't do anything stupid." Luke warned as she practically raced out the door.

Lorelai walked toward Dean and Lindsay Forrester's house with determination. She hit her fist against the front door and crossed her arms over her chest as she waited for someone to answer.

"Lorelai?" Dean frowned as he opened the door.

"Dean, we need to talk." Lorelai said plainly.

"Ok, come on in." Dean shrugged and stepped aside before showing Lorelai into the living room. He barely talked to Lorelai these days, so it was odd for her to show up and want to talk. She wasn't hostile to him or anything, they just had nothing in common. She'd say "hi" and wave if their paths crossed, but that was about that.

"Have you talked to your Son today?" Lorelai asked.

"Which one? I just got home five minutes ago, I haven't seen them yet."

"Dean? Is someone here?" Lindsay asked as she walked into the room with their youngest Son, Randy on her hip. He was about a year old and seemed to be happy. Lindsay and Dean now had five children; Sam was nine, Henry was seven, Lucy was five, Caylee was three, and baby Randy rounded out the brood.

"Hi Lindsay." Lorelai said and gave her a small smile. "How's your little one? He looks happy."

"He is." Lindsay smiled and kissed the baby's forehead. "I'll keep the kids occupied upstairs for a while. Nice to see you, Lorelai." Lindsay said and went up the stairs.

"Thanks" Lorelai nodded and turned toward Dean. "I don't know if you've heard, but I recently re-connected with Rory."

"I heard." Dean interrupted. "Lindsay and I were discussing it the other night. One of her friends told her."

"Oh, so you probably also know that Rory has a Son, Ryan, and he's living with Luke and I."

"Yeah."

"He's in the same grade as your oldest boy." Lorelai said. "Apparently there was an incident at school today. Ryan said that Sam was picking on him."

"Sam? Really?" Dean frowned. "Why would he do that? He doesn't know Ryan."

"I don't know. That's what Ryan said and I wanted to discuss it with you."

"Sam!" Dean yelled and got up from the couch. He waited at the bottom of the stairs until Sam slowly walked down toward his Father. "Did something happen at school today?" Dean sternly asked the boy.

"No" Sam lied.

"Then why is Lorelai here telling me you were involved in a fight with Ryan Gilmore?" Dean questioned and pointed toward where Lorelai was sitting on the couch.

"You said he was bad." Sam admitted.

"What?" Dean snapped. "I never said Ryan was bad."

"You said bad things about his Mom."

Dean frowned and tried to figure out what his Son was talking about until it dawned on him. "Did you hear your Mother and I talking the other night?"

"Uh huh" Sam nodded.

"So, you heard us talking about who she was and what's going on now?"

"Yeah." Sam nodded again.

Dean sighed and looked over at Lorelai. "Lorelai, I think this is all a big understanding. Lindsay and I were talking about Rory the other night and Sam over heard. I think he misunderstood and got a little carried away with Ryan."

"It's not just a misunderstanding to Ryan." Lorelai frowned. "It's much more serious to him. Everyone is gossiping about him and Rory. The last thing he needs is your Son picking on him. The situation is bad enough without Ryan having to feel afraid to go to school." She said and got up to leave.

"Lorelai, this isn't that big of a deal-"

"It's a big deal to me, Dean." Lorelai huffed. "My daughter is throwing her life away and I have a Grandson in desperate need of a stable childhood. I'm trying to take care of Ryan and I don't need you to make it any harder. Focus on your own kids and keep them away from Ryan." Lorelai said and quickly left the house.

Dean sighed and shook his head in embarrassment. "We're going to apologize." Dean said to Sam and pushed him toward the front door.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Hi! Sorry it's taken me a while to update! I know this is really short, but I figured it was better than nothing. Bigger chapters ahead. (Please review when you're done. I love feedback.)**

Richard walked into the Dragonfly Inn and toward the front desk where Lorelai was standing. She was wearing a grey pant suit with a pink ruffley top and seemed to be concentrating on some sort of paperwork.

"Lorelai" Richard said and startled her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"Dad, Hi." Lorelai smiled.

"Lorelai, we need to talk." Richard said seriously.

"Ok, sure, let's go into my office." Lorelai nodded and escorted her Father through the hallway and into her office.

Richard took a seat as Lorelai walked behind the desk and sat in her office chair. Richard hadn't been here there in a while, but immediately noticed all the pictures of Rory had been removed at some point.

"So, what's on your mind?" Lorelai asked and folded her hands on the desk top.

"I had a meeting with Tad Wilkes today. He's the family law attorney I mentioned before. He's been starting work on your custody case for Ryan." Richard explained as Lorelai listened intently. "He thinks we have a pretty good case and it shouldn't be a problem for you and Luke to obtain temporary custody of Ryan. Permanent custody may be a bit more challenging, especially if Ryan's Father contests, but Tad said he'd get to that after you're awarded temporary custody."

"That's great. So, we don't need to worry."

"Yes, I suppose." Richard frowned.

"There's something else?"

"I also wanted to talk to you about Ryan." Richard said. "It's become obvious to me that Ryan needs a bit of help academically. It troubles me to think that as bright as Rory is that she would allow her Son to fall so far behind in school, but that is what has happened."

"Dad, I don't understand. What are you saying?" Lorelai wondered.

"Lorelai, I want to help." Richard admitted. "I can see that Ryan's a bright boy, but he needs a little direction and guidance."

"And you think Luke and I can't provide that?" Lorelai said with a defensive tone.

"No, I think you and Luke are doing a fine job with him, but you can't do it all alone." Richard explained. "I merely want to offer my assistance with Ryan's academic career. I know you won't agree to a private school or tutor right now, so I'd like to offer a compromise."

"And that would be….?"

"Me" Richard stated as Lorelai's eyes widened slightly in surprise. "I'd like to help Ryan with his reading. I can pick him up from school and spend an hour or so with him. It would give you and Luke a break and allow you to finish up your work in the afternoon."

"Wow, Dad. I don't really know what to say." Lorelai said as she thought about her Dad's idea. "I think that's great. In fact, I think it would really benefit Ryan to have one on one help. You'd really be willing to come here and do that?"

"Absolutely." Richard nodded. "Let's start next week on Monday."

"Great. Could you come over to the house at four O'clock?"

"That will be fine."

"Good. Thanks, Dad." Lorelai smiled.

"You're welcome, Lorelai."

"Now, how about some coffee and one of Sookie's pastries?"

"Do you have to ask?" Richard grinned.

XXXXX

Lorelai closed the door to Ryan's bedroom and joined Luke in the living room.

"Ryan's asleep" Lorelai said and sat down next to Luke before he put his arm around her.

"Good" Luke grunted and slowly moved his hand down her arm and gently brushed against her breast. "Now I can have my way with you." He whispered.

"Luke!" Lorelai gasped and pushed his hand away.

"What? Come on…you make it hard to keep it child appropriate sometimes, especially with some of these outfits you wear. You know…it's not really right that a Grandmother should dress this way." Luke grinned and touched the neckline of her form fitting sweater.

"Luke" Lorelai groaned in protest. "We need to discuss something. Please control yourself for a minute."

"Fine" Luke agreed and gently rested his arm around her again.

"Ryan talked to Rory on the phone this afternoon."

"Really? How'd that go?"

"Ok, I guess." Lorelai shrugged.

"Ryan didn't say anything at dinner, I'm surprised." Luke frowned.

"Well, that's because I told him I needed to talk to you first."

"About what?"

"Rory wants to come visit Ryan."

"Oh" Luke frowned again.

"Yeah" Lorelai sighed.

"What do you think?"

"I don't know." Lorelai shrugged. "Ryan misses Rory a lot, but I'm apprehensive about Rory coming here. I don't want her to think she can continue her ways and we'll take care of Ryan. I mean, we will take care of Ryan regardless of what happens, but if Rory can just drop by when she likes, she may never change."

"I agree." Luke nodded.

"But it's also got to be really hard for Ryan to be away from Rory. I don't think they've ever really spent a night apart let alone this time. I'm inclined to let Rory visit for the weekend as long as she doesn't cause any trouble."

Luke thought for a moment and took a deep breath before reaching his conclusion. "I think it's a good idea. Ryan's a resilient little guy, but I feel horrible that he misses his Mom so much. If Rory shows up out of control, we'll send her away. I'm for the visit if she doesn't do more harm."

"Ok, then I'll tell Ryan and have him call her back tomorrow." Lorelai said. "Are we crazy for doing this?"

"No, I don't think so." Luke shrugged before grinning wickedly at her. "You know what we're crazy for doing?"

"What?" Lorelai asked skeptically.

"Sitting down here on the couch when we could be upstairs fooling around."


	12. Chapter 12

XXXXX

Ryan was sitting on the front porch steps when Luke pulled his truck into the driveway. Luke slowly got out and walked over to where Ryan sat.

"What's going on, Ryan?" Luke asked and sat down next to his Grandson.

"Not much. Just waiting for Mom." Ryan sighed. Last weekend he and Rory had talked about her visiting this weekend. Luke and Lorelai remained a bit hesitant about the visit, but hoped Rory would be in better shape. Plus, they felt bad that Ryan was having such a rough time and thought a visit with Rory would cheer him up.

Luke knew how much Ryan was looking forward to this weekend, even though the boy tried to hide it. Rory told him she'd be there after he got home from school. It was almost dinner time and Ryan was still sitting outside waiting for her.

"Maybe we should go inside and start making dinner. She probably just got stuck in traffic or something. Traffic is always bad on Fridays." Luke suggested.

"No, I want to wait right here." Ryan insisted.

"It's getting cold out. Are you sure?"

"Yes" Ryan insisted.

"Ok" Luke shrugged and stood up. "I'll be inside if you need anything."

"Ok" Ryan said and continued to stare down the driveway.

Luke sighed and walked into the house in search of Lorelai. He found her looking through a magazine as she sat on the couch in the living room.

"Hey" Luke said and kissed her forehead.

"Hi" Lorelai responded with a worried expression on her face. "Is Ryan still out there?"

"Sitting on the front steps." Luke nodded.

"I don't think she's coming, Luke." Lorelai said and threw the magazine on the coffee table. "She should have been here hours ago."

"She still has some time before the day is over. Maybe she's just running late."

"I called a couple hours ago and she didn't answer the phone. If she was on the road she would have been here by now." Lorelai explained. "Ryan was looking forward to her visit and now he's going to be crushed. I don't like this, Luke. Rory keeps hurting that little boy and it breaks my heart."

"Do you want me to talk to him and break the bad news or give it more time?"

"It's going to be horrible either way."

"Let's wait until dinner time. At least that way we can get him in the house." Luke decided. "Any thoughts on dinner?"

"It should consist of food."

"Right" Luke nodded and went into the kitchen.

Luke set the table once dinner was finished and called for Lorelai and Ryan to join him.

"Ryan's still outside." Lorelai sighed.

Luke nodded and went outside to find Ryan sitting in exactly the same spot with his arms crossed over his knees.

"Ryan, it's time for dinner." Luke said and held the front door open, expecting Ryan to comply.

"I'm waiting for Mom. I don't want to eat right now." Ryan grunted without looking up.

"Dinner is going to get cold. Come inside and eat."

"No" Ryan said firmly.

"Fine" Luke said and went back inside. He walked to the kitchen and threw his arms in the air. "He won't come in."

Lorelai shook her head and sighed. "So…you're just going to let him stay out there."

"I don't know what else to do. I could physically drag him in here."

"Let's eat outside." Lorelai suggested. "I'd rather do that than have Ryan starve out there."

"Ok, let's dish this up." Luke agreed and began to put food on plates. He carefully carried his plate and Ryan's as Lorelai led the way and held the door for him. Luke sat down next to Ryan and handed him his plate. "Here"

"Silverware" Lorelai said and handed a knife and fork to Ryan as she sat down on the other side of him.

"Thank you." Ryan mumbled and slowly began to eat his dinner. Luke and Lorelai didn't say a word as they began to eat.

"How was school today?" Luke asked in an effort to lighten the mood.

"Fine" Ryan shrugged. "I got my history test back."

"How'd you do?"

"I got a B" Ryan shrugged again.

"Good job" Lorelai smiled and rubbed his shoulder.

"Most of the other kids got A's though."

"So?" Luke asked.

"I'm the stupid kid." Ryan said sadly.

"That is absolutely not true." Lorelai quickly corrected him.

"Who's telling you that?" Luke demanded. "Is that Sam kid bothering you again?"

"No one told me that." Ryan said and looked down at his plate. "The other kids always brag about getting good grades. I don't get the same scores as them."

"What does your teacher say?" Lorelai wondered.

"She says I'm doing good."

"Then that's what you believe." Lorelai insisted. "You are doing good, Ryan. You are a determined, driven, intelligent young man and no one should make you believe anything different."

"That's right." Luke agreed. "We love you very much and nothing any of those other kids can say will change that. Don't let those kids bully you into thinking you're less than you are. You are a gift to your Grandmother and I. I hope you know that."

"That's true." Lorelai agreed and pulled Ryan close for a hug. "We love that you're here with us."

"And, if you want some help studying on your next test, you can always ask either of us. Your Grandma is pretty darn smart."

"And so is Grandpa." Lorelai added. "Plus, I'm sure Gramps or Gran could help too. Gramps is already doing reading with you, so you could probably ask him questions about other stuff."

"Ok" Ryan agreed. "I just wish I could get it on my own."

"I understand that feeling." Lorelai nodded. "It's not always about getting an A on every test or homework assignment. It's about what you learn and take away from it. When your Mom was in high school, I went to business school at night. See, I had this dream of owning my own Inn one day, but I needed to go to school to understand more about running a business. It was really tough sometimes because I worked and had other responsibilities. I didn't have an unlimited amount of study time and I didn't get all A's on tests and homework. Sure, I didn't always feel good about a grade I was unsatisfied with, but I learned something in the process. I completed my degree and now my dream came true; I have the Dragonfly. So, it's not always about a grade, Ryan. It's about what you learn and how it helps you develop as a person."

"Wow. Do you think I could do something like that some day?" Ryan shrugged and looked down at his plate.

"Absolutely." Lorelai nodded firmly. "You can do anything you put your mind to."

XXXXX

After they had finished dinner, Luke and Lorelai went back inside and cleaned up the kitchen.

"It's dark out now. Should I bring Ryan in or let him sit out there a bit longer?" Luke wondered.

"I don't know." Lorelai sighed. "Ryan sitting out there reminds me so much of Rory as a child."

"Waiting for Christopher?"

Lorelai nodded. "It didn't happen too often because Christopher hardly ever visited. When it did, Rory usually gave up on him after a few hours delay."

"He's a fool for what he did." Luke shook his head. "How could anyone not want to be around their own child? I loved Rory and she wasn't even related to me."

"Christopher isn't half the man you are." Lorelai said. "He really missed out, but that's his loss."

"So I should probably go get Ryan." Luke suggested and Lorelai nodded in agreement. She followed him to the front door and sighed when she saw Ryan asleep on the front steps, leaning against the porch railing."

Luke bent down and scooped Ryan up, carefully adjusting him in his arms. Lorelai held the door open as Luke carried him inside and into his bedroom before gently laying him down on the bed. Lorelai took his shoes off and covered him with a blanket before kissing him goodnight.

XXXXX

Luke opened the door to Ryan's room and stopped as he heard the sound of crying. Ryan suddenly stopped when he realized Luke was in the room and tried to cover it up as Luke sat on Ryan's bed.

"Hey" Luke said and touched Ryan's shoulder.

"Go away" Ryan said in a raspy voice. "I don't feel good."

"Ryan" Luke sighed. "It's ok to feel bad about last night, bud."

Ryan rolled over and looked up at Luke with tears in his eyes. "Why didn't she come, Grandpa?"

"I don't know. We can try calling her again today."

"Did I do something wrong? Does she not want to see me?"

"Hey…" Luke said and pulled Ryan into a hug since he couldn't answer Ryan's question. "Your Mom loves you, bud. She must have mixed up the dates or something."

"She's never going to come." Ryan concluded.

"We don't know that." Luke assured him. "Grandma will call today and try to find out what happened, ok?"

"Ok" Ryan agreed and hugged Luke tighter.

"I love you, bud."

"I love you too, Grandpa."

"How about some pancakes?" Luke smiled and patted Ryan's back.

"With chocolate chips?" Ryan asked hopefully.

"You inherited far too many bad eating habits from your Grandmother." Luke grumbled and walked toward the kitchen.

XXXXX

Lorelai took a deep breath before picking up the phone and dialing.

"Hello?" A female voice said on the other end.

"Oh, uh, sorry, I think I have the wrong number." Lorelai said at the unfamiliarity of the voice.

"Who are you looking for?"

"Rory Gilmore."

"Oh, is this Lorelai?"

"Yes" Lorelai frowned.

"This is Julia…Rory's friend."

"Oh! Julia!" Lorelai exclaimed when she finally realized who she was talking to. "Hey, is Rory there?"

"Yes, she is. I'm assuming you want to talk to her?"

"Yes, but first I want to talk to you. Did you know Rory was supposed to visit Ryan this weekend?"

"Yeah, I knew that, but she couldn't make it last night. I was planning to call you actually." Julia slowly admitted. "I was supposed to drop her off at the bus station, but she wasn't here. I went looking for her and found her in one of her usual hang out bars. She was so drunk I just brought her back here and tossed her into bed. She's still sleeping it off right now. I'm sorry I didn't call you; Ryan must be really upset."

"He is." Lorelai sighed. "It's not your fault though, Julia. Thank you for looking out for Rory. I appreciate it."

"Do you think it's still ok for Rory to visit if I can get her out there today?" Julia asked hopefully. "I think her bus ticket is still good; if not I'll buy her another. I was planning to get Rory out of bed, pour a gallon of coffee into her, and put her on a bus. She should be fine by the time she gets to Stars Hollow."

Lorelai paused for a moment while contemplating the idea. "I don't know, Julia. Is she really going to be sober by then?"

"She usually is. Plus, she already took the whole weekend off work. I've got her bag packed and waiting by the front door."

"Ok" Lorelai agreed. "One condition though…she has to get off the bus in Woodbury. I'll meet her there. I want to see what condition she's in before Ryan sees her. If she's not ok, I'm sending her right back."

"That's totally understandable." Julia agreed. "I'll go get her up right now and give you a call as soon as I drop her off at the bus station."

"Thank you, Julia."

"You're welcome. Bye, Lorelai."

XXXXX

Lorelai parked her Jeep just down the street from the Woodbury bus stop and waited. When the bus finally arrived, she held her breath until Rory stepped off. She looked exhausted, but spotted the Jeep quickly and began walking toward it. Lorelai got out of the car and waved at Rory.

"Hi" Lorelai said as Rory stopped in front of her.

"Hi" Rory sighed.

"How are you feeling?"

"Mom" Rory sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Geez, I'm just asking. Are you ok enough to see Ryan?"

"If I wasn't I wouldn't be here."

"Alright." Lorelai nodded and reached out to take Rory's bag. "Let's get going then."

Rory nodded and got into the Jeep after Lorelai put her bag in.

"Ryan's really looking forward to seeing you." Lorelai said as she drove down the road.

"He's probably upset I didn't show up last night." Rory said and looked down as she fidgeted with her hands. "I'm really sorry about that."

"Ryan's the one you need to apologize to, not me."

"How is he?"

"He misses you a lot." Lorelai said and shrugged. "He met Richard and Emily a couple weeks ago. They really like him."

"Good. Is Ryan doing ok? Is he going to school?"

"He's going to Stars Hollow Elementary and is doing pretty good. He's adjusting fairly well to everything." Lorelai lied.

"Good. I'm glad." Rory nodded as they drove through Stars Hollow. "Nothing's changed much." Rory observed.

"No, not really." Lorelai sighed. "Just so you know…I didn't tell Ryan you were coming today. He was pretty crushed after you didn't show up last night. I didn't want to get his hopes up again, so this is going to be a surprise for him to see you."

"Ok"

"Also, you may want to keep a low profile around town. Maybe you should just focus on Ryan this weekend."

"That's probably best." Rory agreed as Lorelai slowed the Jeep to a stop in the driveway.

Rory couldn't help but smile a bit as she got out and looked at the house. "It's been a long time." She said after grabbing her bag and following Lorelai into the house.

"Ryan!" Lorelai called as soon as she shut the front door behind them.

"I'm cooking with Grandpa!" Ryan called. A flash of curiosity crossed Rory's face as she looked at Lorelai.

"Take a break for a second. There is someone I want you to see in here." Lorelai called and waited as she heard Luke helping Ryan finish what he was doing before sending him toward the front door.

"Yeah?" Ryan asked and looked up at Lorelai as she stood in the entryway, blocking his view of Rory. She simply stepped aside to reveal Rory standing behind her.

"Mom!" Ryan exclaimed and quickly threw his arms around her waist. "You're here" He said and held her tightly.

"Hi buddy. I missed you so much." Rory said and held him tightly too.

**To Be Continued….**


	13. Chapter 13

It was late at night when Rory opened the door to the freezer and peered inside. The rummaged around for a bit until she located what she was looking for. She pulled a bottle of chilled Vodka out and shut the freezer door. She looked over her shoulder and listened to hear if anyone was up before she opened the lid on the bottle. It was about three quarters full, so Rory got a glass from the cupboard and some orange juice from the refrigerator. She took everything into the living room and sat on the couch before pouring a big drink. One drink quickly led to another and another until she got bored. It hadn't been enough though and Rory went back to the kitchen in search of something else to quench her thirst.

After a thorough search of the kitchen, Rory returned to the living room with an assortment of bottles, most of which was wine. She was a little disappointed in the selection, but her Mother had never been one to keep a large inventory of liquor around. Lorelai had done most of her drinking socially or purchased liquor for a big party, not just for the sake of having it around.

Rory sighed as she set the bottles on the coffee table. Lorelai had made up the couch for her, but it was still a little awkward to be sleeping in the open like that. Rory had already changed into her pajamas and told herself she'd clean all the bottles up before everyone woke up in the morning.

After Rory's thirst had been satisfied, she lay back on the couch and closed her eyes. Her vision was blurry and she told herself a few minutes of rest would clear her mind.

XXXXX

Luke finished getting ready after taking a shower and walked back into the bedroom. He walked over to the bed and bent down before kissing Lorelai's cheek.

"mmm" Lorelai sighed and opened her eyes before smiling at him. "Morning."

"Hi" Luke smiled and brushed her hair out of her face. "I didn't want to wake you."

"It's ok. I should get up anyway." Lorelai said and began to get out of bed. "Will you grab my robe?"

Luke quickly grabbed her robe from the closet and raised his eyebrows as he turned around and saw her standing there in a short silky pink nightie. Luke sucked in a breath as he closed the distance between them and held the robe out to her.

"What? You've seen me in this a thousand times." Lorelai rolled her eyes.

"And it never gets old." Luke breathed.

"That's why I'm putting the robe on." Lorelai smiled and tied her robe closed. "Shall we go downstairs, Grandpa?" Lorelai quipped and smirked at him.

"Let's." Luke nodded and opened their bedroom door. He slowly crept down the stairs with Lorelai following until he came to a sudden stop on the landing. Lorelai wasn't paying close attention and practically ran into him before stopping herself.

"Luke, what?" Lorelai said before her eyes saw what had stopped Luke.

Luke's hand tightened around the railing as he saw Rory, passed out on the couch with half a dozen bottles on the coffee table. He clenched his jaw and descended the rest of the stairs before quickly beginning to clean the mess up.

Lorelai stayed frozen on the stairs as she took in the scene. Her mind told her this must be the reality of Rory's addiction, but her heart dropped out of her chest in despair. Lorelai's precious, sweat, thoughtful girl was drunk and passed out on the couch. She thought of how horrible it all was, but then suddenly didn't want to think about it at all. She wanted it to just go away; to go out of her head completely. Then she realized this was a reality for Ryan. Poor Ryan who had absolutely no control over any of this. Lorelai was scared to think about how many times Ryan had woken up and found his Mother in the living room lying on the couch flat out drunk. Lorelai closed her eyes and tried to wish it away. Her own childhood had been far short of a fairytale, but it hadn't been nearly as bad as all this.

"Lorelai" Luke said and snapped her out of her trance.

"What? Sorry" Lorelai said and shook her head.

"I asked if you could help with some of this."

"Oh, yeah, sorry."

"It's ok." Luke said and went into the kitchen to dispose of the bottles. The door to Ryan's room opened while Luke still had the bottles in his arms. Luke froze and Ryan frowned at Luke.

"Grandpa?" Ryan asked and walked into the kitchen.

Luke hesitated and Ryan wandered into the living room before Luke could stop him. Luke let the bottles clank on the kitchen counter before he dashed after Ryan.

Ryan took in the scene in the living room before becoming angry. He looked between his Mom and the bottles and shook his head.

"Ryan, hun." Lorelai said and reached out to touch his shoulder before Ryan swatted her hand away.

"She said she was going to quit." Ryan said with hurt in his voice. "She lied to me again. Why does she do this!"

"Ryan" Luke tried to say as Rory began to wake up.

"What's going on?" Rory frowned and rubbed her face.

"You lied to me!" Ryan yelled.

"Ryan, don't yell." Rory said and covered her eyes. "I've got a headache."

"You always have a headache after you drink and you drink all the time! You told me you'd stop!"

"It's more complicated than that." Rory said. "You're just a child, Ryan."

Ryan felt the anger well up inside himself until it finally burst. He quickly grabbed a few bottles off the coffee table and took them into the kitchen as Lorelai ran after him. Ryan tossed an empty bottle into the trash, breaking it in the process, before he started to pour the other two bottles down the sink.

"Ryan" Lorelai said softly.

"If she won't stop drinking it, I'll get rid of it. She can't drink it if it's all gone." Ryan explained as tears rolled down his face.

"Ryan" Lorelai sighed and stood next to him, putting her hand on his shoulder. She let him finish pouring the wine down the sink before she took the bottles and put them in the trash. Lorelai stood face to face with him and looked down at him before he buried his face in her robe and began to cry. Lorelai held him gently and stroked his hair until he calmed down a little.

Meanwhile, in the living room Luke looked down at Rory as she sat up on the couch. "Do you not see how much this hurts him?" Luke frowned. "Rory, you're harming your Son. Do you even realize that? Do you understand what this will do to his life? He'll carry this for the rest of his life, Rory. He may not be able to recover from it. Could you live with yourself if you ruined his life from the start?"

"Shut up, Luke." Rory fumed. "This isn't about you. You're not my father and you have no say in any of this."

Luke clenched his jaw as her words stung him. "I'm taking care of that little boy, so I certainly do have a say in what happens to him. I love him! Do you even understand what that's like? Do you think of anything other than yourself?"

"I take care of him." Rory insisted. "I've taken care of him so far, don't think you could do any better job. You're not his parent; I am."

"I'm being more of a parent than you are right now." Luke scoffed. "I'm not the one passed out drunk while my child sleeps in the next room."

"You're always trying to prove how much better you are than the rest of us!" Rory yelled. "Sorry Luke, but we're not all perfect like you. Life is hard for some of us. I'm doing the best I can, but that's never going to be good enough for you! Screw you!" Rory fumed and stood up before stumbling toward the front door. Ryan walked out of the kitchen with Lorelai behind him and stopped at the scene unfolding.

Rory tripped and reached out to brace herself against the wall as Luke quickly grabbed her arm to help.

"Let me go!" Rory yelled and turned around. She slapped Luke across the face before stepped back and standing up straight.

Luke didn't say a word, but nodded and turned around before going upstairs and shutting the door to his and Lorelai's bedroom.

"Rory, that's enough." Lorelai insisted. "Go take a shower and pull yourself together."

Rory sighed and did as she was instructed while Lorelai and Ryan stood stunned in the living room.

"I'll clean this up." Lorelai said and started picking up the rest of the mess Rory had made. Ryan quickly joined in the cleanup process and took the last bottles into the kitchen. "Ryan you don't have to do this." Lorelai said.

"I'm used to it." Ryan shrugged.

_You shouldn't be._ Lorelai thought to herself. "How about we go to Luke's for breakfast?"

"Ok" Ryan said and cheered up a bit.

"Go change and brush your teeth. I'll do the same and go check on Grandpa."

Lorelai crept upstairs and slowly opened the door to her and Luke's bedroom. She found Luke sitting on the edge of his side of the bed with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Luke, are you ok?" Lorelai whispered as she sat down next to him.

"Not really." Luke grunted.

Lorelai wrapped her arm around his waist and leaned against him. "I'm sorry about the things Rory said. It wasn't right for her to behave that way."

"No, but she was drunk, so she wasn't herself."

"True." Lorelai agreed. "That doesn't make it hurt any less. I'm partly to blame. I should have made sure we didn't have any alcohol in the house before she came. I wasn't thinking about that."

"It will all be ok, Lorelai." Luke insisted. "I just need a couple minutes to pull myself together."

"Ryan's getting ready to head out for breakfast. I thought we'd go to Luke's."

"I'll join you." Luke nodded and got up to get ready.

XXXXX

Lorelai and Ryan returned from breakfast at Luke's later that morning. Ryan went into his room to work on homework while Lorelai found Rory sitting on the back porch.

Lorelai sat down next to Rory and handed her a to-go cup of coffee she'd brought from Luke's. "It's the good stuff." Lorelai joked and pulled two aspirin pills out of her pocket and handed them to Rory. "For the headache."

"Thanks" Rory nodded and swallowed the pills before drinking a sip of coffee. "It's better than I remember, if that's possible."

"I think we take Luke's coffee for granted until we've been deprived of it for a while." Lorelai added. She wanted to jump all over Rory and yell at her for the previous night's events, but something stopped her. Maybe it was because Luke and Ryan were in the garage and would most likely hear the yelling or that she just didn't have the energy to do it right now. "So, Rory, what happened last night?"

"Wasn't it obvious to you?" Rory sighed.

"Not really. I mean, I know you got drunk, but I don't understand why." Lorelai questioned and looked directly at Rory.

"It's hard to explain." Rory shrugged and looked down at the ground while fidgeting nervously with her hands. "I didn't mean to…it just happened."

"But you and Ryan had such a good afternoon and evening together. I don't understand what made you drink after that."

"The drinking is automatic now; I'm dependent upon it. It doesn't always matter if it's a good day or a bad day, I do it anyway. I tried not to drink, but I can't help it."

"You couldn't help yourself for one night, Rory?" Lorelai said with frustration in her voice. "You're only here for one night and you can't resist for just one night? Not even for Ryan?"

"I know." Rory shook her head. "I just can't take the pressure though. It's so much sometimes. I try to be perfect, to be the best for Ryan, but then I slip up. I make mistakes or I say the wrong thing and I can't get over it."

"You know, Rory, you don't have to pretend with me. You can be yourself, be who you really are. You don't have to hide or be something you're not. It's ok, Rory." Lorelai said quietly.

"There are so many expectations." Rory admitted. "Not just from you, but from everyone. I'm not the same person I used to be and I feel bad because of it. I feel like you're ashamed of me."

Lorelai sighed and put her hand on Rory's knee, causing Rory to jump slightly at the contact. They had hardly stood close to each other, let alone touched each other. The contact was almost uncomfortable for both of them, but Lorelai did it anyway. "Rory, I'm not ashamed of you. I'm disappointed in your behavior, especially around Ryan, but I'm not ashamed. I really do love you and care deeply about you. I wish you'd see that. I'm not trying to punish you by having Ryan here. I'm trying to protect him."

"It feels like you're punishing me."

"Well, in a way I suppose it is a punishment; having something you love taken away." Lorelai said. "You've got to get a grip before Ryan comes back to live with you. Heck, you've got to be able to have a sober visit with him way before we even discuss him moving back in with you."

Rory nodded as she realized what that meant for her life. She sighed and looked down at the porch, noticing the pack of cigarettes and lighter she'd set down earlier. She slowly picked them up and pulled one cigarette out of the pack and hesitating before lighting it. "Is this ok?" Rory asked Lorelai as she held the lit cigarette to her lips.

"Not really, but I suppose it's what you came out here to do." Lorelai shrugged. "You realize how bad smoking is for you, right?"

"Yes, I know." Rory answered. "Like many things…it's hard to stop."

"When did you start? You didn't smoke before you ran away with Jess." Lorelai wondered.

Rory took another drag on the cigarette and thought before she answered. "I suppose it was about a year after Ryan was born. Jess had left and I was really stressed out. Jess smoked when he got stressed, so I thought I'd see what it did for me. I didn't like it at first, but eventually liked the feeling of relief it gave me. Now, I'm hooked."

"You should quit for Ryan's sake, if nothing else."

"I realize that Mom." Rory sighed as she began to get aggravated.

"Ok, ok, enough for now." Lorelai gave in. "I'll leave you alone with your cigarette. I think Ryan wants to talk with you when you're done. He's in the garage with Luke."

"Ok, thanks." Rory nodded.

XXXXX

**AN: Thanks so much for all the reviews! The next chapter will bring the conclusion of Rory's visit. Please, please, please review! Thanks!**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: I have to apologize to all of my readers for the long delay in updating! So sorry! Work has been very busy and I've been having a hard time with this chapter. This will be the last part of Rory's visit and then go into the aftermath. I hope you all enjoy and please leave a review when you're done. Thanks!**

XXXXX

Lorelai walked into the garage and smiled as she saw Luke and Ryan working on building a bird house.

"Looks good." Lorelai commented.

"Yeah, it's coming along." Luke nodded.

"Ryan, your Mom is out on the back porch. She asked me to come get you so she can talk to you."

"Ok" Ryan nodded and left.

"So, I had an interesting talk with Rory." Lorelai said and leaned closer to Luke.

"Yeah?"

"She actually admitted to being out of control with her drinking. I'm not sure if she fully realizes it, but at least she knows things are not completely in control. Maybe it's the first step to her getting some help."

"Really? Huh." Luke said and set down the tools he was using.

"You don't believe it?"

"Well, not entirely. I hope for the best and that you're right, but Rory's an alcoholic. I hate to say that, but it's a reality. It's going to take a lot of work for her to change. It will be a long term struggle."

"Yeah, but this might be the start." Lorelai suggested. "I've got to hope for the best, Luke."

"I know you do." Luke said and wrapped an arm around her before pulling her into his side and kissing her forehead.

XXXXX

Ryan walked around to the back porch and slowed his pace as he saw his Mom sitting on the porch steps drinking coffee. Rory looked up at him and smiled as he sat down.

"Hi" Rory said as Ryan nodded and propped his head on his hands, elbows resting on his knees. "What's up?"

"Grandma told me to come back here. She wanted to talk to Grandpa."

"Ok, you don't want to talk to me?" Rory asked.

"Not really." Ryan said and slouched further down on his elbows. "I'm mad at you."

"What?" Rory said, surprised at his honesty.

"You ruined this weekend. I wish you wouldn't have come at all." Ryan admitted.

"Ryan, I don't appreciate you talking to me like that. You need to change your attitude."

Ryan scoffed at her righteous tone. "I said I'm mad at you."

"I'm your Mother. You don't get to be a brat whenever you want to."

"I'm not being a brat." Ryan huffed.

"Ryan, stop." Rory insisted.

"No, you stop!" Ryan shouted and sprang to his feet. "Stop drinking and smoking!"

"Ryan, it's not so simple."

"Just stop! It is simple. You just stop!"

"Ryan" Rory said and stood to her feet in an attempt to calm Ryan down. She reached out to hug him, but Ryan went into a frenzy and began struggling against her and hitting her. "Ryan!" Rory shouted.

"Hey! What's going on here?" Luke said as he and Lorelai ran into the back yard. "Ryan" Luke said as he pulled the boy away from Rory.

"What did you say to him?" Lorelai asked Rory.

"Nothing. He just got upset and I tried to stop him." Rory explained. "I think you and Luke must be spoiling him too much because he's acting like a brat."

"Rory, I think you need to leave." Lorelai said as she became angry. "You obviously have no idea what you're doing to that little boy. Your bad habits are hurting him, Rory. If you can't see that and see that it makes him upset then it's time for you to leave."

"Fine; this weekend has been kind of a fiasco anyways." Rory said in a snotty tone and marched back into the house.

Luke hugged Ryan and pulled back to look down at him. "You ok, bud?"

"No" Ryan said honestly.

"I'll take her to the bus stop." Lorelai said before hugging Ryan and Luke. "Sorry about all this. We'll talk when I get back." She explained and went into the house.

XXXXX

Later that night Lorelai returned home after dropping Rory off at the bus station in Hartford. She threw her keys on a table in the entryway and hung up her coat before walking into the living room.

"Hey" Luke said and looked at her over the back of the couch.

"Hey" Lorelai said as she sank down next to him on the couch and instinctively snuggled into him. "Is Ryan asleep?"

"I think so. He didn't really want to talk after you and Rory left. I tried to talk to him; to explain what was happening, but he didn't want to hear it. I think Rory may have used up her last chance with him this time. Ryan's gone through a lot, Lorelai. I think he's finally had enough and just doesn't want to deal with her anymore."

Lorelai sighed and shook her head. "I feel so awful, Luke. Ryan doesn't deserve any of this. It makes me sick to see that my own precious baby girl is hurting her own baby. I don't know what to do or how to help."

"I don't think Rory should visit again." Luke answered firmly. "You know how much I love her, but we have to protect Ryan first and foremost. Second, I think we need to get things going with the lawyer your parents hired. I hate to say this, but it's time we do everything we can to legally protect Ryan."

"You're right." Lorelai agreed. "It's going to be really hard, but we have to do it for Ryan's sake."

"We do" Luke nodded.

"I'm going to go check on Ryan." Lorelai explained as she stood up from the couch and walked toward Ryan's bedroom. She slowly and quietly pushed open the bedroom door and frowned when she saw her Grandson curled up on the bed. He looked as though he had been crying, but tried to hide it as she sat on the edge of his bed. "Ryan? What's going on? Talk to me." Lorelai insisted as she reached out and gently rubbed his back.

"No" Ryan responded instantly.

"Ryan, it's not good to be so upset and keep it all bottled up inside. I know you're upset with your Mom. It's ok to talk to me about it." Lorelai insisted gently.

"She screwed everything up." Ryan huffed. "I tried to help her, but she wouldn't let me. Why is she doing this? Everything used to be ok with just the two of us, but now it's all messed up. What did I do wrong?"

"Sweetie, you didn't do anything wrong." Lorelai insisted and pulled him into her lap. She hesitated a moment before running her hand through the little boy's hair and decided to tell him the truth. "Ryan, I think you probably know what's been happening with your Mom, but maybe we should talk about it."

"She drinks too much." Ryan said solemnly. "She smokes a lot, too."

"Yes." Lorelai nodded, hating the reality of the situation. "Your Mom is an alcoholic. That's what they call her drinking problem. It's a hard thing and she really needs to get help for it. I think it's really important that you understand that you're not the cause of that. It's your Mom's problem, not yours. I know you're affected by it, but it's not your fault. It's not something you can fix either and neither can I or your Grandpa Luke. It's something your Mom has to handle on her own. Grandpa Luke and I are working on getting her some help, but it will take some time for things to get straightened out. I love you so much and I really don't like to see you hurt like this, so I'm going to do everything I can to make this better. OK?"

"I guess." Ryan sighed. "I just wish things weren't so messed up is all."

"I know you do. So do I." Lorelai agreed.

"Mom's not coming back for a long time, is she?" Ryan asked as Lorelai hugged him tighter.

"I don't know, but probably not."

"I don't want her too."

"What do you mean?" Lorelai wondered.

"I don't like seeing her like that. I want to wait until she gets better."

"Ok, but that might be a long time." Lorelai acknowledged. "I don't know how long it will take your Mom to get better."

"Then I won't see her for a long time." Ryan concluded before yawning. "I'm tired. Is it ok if I go to bed now?"

"Sure" Lorelai agreed reluctantly. She carefully got up and pulled the covers back before Ryan slid underneath them and closed his eyes. "Goodnight bud."

"night Grandma." He mumbled and closed his eyes tighter in an attempt to mask the fresh tears beginning to form.

Lorelai wanted to pull him close again and wipe away all his tears, but Ryan seemed determined to keep his feelings to himself the rest of the night. Lorelai sighed and tried to ignore the feeling of her heart breaking as she slowly left the room and shut the bedroom door behind her. She grimaced and walked back over to the couch where Luke was waiting for her.

"He's still so upset." She explained and sat down.

Luke put his arm around Lorelai and pulled her close before kissing her forehead. "I heard. I wish I could make him feel better, but I don't think there is much for me to do."

"We can keep Rory away from him." Lorelai said firmly.

Luke was about to say something, but there was suddenly a knock at the front door which startled them both.

"Now who the hell could that be?" Luke frowned as he got up and went to answer the door. He gripped the door knob harder than usual and opened the door before stopping dead in his tracks at the person standing before him. "Jess?" He whispered.

"Luke" Jess nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets. "We really need to talk."

"Who's there?" Lorelai asked as her own curiosity led her to the front door. 

"Lorelai" Jess said as he saw her.

Lorelai frowned and looked at him as if she were sizing him up for a fight. "Jess" She hissed.


	15. Chapter 15

"_Now who the hell could that be?" Luke frowned as he got up and went to answer the door. He gripped the door knob harder than usual and opened the door before stopping dead in his tracks at the person standing before him. "Jess?" He whispered. _

"_Luke" Jess nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets. "We really need to talk."_

"_Who's there?" Lorelai asked as her own curiosity led her to the front door.  
><em>

"_Lorelai" Jess said as he saw her. _

_Lorelai frowned and looked at him as if she were sizing him up for a fight. "Jess" She hissed._

"Lorelai, I've got to talk to you." Jess sounded desperate.

"Jess, you need to leave." She insisted.

"I can't. I've got to talk to you about Ryan. I need to see him." Jess pleaded.

Lorelai came through the front door so quickly she practically pushed Jess over. She grabbed his arm and pulled him through the front yard and behind the garage where they were out of sight. "You listen to me Jess because I'm only going to say this once. Ryan is sleeping is Rory's old bedroom and I don't want him to meet you like this. In fact, I think it's best if you don't meet him at all. You've never been there for him, so don't get off thinking you can come back and play Daddy now. Forget it. You've had your chance and you threw it away. Get out of here before I'm forced to do something I'll regret."

"He's my kid. You can't keep me from him forever." Jess protested as Luke walked up to them.

"Lorelai" He said, but stopped when he saw the fire in her eyes.

"Look, I know this is crazy for me to just show up like this." Jess shook his head. "I can't stop thinking about Ryan. I feel so guilty about what I did and now I want to make it right."

"You have really bad timing, Jess." Lorelai said. "Rory was just here for the weekend and totally screwed up. She really upset Ryan and I don't want anyone else hurting him."

"I'm not here to hurt him."

"That may not be your intention, but you're here for selfish reasons. You're thinking about how to ease your own conscience, not be a Father to Ryan. You had that opportunity and walked away from it. This is not the time to reconnect, so just walk away again."

"No, I can't do that." Jess insisted.

"You better." Lorelai stared at him. "I'm not allowing you in the house tonight or any time soon, so just forget it."

"Lorelai, please." Jess begged, but Lorelai just shook her head and walked away, leaving him and Luke standing there.

"Jess, this isn't a good time." Luke explained. "Rory's visit wasn't good and we've all still recovering. It's late, so you can stay at the apartment over the diner tonight. Stay there and don't cause any trouble. You and I will discuss this further in the morning."

"But, Luke"

"Jess, this isn't up for discussion tonight. Just go sleep and we'll talk tomorrow. The spare key's still above the door." Luke said and waved as he walked away.

Jess stood there a few minutes longer before finally turning and walking to his car. He got in and backed out of the driveway as Luke watched from the living room window.

"I so can't deal with this right now." Lorelai sighed and began to walk upstairs.

"Lorelai, we can't ignore him." Luke argued and followed her up the stairs.

"What if Ryan heard him or saw him?" Lorelai whispered as Luke shut the bedroom door.

"I don't think so."

"I just don't want to have to explain Jess to Ryan right now. We've got all we can handle with Rory. I just can't deal with this right now."

"I'll go talk to Jess." Luke offered. "I'll do it tonight so you don't have to deal with it."

Lorelai huffed at his accusation. "It's not that I don't want to deal with Jess, it's just that I'm emotionally exhausted, Luke."

"I know." Luke nodded. "I'm not trying to be a jackass here; I'm just offering to help. I know how to communicate with Jess."

"I know. I'm sorry to bite your head off." Lorelai sighed.

"It's ok." Luke nodded. "Can we discuss our plan with Jess?"

"Our plan?" Lorelai frowned and sat on the edge of the bed. "I don't know. How about Jess just goes away?"

"That may work for a little while, but I don't think he'll go away forever. He might be serious about being in Ryan's life."

"Yeah, but do we want that?"

"I do." Luke nodded. "I'm pissed that Jess left Ryan and Rory, but I don't think we should keep Jess away from Ryan forever. We need to be open to the idea of them meeting."

"Is that really our place? Shouldn't Rory be involved in that decision?" Lorelai frowned. "As screwed up as she is, she is Ryan's Mother and has some say in his life."

"True, but we're basically in charge of Ryan now. I'll talk to Jess and see what he thinks, but I think Jess and I need to reestablish our relationship before he meets Ryan."

"That's a good start. You can make sure he's sincere about being a Father."

"Or if he's just wanting to see Ryan to pacify his own guilt."

"Ok, why don't you go talk with Jess and see what his true intentions are. We can figure the rest out after that." Lorelai said.

"Sounds good. See you in a bit." Luke said and kissed her before leaving.

When Luke arrived at the diner a few minutes later, the lights were on in the apartment. He unlocked the front door and quickly walked up the stairs. Jess was sitting on the couch with his arms crossed over his chest, staring at the coffee table.

"Hey" Luke nodded and sat down in a chair near the couch.

"Hey" Jess said and looked at Luke. "Luke, I really want to meet Ryan."

"Ok" Luke nodded. "Not tonight or tomorrow. Jess, this is a big deal."

"I know that. That's why I'm here." Jess stressed.

"But you really screwed up by leaving Ryan. You could have been involved in his life all along, but you chose to walk away."

"I was messed up, Luke. We've gone over this before."

"So why do you really want to see Ryan now? Is it guilt or what?"

"I should have found Ryan sooner. I feel horrible for not being a part of his life. I've got to get involved now and make an impact while there is still time."

"I guess I can understand that. However, you're missing one really important thing; Ryan doesn't have any idea who his Father is. He knows you left when he was a baby, but that's about it. He doesn't even know your name."

Jess tried to hide the hurt in his eyes as he thought about what Ryan had been told.

"It's going to be a big shock to Ryan if you just show up out of the blue, Jess. He's been really close to Rory his whole life, but now he's dealing with the disappointment and hurt her addiction is causing. Lorelai and I both feel like Ryan needs to have a stabilizing force in his life for a while before you meet him. We might start by telling him who his Father is, but that's a ways off. First, Lorelai and I need to get some sort of guardianship or custody of Ryan. You're his biological Father, so you still have some rights too. I'm a little concerned about that actually."

"Why?"

"Well, I think that Lorelai and I need to raise Ryan on our own for a little while and I can't have you jeopardize that by challenging us in court."

"You're asking me to step aside in exchange for a promise that I'll someday be allowed to be in Ryan's life?"

"Basically, yes." Luke nodded.

"No" Jess snapped. "If Rory can't take care of Ryan, I will."

"Jess, don't do this. Just let Lorelai and I take care of him; it's for the best."

"You don't know that." Jess insisted. "I'm married and have a family. I know how to take care of a kid now."

"But he doesn't know you." Luke pleaded.

"He didn't know you and Lorelai until a month or so ago."

"We never ran out on him; you did." Luke pointed out.

Jess sighed and shook his head. "Luke, I screwed up. I want a second chance with Ryan."

"No" Luke insisted. "You can't just come back here and demand this. It's not fair to Ryan. You left him and made your choice a long time ago. You can't just take it all back now."

"Then I guess we're going to fight this out in court." Jess stood up and began to walk toward the door. "I'm not giving up."

"Jess" Luke sighed, but Jess just shook his head and walked out the door. "Crap" Luke whispered and realized what a mess he'd just created.


	16. Chapter 16

A few days later, Lorelai and Luke met with Emily, Richard, and an attorney they had hired for Ryan's custody case. Lorelai had been anxious all day and knew this discussion wasn't going to be easy. Luke tried to be calm and held her hand as they sat on the couch.

"I think I need to inform you all about a conversation I had with Jess; Ryan's Father." Luke began as Richard passed around a tray of martinis.

"You went to see him?" Richard asked.

"No, he showed up at our house." Lorelai answered. "I tried to make him go away, but he was pretty persistent."

"So, I talked to him." Luke added. "He wanted to see Ryan right then and there, but we didn't think it was a good idea. Jess can't just show up and start demanding things when he left Ryan so long ago. It's not that easy."

"So make him go away." Emily blurted out.

"He seems pretty serious about being in Ryan's life." Luke explained. "I'm not sure he's going to allow Lorelai and I to get custody of Ryan."

"What does he want? Money? How much could we give him to make him go away?"

"I don't think he wants money." Luke shook his head. "Jess doesn't really care about money all that much."

"Everyone can be bought for some amount of money." Emily insisted.

"What does this mean, legally?" Richard asked their attorney, Ben Faulk.

"It complicates things." Ben answered. "If Jess, Ryan's Father, steps forward and seeks custody, he may have priority over Luke and Lorelai. He is the boy's biological Father and as such does have rights. You may be able to challenge his ability to parent the boy, but it could be a nasty battle. You're already going to be saying some brutal things about Rory's inability to be a proper Mother. Let me ask you this; what is Jess' economic and family situation?"

"He's married and has two daughters. He's a writer and owns a publishing company in Philadelphia."

"So, he's in good standing with the law and is otherwise an upstanding citizen?"

"He's had some drug problems in the past, but claims to have moved on and is fine now. From what he's said, he has his life together." Luke explained.

"That works in his favor, but we could argue that he has the propensity to slip back into that old way of life. It may get ugly, but we can do it." Ben nodded.

"What if I talk Jess into keeping his mouth shut and staying out of court?"

"It might make things easier, but the judge will ask if we've tried to contact him. Jess will have to relinquish his parental rights for you to get permanent custody of Ryan."

"But he abandoned Ryan years ago. Doesn't that have any weight?" Lorelai asked.

"Some, but if Jess is willing to step forward and want the boy, he's first in line." Ben explained. "As a Father, he has first rights. Then, you and Grandparents have secondary rights. I know it sounds unjust when you two are the ones wanting to take care of Ryan, but that's the way it is."

"Jess is just doing this out of spite." Lorelai spat as Luke squeezed her hand. "He knows losing Ryan would devastate me."

"Why would he do that? Whatever did you do to him?" Emily wondered out loud.

"I never approved of him while he and Rory were dating."

"So? That's not a good enough reason to take Ryan away from you. This is ridiculous!" Emily sighed. "Ben, can you just do whatever it takes to keep Ryan where he is? I don't care how much it costs."

"I wish it were that simple, Emily." Ben said. "I'll pursue every avenue, but it will really come down to what the judge decides."

XXXXX

Luke had been waiting anxiously all day for the attorney to call and update him and Lorelai on their custody case. He had filed all the necessary paperwork, which included sending a letter to Jess. Everyone wanted to leave the letter out, but the attorney warned them that Jess could challenge their custody later, so it was best to get the battle over with now.

Luke had been at the diner all day in an attempt to occupy his time and keep his mind busy, but it was of little use. Finally, a distraction arrived in the form of Ryan entering through the door and marching up to the counter before throwing his backpack on the counter top.

"Careful." Luke suggested.

"Sorry, it's heavy today; lots of homework." Ryan explained and smiled sheepishly.

Luke nodded and got Ryan a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream on top, not marshmallows; just the way Ryan liked it. It had been almost a week since Ryan started walking from school to the diner on his own after school. He said none of the other kids his age got picked up at the school door and insisted he was old enough. He'd even explained how he took the subway home from school in New York on more than one occasion, much to Luke and Lorelai's horror. Lorelai and Luke had discussed the idea before finally allowing Ryan to walk by himself. They figured it would be ok since Stars Hollow was safe and the school was a mere two blocks from the diner. Still, Luke worried and watched the clock each day to make sure nothing had happened. Luke finished preparing the hot chocolate and set it down in front of Ryan.

"Thanks, Grandpa." Ryan smiled before bending over to sip the hot chocolate, getting whipped cream on his nose, as usual. Luke tried to hide the smile on his face as he tossed a napkin in front of Ryan.

"So, how was school today? The usual?" Luke inquired.

"Yeah, it was good."

"Good." Luke nodded. "Is Dean's kid…what's his name? Sam? Is he still bothering you?" Luke said seriously and leaned over the counter.

"No, he's been nice." Ryan explained. "We played baseball today at recess and he picked me for his team. I don't know why though; I'm not very good. I dropped the ball and the other team scored a run."

"I can practice with you, if you want. I may be getting old, but I know a thing or two about baseball. We could toss the ball around this weekend."

"Sure" Ryan nodded. "It's kind of embarrassing to drop the ball, but no one got mad. I should probably get better soon or they might."

"It's just a game." Luke told him. "If those kids really get that upset over it, I'll talk to them. You guys are just kids and it's supposed to be for fun."

"Ok" Ryan agreed an noticed Luke checking his watch for the third time since he'd entered the diner. "Are you waiting for something, Grandpa? Is everything ok? You keep acting funny and Grandma was saying weird stuff this morning."

"Grandma says weird stuff every morning." Luke huffed.

"Yeah, but not that stuff. She seemed like it was a special day or something?" Ryan frowned.

Sometimes Luke wished Ryan wasn't so astute to pick up on little things like that, but he also knew that sooner or later Ryan should know the truth about what was going on. "It sort of is." Luke said and leaned against the counter. He was thankful that only a few customers were in the diner and none of the town busy bodies were around or he'd have pulled Ryan upstairs to talk. "Your Grandma and I are waiting to hear back from an attorney."

"Is something bad happening?" Ryan worried.

"Not really." Luke assured him. "See, your Grandma and I love you very much. We really like having you here and want you to stay for a long time. Heck, we may not every let you leave; not even for college." Luke explained and smiled at his little joke. "He hired an attorney to help us get custody of you. That means that you're legally allowed to stay with us and your Grandma and I are legally responsible for you. See, normally parents have that responsibility, but because your Mom is sick right now, she can't really do that. It's ok though because your Grandma and I really want to do it. It's almost kind of strange really, but we have to go through the right legal process."

"Otherwise I have to go back to my Mom?"

"Maybe" Luke nodded. "How did you know that?"

"I hear what you and Grandma are talking about sometimes." Ryan admitted.

Luke nodded and looked down, ashamed that his Grandson had known about the custody battle. "So, you know that we're waiting to hear from your Father?"

"No" Ryan said and looked at Luke with wide eyes. "What? You know who he is and where he is? Are you hiding him from me?"

"No" Luke insisted and leaned over the counter as he placed a hand on Ryan's shoulder. "Let's go upstairs for a minute. I want to have this conversation in private." Luke insisted and yelled to Caesar to cover before he led Ryan up the stairs. Once they were in the apartment, Ryan sat on the couch before Luke sat down on the coffee table in front of him. "Look at me." Luke insisted and rested a hand on Ryan's knee. "Your Father's name is Jess Marino. He lives in Philadelphia. He's lived there since he left New York when you were a baby. He used to have a bad drug problem, but he claims to be ok now. That's why the custody battle is so important right now. Your Father filed a motion in court that he wants to challenge your Grandma and me. He wants to see you, Ryan."

Ryan sat in silence for a minute as he took in what Luke had told him. "No" Ryan suddenly insisted. "I don't want to see him; I don't want anything to do with him."

"Ok" Luke sat up straight as Ryan quickly stood up and began to pace the kitchen.

"He left a long time ago and made it clear he didn't want to be my Dad. I don't want to see him." Ryan ranted. "I want to stay with you and Grandma; no one else. I don't even want to stay with Mom anymore. I wish you and Grandma were my parents and not them." Ryan huffed and crossed his small arms over his chest before leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Ryan" Luke whispered and rushed over to hug him. Ryan protested at first, but his little body was no match for Luke's strong embrace. "Ryan, you shouldn't hate your parents. They were young and made mistakes, but they both love you. I can't say I'm really a fan of either one of them at this moment, but we'll work on them later. Right now all your Grandma and I care about is you. We love you so much." Luke insisted. "I'm so sorry you heard about the custody issues. Please let Grandma and I take care of it. We've got a really good attorney and he's working hard to make sure you stay right here with us, ok?"

"I won't go anywhere else." Ryan insisted. "If they try to make me, I'll run away."

"You're going to stay here." Luke said firmly, as if there was no other option. He knew Jess had a chance at winning custody, but he would never admit his doubt to Ryan. "Is that understood?"

Ryan took a deep breath and relaxed a little before nodding his understanding.

"Good. Now let's go home and cook dinner for Grandma."

"Can we order Chinese food?" Ryan asked hopefully.

"We can cook Chinese food." Luke suggested.

"Really? You know how to do that?"

"Yeah, I think we can come up with something good." Luke nodded and smiled as Ryan's face lit up.

XXXXX

**AN: Thanks for reading! I really appreciate all your reviews, please keep it up. I realize this was a short chapter, but it was also fairly heavy. The next few chapters will be packed, hence my updating delays. I'm going to try and be better, but I hope the quality of content makes up for the updating lag. Thanks again!**


	17. Chapter 17

Lorelai was pouring herself an evening cup of coffee when the phone rang. She quickly went to answer it before it disturbed Ryan's homework efforts.

"Hello?" Lorelai questioned as she went back to her coffee and took a sip.

"Lorelai? This is Julia, Rory's friend."

"Julia, yeah, hi." Lorelai hesitated and walked out of the kitchen and began to climb the stairs so Ryan wouldn't overhear the conversation. "Is everything ok, Julia?"

Lorelai could hear the hesitation in Julia's voice as she took a shaky breath. "I'm not really sure. By any chance is Rory there?"

"No, why?" Lorelai frowned.

"Well, to be honest with you…I don't know where she is." Julia admitted. "I saw her this morning, but things went downhill from there. She got a letter in the mail from a lawyer saying a social worker would be stopping by to look at the apartment and interview her. She didn't really explain much, but said she was going to try and make it to Stars Hollow. She wanted to see if there was a way to talk to you and work things out. What is she talking about, Lorelai?"

"Luke and I are trying to get custody of Ryan." Lorelai informed her.

"Oh" Julia realized. "That makes sense, I mean, you guys are taking care of him. Is he doing ok?"

"Ryan's doing well, all things considered." Lorelai explained. "Rory's trying to come here? Tonight? Are you sure?"

"I don't know, but that's what she said. Rory doesn't have much money right now, so I'm not really sure how she'd get to you. It's probably all talk; I'm sure she'll turn up here tonight some time." Julia assured Lorelai. "I'm sorry I bothered you."

"No, I'm glad you called." Lorelai insisted. "Hey, Julia?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for watching out for Rory. I appreciate it." Lorelai whispered.

"No problem." Julia nodded before hanging up.

Lorelai sighed and put the phone back on the desk before returning to her coffee in the kitchen. Worry crept into her mind and distracted her until Luke entered and startled her out of her thoughts.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Luke apologized and kissed her forehead.

"It's ok." Lorelai shrugged. "Rory's friend Julia called. She can't find Rory and wanted to know if we'd seen her. Apparently Rory got the paperwork from our attorney and took it badly. Julia said Rory was going to try and come talk to us about it."

Luke stood up straight and looked out the back door as if expecting to somehow see Rory there.

"I doubt she'll show up here, Luke." Lorelai sighed. "Rory has no money and no car; she's probably just out drinking away the pain again."

"What if she does show up?"

"She's not welcome here." Lorelai said seriously.

"Lorelai…"

"No, Luke. I mean it. I love Rory, you know that, but she can't just show up here. We tried having her visit; it didn't work. We can't subject Ryan to that kind of drama again, it's too much. She can't be here." Lorelai insisted. "I'm sitting here worried about her and wondering where she's at, who she's with and when she'll show up at her apartment. For Ryan's sake I have to put all that aside and just focus on him right now. Once we get custody of him, we can try to get through to Rory, but not now, Luke."

"Ok, I get it." Luke nodded and rubbed her shoulder as she leaned against him. "Is Ryan in his room?"

"Yes, working on homework." Lorelai answered and lowered her voice. "He's been in there for hours. I think he may need some help, but he probably won't ask. Do you mind helping him? He seems more receptive to your help than mine for some reason."

"Sure, no problem." Luke agreed.

XXXX

Julia found Rory in one of her usual drinking spots and practically dragged her back home. She helped Rory into her apartment and onto the couch before looking at her in disgust.

"You have got to get your act together, Rory." Julia said sternly.

"It's not your problem, leave me alone." Rory huffed.

"You're right. It's not my problem, but I care about you. I'm tired of seeing you throw your life away when you have so much to live for! You have a wonderful Son who loves you and wants to see you get better."

"Ryan's fine. He'll be better off once he's back here."

"Don't you understand that he's not coming back? You Mom is trying to get custody of him because you can't take care of him. He's just a little boy, Rory. You can't expect him to take care of himself."

"Well, from what the social worker said, he'll probably be back here soon." Rory lied.

"Are you nuts? That's not what she said." Julia frowned. "If anything, her visit here just reinforced the fact that you can't have Ryan around. This is so crazy, Rory. You have got to stop drinking, there's no way around it. I care about you, but I can't continue to pick up after you. You've got to change your life."

XXXX

Luke and Lorelai worked closely with their attorney over the next few days to keep the custody battle moving. A social worker finally got in contact with Rory and interviewed her at her apartment, which led to a report clearly showing that Rory could not care for Ryan. Everything about the case was going well until Jess and his attorney got involved. They filed a motion to have Ryan placed in Jess' care, which had to be taken seriously since Jess was Ryan's biological Father.

A few days later Lorelai and Luke went to the courthouse in Hartford for a meeting with their attorney and a judge in an effort to reach an agreement outside the court room.

A social worker had contacted Rory and presented a report stating that Rory could not care for Ryan full time. The things she presented were disturbing, but proved the need for Luke and Lorelai to be Ryan's guardians. After the presentation, Jess' attorney explained that Jess wanted to have full custody of Ryan since he was the boy's biological Father. Luke and Lorelai's attorney objected on the grounds that Jess had never shown any interest in Ryan's life. The attorney made a very strong case for Ryan staying with Luke and Lorelai including all the evidence of how he was thriving in his current environment.

Finally, the judge called for a break. Jess left the room immediately, followed shortly by Lorelai. He walked outside and was looking at his cell phone when she walked up to him.

Lorelai stood face to face with Jess, her eyes filled with anger as Jess stared at her with a smug look on his face. Suddenly Lorelai reached out and slapped him, in an attempt to wipe that look off of his face. He took a small step back, but continued to stare at her.

"You're a real jackass, you know that?" Lorelai spat. "You've done everything possible to screw this up. You don't want what's best for Ryan, you just want to screw with me! Screw you, you stupid jerk. I hate that you ruined Rory's life and now you want to do the same to Ryan. Why can't you just leave this alone? What could you possibly give Ryan that Luke and I can't? You have a family; go be with them. Don't take Ryan away from the only stability he's known in a long time."

"I know I screwed up a long time ago, but I'm reliable now. I want to take him with me and have a relationship with him. This isn't something you can control. It's not about you." Jess said calmly.

"I know that! This is about Ryan."

"He deserves to know his Father."

"You walked away from him, Jess. You walked out and didn't even look back. That's not what a Father does." Lorelai fumed. "A Father loves and adores his child. He teaches him how to play baseball, helps with his homework, protects him from bullies, loves him! Luke gives that to Ryan and you never have. You can't just come in here and take our kid away!"

"My kid." Jess corrected her.

"That's what I meant." Lorelai said in a shaky voice.

"Oh, so that's what this is about." Jess smiled maniacally. "Why don't you and Luke have a couple of kids running around here, huh? You don't have one of your own, so you have to steal mine?" He spat.

"Jess, don't" Lorelai begged as a tear fell from her eye. "You don't know what you're talking about, don't go there."

"You can't just take my kid and create a little family of your own. It doesn't work like that; you know it and so do I. We'll also see that the law doesn't allow that."

"Now you're just being spiteful." Lorelai gasped. "You'd really go through all this just to take something I love away from me? You hate me that much?" Lorelai questioned. "What the hell did I ever do to you?"

"You never accepted me. My relationship with Rory was doomed from the start because you didn't approve. Hell, you never even gave me a chance. You wrote me off the moment you saw me."

"Jess, are you honestly still pining for Rory? All of that is in the past and I can't change it. I made some mistakes I'm not proud of and regret some things I said, especially to Rory. That was all years ago. Do you still have feelings for Rory or something? Does your wife know?"

"There's nothing between Rory and I anymore. I haven't even seen her in almost a decade. The whole New York debacle probably wouldn't have happened if you'd been a little more accepting of me and my relationship with Rory."

"Wow, Jess. I had no idea you were so cruel." Lorelai huffed. "You come here and blame everything on me, like I had that much power over you. You know what? I didn't have the best of circumstances when I was younger, but I made the best of it. I made good choices and took care of Rory. That's more than I can say for you, you sorry excuse for a Father. Go home to your wife and kids in Philadelphia and leave us the hell alone."


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: Sorry for the delay in updating! Sometimes real life just gets in the way. Please read and review!**

XXXXX

After Lorelai and Jess returned to the meeting room, the meeting continued. The judge reviewed all the statements and evidence again before making a decision. He denied Jess' motion for custody on the grounds that he had abandoned his Son as a baby and had shown no interest in him until very recently. However the judge did grant him limited visitation if an agreement could be reached between Jess, Lorelai and Luke.

Lorelai and Luke each breathed a sigh of relief as the judge continued reading his decision, but tensed up again when he said a court appearance would still be necessary. Apparently the evidence against Rory was not enough to prove that she was an unfit Mother and the social worker would have a bit more work to do. Rory would also be given the opportunity to defend herself, if she chose to.

Jess' attorney protested that Jess was being treated unfairly, but it was no use. Jess was told he could appeal the decision, but it was highly unlikely that another judge would view the case differently. The judge called the meeting to a close and said a court date would be scheduled for the next available date.

After Luke and Lorelai spoke with their attorney, they quickly left the courthouse and headed toward Luke's truck. As they walked through the parking garage, Luke reached out and held Lorelai's hand.

"We did it." Luke smiled.

"Yeah, I'm a little nervous about the court date though. I thought we'd be awarded custody today. Doesn't this seem strange to you?" Lorelai frowned as they both stopped walking.

"A little, but I guess they just have to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Ryan belongs with us." Luke shrugged. "The attorney said we didn't have anything to worry about."

"I know, but I just worry that something will go wrong." Lorelai sighed.

"Don't." Luke insisted. "It's right that Ryan's with us and I'm sure the court will see that and make everything official."

"I hope you're right." Lorelai said as Luke pulled her into a tight hug.

XXXXX

The next few weeks went by uneventfully at the Danes house as they prepared for the big court date. Ryan continued to settle into his new home and school. Richard and Emily spent more time with Ryan, which Luke and Lorelai actually didn't mind since Ryan enjoyed it.

Against the advice of their attorney, Luke drove to Philadelphia to see Jess. Both Luke and Lorelai were worried that Jess would continue to interfere with the case, so Luke went to visit Jess and attempt to work things out.

Luke took a deep breath and walked into Truncheon books. He found Jess standing behind the cash register talking to an employee.

"Jess" Luke nodded and placed his hands on the counter. "Can we talk upstairs for a minute?"

Jess seemed to weigh the options for a minute before nodding and leading Luke upstairs.

"Are you here to punch me again?" Jess asked as they walked into Jess' office.

"I'd prefer not to." Luke huffed.

"Ok, so what do you want?"

"I want to talk about Ryan." Luke said as they sat down in two chairs near the desk. "Look, Jess, I don't want to fight with you about this. I want to come to a solution without a major court battle."

"I want to see Ryan." Jess said calmly.

"Why not?" Luke asked. "You've gone all this time without seeing him, how could you possibly expect to suddenly become his Father?"

"I am his Father."

"You know what I mean." Luke sighed. "You had a hand in his existence, but have been absent for a long time. What makes you think Ryan would even be receptive to meeting you?"

"What kid doesn't want to meet their Father?"

"Good point." Luke agreed.

"Luke" Jess sighed and shook his head. "I'm going to be honest with you here. I really do want to see Ryan and maybe someday have a relationship with him. I'd prefer not to go through the courts, but if you and Lorelai aren't going to allow me to see him, that's the only option I have left."

"It's not that we don't want you to see Ryan, it's just that we're trying to protect him. He's had a really rough past couple years and we're just trying to give him a normal life."

"Can we work out some sort of arrangement?"

"Maybe" Luke nodded. "What are you thinking?"

"Visits every other weekend, at least."

Luke thought for a minute before offering a compromise. "I think we need to start out slower than that. You're a stranger to Ryan and I don't want him to be afraid of you, so we need to take this slow. How about if you lay low for a while? Give Lorelai and I a chance to get the custody stuff taken care of. After that, maybe a month or so, we can work on arranging a meeting between you and Ryan. Lorelai and I will talk to Ryan about you and explain a bit about who you are so he's more comfortable. When we think Ryan's ready, we'll have you meet him. If things go well and Ryan wants to, we'll work out a regular visitation schedule."

"Ok" Jess agreed. "Just don't drag this out too long and use Ryan as an excuse for keeping me away."

"If he doesn't want to see you, we're not going to force him." Luke frowned.

"Of course not, I'm just asking you to be honest with me during this process." Jess said and shook his head. "I know I haven't exactly been honest with you and screwed up with the attorney stuff. I'm sorry for putting you guys through that, but I didn't think there was any other choice. I've changed since I left Ryan and I want to make things right."

"Ok" Luke nodded. "Everyone is going to be honest and we're going to work together to do what's best for Ryan."

"Right" Jess agreed.

XXXXX

Lorelai fidgeted nervously as she, Luke, her parents, and the lawyer stood outside the court room.

"Relax" Luke whispered in her ear as he gently squeezed her hand.

"I can't." Lorelai smiled nervously.

"We've already proved we can take care of and provide for Ryan. This court appearance is just a formality. They want to hear the social worker's report before they give us full temporary custody." Luke assured her.

"But it's only temporary custody." Lorelai sighed.

"It's going to take a lot more time to get permanent custody. For right now, temporary custody is what we've got. Besides, we don't want to completely cut Rory out of Ryan's life. As much as I love that little guy, I can't ignore that she's his Mother. She does have some right to see him."

"Which is why we are here today." Richard interrupted. "This way Rory can still see him if she chooses."

"That doesn't seem likely." Lorelai sighed. "She didn't even show up to any of the meetings we arranged. Do you really think she'll be here?"

"We'll just have to wait and see." Luke assured her. "You never know."

"Yeah" Lorelai mumbled and continued to fidget before Luke wrapped an arm around her waist.

They all waited anxiously in the hallway until the click-clack of high heel shoes turned their attention down the hallway. Lorelai visibly tensed as she saw Rory walking toward them. It looked like Rory had made an effort to dress up and make herself look presentable, but her clothes looked worn out and her hair looked dull. It was obvious to Lorelai that Rory hadn't changed her ways yet, however she still held onto a shred of hope that her baby girl would see the light. Maybe showing up in court was a first step.

Richard and Emily looked at Rory in shock as she walked closer. They hadn't seen her since she left for New York all those years ago. They wanted to reach out and hug her, but they almost couldn't believe the woman standing in front of them was their once bright and happy Granddaughter.

Luke was about to say something to break the awkward silence when the court room door swung open and announced that it was their turn to enter the court room. Rory quickly walked passed them all and entered the courtroom. She sat down as the rest of the Gilmores filed into the courtroom and sat on the opposite side of the room. Their attorney spoke with them before turning and preparing for the judge to enter the room.

Emily looked over at Rory for a moment before leaning over and whispering in Lorelai's ear. "You would think she would have at least made an effort to dress up for this."

"I'm sure she did, Mom." Lorelai sighed. "That's probably one of the nicest things she owns. Rory doesn't have much money. That's probably also why she's here by herself."

"Oh" Emily realized and sat back in her chair.

The judge entered the room as everyone rose. She told them to be seated and began the court proceedings. Everything went along smoothly until it was Rory's turn to speak for herself.

"Ms. Gilmore." The judge began and looked at Rory. "I understand you wanted to say something?"

"Yes, your honor." Rory nodded and stood up. "I just wanted to say that I really do love my son. I wish I could go back and change things, but I can't. I'd like to ask the court for another chance to make things right." Rory said before looking at the judge and waiting for an answer.

"Is there anything else you'd like to say?"

"No, your honor." Rory said and sat back down.

"Ms. Gilmore, I'd like to remind you that this is a very serious matter. You're being accused of being an unfit Mother and neglecting your Son. You failed to appear before the court previously and now you expect me to give you another chance? Ms. Gilmore, from what the social worker has explained about your case, I can't see why giving your Son back to you would be a good idea. Your own family is here fighting against you in this matter." The judge explained and looked down at Rory. She cleared her throat before looking back at the rest of the Gilmore clan. "Considering all the facts of this case, the testimony I've heard previously, and the social worker's report, I hereby award full temporary custody of Ryan Gilmore to Lorelai Gilmore-Danes and Luke Danes. Ms. Rory Gilmore may have visitation rights if an agreement can be reached between herself and Mr. and Mrs. Danes and it is approved by the social worker."

Relief washed over Lorelai as Luke squeezed her hand firmly. The judge quickly wrapped things up and left the court room before Richard and Emily jumped up to speak with and thank the attorney. Luke and Lorelai soon joined them before turning to leave the court room.

Rory sat in her chair, stunned. She looked as if someone had just slapped her across the face.


	19. Chapter 19

Luke and Lorelai picked Ryan up from Sookie's house on their way home from the court hearing. They didn't say much to Ryan until they were home and seated at the kitchen table.

"Did it go badly, or something?" Ryan asked nervously.

"Actually, it went really well." Lorelai smiled. "You're going to be staying with us."

"Good" Ryan nodded and relaxed a bit. "I like it here."

"We like having you." Luke added.

"Yeah, we really are happy about it." Lorelai said.

"Ok, but why are we talking like this than? Usually you jump up and down and yell when you're happy, Grandma. I don't get it." Ryan frowned.

"Well, here's the thing, Ryan. When the judge said you could stay with us, that meant that he took you away from your Mom. So, while we're really happy you're staying with us, we're sad that you won't be seeing your Mom for a while."

"I can't see her at all?" Ryan frowned.

"No, not for a while." Luke said.

"Honey, your Mom is sick and she needs to get some help. Grandpa and I decided that she shouldn't be hanging around here until she gets better." Lorelai said and touched Ryan's shoulder. "It's really hard, but it's what we think is best."

Ryan frowned and blinked a few times before quickly getting up and going into his bedroom. Lorelai winced as the door slammed behind him.

"That went worse than I thought it would." Lorelai sighed.

"You really expected it to go well?" Luke raised an eyebrow.

"No, but I was trying to have a positive attitude. I thought that maybe he was still upset with Rory for her last visit."

"Things between he and Rory are tough now, but they were really close in the past. He's been the one taking care of her for some time now, so I bet he's worried about her. He loves her, Lorelai."

"I know, Luke." Lorelai agreed. "But he's safe here. Rory wasn't taking care of him, she was hurting him."

"We know that, but Ryan doesn't." Luke nodded and stood up. "I'll go talk to him."

"Ok, you want me to come too?"

"No, I think this needs to be man to man."

"Hey" Luke said and slumped down on Ryan's bed. The boy was lying face down on his bed and didn't acknowledge Luke. "It's ok to be upset about this or have mixed feelings. It's a big deal." Luke put his hand on Ryan's back when he didn't respond and sighed deeply. "Talk to me, buddy."

"I want to help her feel better." Ryan sighed and rolled over so he was facing Luke. "She always tried to make me feel better when I was sick. One time I was really sick and had a fever and Mom stayed with me all night. She slept in my bed and woke up every time I did."

"That's good, Ryan, but you're Mom needs more help than that. This isn't something that will go away like a cold or the flu. She needs professional help." Luke explained.

"Well, maybe I can at least be there for her." Ryan hoped.

"I think it's best that you spend some time away from her, for now." Luke said and winced at the pain in Ryan's eyes. He knew this was going to be hard on Ryan, but he and Lorelai thought it was best. Rory had not been stable since they'd gone to New York and she hadn't given them any sign she would change.

Lorelai slowly crept into the room and sat on the bed. She looked down at Ryan with tears in her eyes before pulling him up into a hug. It pained her to abandon her daughter, but Lorelai knew she could help Ryan so she had to do everything possible to make sure he was ok. She hoped Rory would be receptive to help eventually, but Ryan was her priority at the moment.

Luke wrapped his strong arms around both Lorelai and Ryan as the two cried together. After a few minutes, Luke squeezed both of them and stood up off the bed. "I'm going to the diner to get burgers for dinner." He said before leaving.

Ryan and Lorelai both calmed down and sat next to each other on the edge of the bed as Luke returned. Luke held up the bag that contained burgers and nodded toward the kitchen. Lorelai and Ryan seemed to practically drag themselves into the kitchen and sat at the table. Luke placed a hamburger in front of each before beginning to eat his own turkey burger.

When Ryan finished his dinner, he quickly went back into his bedroom and shut the door.

"Do you think we make the right decision?" Lorelai worried.

"Yes, you're doing the right thing." Luke assured her.

"It's so hard to watch Ryan react to this. It hurts." Lorelai whispered.

"I know." Luke nodded.

"You really think this is right?"

"I don't know." Luke shook his head. "It doesn't seem like there is a scenario where everyone wins. Either Rory or Ryan will lose."

"Right now we all seem to be losing."

"It'll get better." Luke nodded. "We have to believe that this is the right choice and things will turn around."

"I hope so, Luke. I really hope so." Lorelai sighed.

XXXXX

Friday night dinner rolled around and Luke, Lorelai, and Ryan gathered at the Gilmore house. Emily insisted that Ryan should be a part of their old tradition, to which Lorelai and Luke reluctantly agreed. After they were all seated and had drinks, Richard asked Ryan if he wanted to see his study. Ryan wasn't sure what was so great about it, but he followed Richard anyway.

"Lorelai, I need to speak with you in the kitchen." Emily said and practically pulled Lorelai with her.

"What's going on, Mom?" Lorelai frowned as she leaned against the counter, arms crossed over her chest.

Emily hesitated for a moment, as if reconsidering what she was going to say. "I want to speak with you about Rory."

"What about her?" Lorelai frowned. 

"I can't stop thinking about her…about that look on her face as we left the courtroom." Emily said, her voice trembling slightly. "We've got to do something, Lorelai."

"I know, Mom. Believe me, I want to help her, but now isn't the time." Lorelai explained.

"What? How can you say that, Lorelai? Don't you want to help your daughter?" Emily spat.

Lorelai scoffed and moved away from the counter as she tried to remain calm. "Mom, Rory is my only child. I'd do anything for her; step in front of a train, take a bullet, give my right arm, you name it…I'd do it. Don't accuse me of not helping my daughter, because I am helping her. I'm making her figure this out on her own, which breaks my heart. I want to pull her surroundings, but it won't do any good unless she wants to change. If I put her into rehab, she'll just start drinking again!" Lorelai shouted.

"Lorelai" Emily said, warning her to keep her voice down.

"No, Mom, just listen to me." Lorelai insisted. "I love Rory, but I can't make her change. Luke and I are able to take care of Ryan, so that's how we're helping Rory right now. It absolutely breaks my heart to turn my back on Rory, but I don't know what else to do."

Emily didn't say anything as Lorelai took a few deep breaths and calmed down. "I'm sorry if I upset you." Emily blurted out, surprising Lorelai.

"That's ok." Lorelai nodded. "It's a hard subject and I'm still really conflicted over it. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not."

"I understand." Emily nodded, remembering her own battle over what to do when Lorelai left all those years ago. "So, we just wait for Rory?"

"I suppose." Lorelai shrugged. "It kind of sounds pathetic, but I just don't know what to do."

"Lorelai" Emily hesitated. "I'm not sure if this will do much good, but I want to offer you my help. If you need anything at all, just ask. Your Father and I want to help Rory and Ryan in any way we can."

"Thanks, Mom."


	20. Chapter 20

Rory slowly climbed the stairs as she exited the subway station. It was a dreary rainy day, which seemed fitting for the task at hand. As she stepped onto the sidewalk and waited to cross the street, she reached into her purse and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Rory lit a cigarette and stood on the sidewalk smoking for a minute while she tried to work up enough courage to move forward.

It had been almost two weeks since she'd lost custody of Ryan in court. The judgment against her had been almost surreal and sent her further into a downward spiral. She went on a three day drinking binge that ended with her waking up in a jail cell. She had no clue how she got there or even which part of the city she was in. Fortunately, her friend Julia came to the rescue once more and picked her up. The police seemed sympathetic to Julia and explained Rory had been picked up after wandering the streets in a drunken state. They weren't going to press any charges this time, but made it clear there wouldn't be a second chance. Julia was very upset with Rory's behavior, but simply told her this was the last time. She wouldn't be picking up after her anymore and told her it was time to get help.

Rory didn't take Julia's advice too seriously until she went to work a few days later. Her boss pulled her aside and explained she was being fired for not showing up to work for almost a week. Rory was stunned to say the least. Her financial situation was already teetering on the edge, but losing one of her two jobs would send it over the edge. Rory knew she was in serious trouble this time and no one would be there to bail her out. Her Mother and Grandparents had taken her Son from her and now she would be forced to live on the streets unless she got her life together. Rory's addiction had taken first priority in her life and now it left her high and dry.

With disaster impending, Rory finally came to the realization that she needed help. A lot of help. She went to Julia and tearfully apologized for all the pain she had caused and just how much she'd screwed up. Julia was glad to see that Rory finally wanted to change and suggested Rory start by going back to therapy. Rory was hesitant, but figured it was probably the best way to take the first step in changing her ways.

Now, she stood out in the rain, thinking of all the mistakes she'd made and how much she had hurt Ryan. Thinking of Ryan gave Rory the resolve she needed to toss her cigarette on the ground and start walking. She kept going and didn't stop until she came to Meg Alder's office. Rory took a deep breath and opened the door to the reception area.

XXXXX

"So, Rory it's been a long time since you were last in my office." Meg said as Rory sat quietly on the couch in her office. Rory nodded, but didn't say anything. "You want to talk about it?" Meg asked.

Rory sighed and shook her head. "I don't really know where to begin. So much as changed since I've been here. It was what, about a year ago when I first came to you?"

"Yes, just about a year ago." Meg answered while looking through her notes.

"Like I was saying, a lot has changed." Rory began. "My best friend contacted my Mother just after I stopped visiting you. She and my step father came to my apartment and tried to help, which ended up being a disaster. My Mom was convinced that I couldn't take care of Ryan, so she found a way to get custody of him. He's living with her and my step father in Stars Hollow."

"When did that happen?"

"About six months ago they took him and two weeks ago they were granted custody by the court." Rory answered. "At first, I wanted to visit Ryan every weekend, but I couldn't make that work. I've been working two jobs, so scheduling is a challenge. I also made the mistake of being too drunk to go a few times and really let Ryan down. When I did finally get to visit him, I got drunk in the middle of the night. That didn't exactly help my case and just reinforced that he shouldn't be with me."

"You've been to court?"

"Yes. I totally screwed up and didn't show up to the first hearing. My Mom was granted temporary custody and another hearing was set up. I actually showed up to that one, but it was a disaster. I couldn't afford an attorney, so I just went by myself. My grandparents hired some big shot lawyer to represent my Mom and the judge sided with them." Rory said and shook her head in shame. "I feel like such a bad Mom. I've let my addictions come before Ryan."

"Sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this. It usually takes most people a long time to come to that realization." Meg noted while writing on her note pad.

"I really miss Ryan and feel so horrible for everything I've put him through. I'm trying to change."

"By doing what?"

"Coming here and looking into a treatment program." Rory said. "I need to make major changes in my life or I'll never have Ryan back. I'm thinking of moving out of New York."

"Really?" Meg questioned.

"Yeah, I think I just need to get away and start over again." Rory said. "That's kind of why I came back to talk to you. I don't really know about getting into treatment or what I need to do. Can you help me?"

"I know of some good programs." Meg said and went to her desk to pull out several brochures and handed them to Rory. "There is a really good program in Vermont. You'd be there for a couple months and then they'd help you find a support group and counselor afterwards. They can also help you find a place to settle in after you're done."

"Ok" Rory said quietly while looking over the brochures. "Can I have some time to think about this?"

"Are you really going to think about it or just put it off a little longer?" Meg asked. "Why wait?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure that I'm ready."

"When are you going to be ready?" Meg pressed. "What's the difference between now and later? You want to get your son back or at least be able to visit him regularly, right?"

"Of course"

"Then you need to get sober and prove that you can be a good Mom." Meg explained.

"I guess you're right. Can I have a couple days to get everything in order?" Rory asked.

"That seems reasonable. Call your family and make sure they know what's going on. Why don't you plan to come back in two days from now all ready to go and I'll make arrangements to get you to Vermont."

"Ok" Rory nodded.


	21. Chapter 21

**AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I appreciate the feedback and support.**

**XXXXX**

After Rory finished her session at Meg's office, she walked back home. About three blocks from her apartment, Rory saw a liquor store and fought the urge to stop inside. Her heart started beating faster as she willed herself to walk passed the store, but she stopped a block later. She turned and walked back to the store and stopped outside. Her mind told her to walk away, but her feet carried her into the store and down a familiar aisle. Before she could stop herself, she'd purchased two bottles of vodka and exited the store.

"Shit" Rory swore as she walked home and adjusted the bottles in her arms. She hated herself for what she'd just done, but it was too hard to resist. Rory silently told herself she wouldn't drink it and would throw it away when she got home. However, once she was home, she found herself sitting on the couch with a bottle of vodka and a glass sitting on the coffee table in front of her.

Rory exhaled and stood up off the couch before searching for her cell phone. Without really thinking, she dialed Lorelai's cell number.

"Hello?" Lorelai answered in a cheery voice.

"Mom" Rory said and began to pace the room.

"Rory" Lorelai said seriously. "What are you calling for?"

"I just need to talk to someone right now." Rory pleaded.

"Rory" Lorelai hesitated. "We can't keep doing this."

"Things are different now." Rory tried to explain. "I just wanted to talk."

"Rory, I can't do this right now. You can't just interrupt our lives here whenever it's convenient for you. I'm sorry, but I need to go. Write a letter or something, but don't just call out of the blue." Lorelai said quickly before hanging up.

Rory huffed and threw her phone onto the table. After everything she'd done, she couldn't blame her Mother for being skeptical, but this seemed cold. It seemed as if her Mother didn't want anything to do with her anymore. Rory didn't understand why she would turn her back until it dawned on her; Rory had turned her back on her entire family when she put her addiction first. That realization physically hurt and led Rory back to the couch. Almost automatically, Rory poured herself half a glass of Vodka and took a sip. She shivered at its strength before going to the refrigerator for Cranberry Juice.

She downed the mixed drink quickly and instantly regretted it. It made her feel better at first, but she knew she had to quit. Not just for herself, but for Ryan. Rory gritted her teeth and grabbed the bottles off the coffee table. She practically ran to the kitchen sink and emptied the bottles. Tears began to flow down her face as she thought of the money she'd wasted and how hard it was going to be to break free from her addiction's grasp.

XXXXX

"Who was that?" Luke asked Lorelai as he poured her a cup of coffee. She'd taken an afternoon break from the Inn to grab a cup of coffee and see Luke before Ryan got off school.

"Rory" Lorelai sighed and sank onto a stool. "Couldn't you see my frustration while I walk talking?"

"By the look on your face I assumed it was your Mother asking us to go to some stupid party again."

"I wish." Lorelai frowned. "Rory said she just wanted to talk."

"But you didn't want to?"

"No, Luke. I don't want to play games with her anymore. She can't just do whatever she wants and expect us to follow. We have an obligation to keep Ryan safe. Judging by Rory's past behavior, that's not going to include her."

"Maybe she's having second thoughts now that Ryan's with us?" Luke shrugged.

"Maybe." Lorelai agreed. "I guess, I'm just not interested in what she has to say for herself at this point. I realize how harsh that sounds, but it's the only way I can stay sane. Rory's made her own choices and now she has to live with them. Nothing I say is going to change things. What difference will a phone conversation really make? Will it do anything other than make things more painful?"

"I-" Luke began but was quickly cut off by Ryan's arrival.

"Hi Grandma!" Ryan said as he entered the diner and hopped onto a stool beside her. "You're not usually here when I finish school."

"I needed a coffee break." Lorelai smiled. "How was school today?"

"It was ok." Ryan shrugged and took his backpack off before setting it on the counter. He reached inside and pulled out a sealed envelope addressed to Lorelai and Luke. "My teacher said I have to give this to you."

Lorelai cast a worried glance at Luke before taking the envelope from Ryan and opening it. "Oh, this is your quarterly report card." Lorelai said and set it on the counter so Luke could also read it. Ryan looked on nervously as he waited for his Grandparents to finish examining the report.

"This is great, buddy." Luke encouraged him and smiled.

"Yeah, we should celebrate tonight." Lorelai smiled and hugged her Grandson. "I'm so proud of you for working hard and never giving up."

"Thanks" Ryan grinned and leaned over to look at the report card. He usually dreaded report card day because it reminded him of his shortfalls. He was surprised to see that this time the report showed all 'B' grades, unlike the normal mix of 'C' and 'D' letters.

Luke and Lorelai were both beaming with pride at Ryan's progress. They'd seem his past grades and were very happy with his improvement. They were more concerned with what he was learning than the grade, but it was nice to see Ryan making progress after being so far behind.

"So, what kind of pie do you want?" Luke asked and leaved over the counter.

"Pie before dinner?" Ryan raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"It's a treat, don't get used to it." Luke warned.

"Apple, with a scoop of vanilla ice cream." Ryan nodded.

"I like how you think. Make it two." Lorelai smiled as Luke rolled his eyes, but went to comply with their requests anyway.

"I'm really proud of you." Lorelai said to Ryan and wrapped an arm around him.

"Thanks" Ryan said shyly.

XXXXX

Lorelai fell into bed in a rather clumsy manner, causing Luke to stir from his sleep and roll over. "Sorry" She whispered and cuddled next to him.

"It's ok. I must have dozed off while you were washing your face." Luke yawned.

"I'm so proud of Ryan." Lorelai whispered.

"Me too. He's really working hard at his school work and catching up quickly." Luke agreed. "Hey, can I say something?"

"Always"

"Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but doesn't it feel a little strange that we're making such a big deal out of this?" Luke frowned.

"I had the same thought, babe." Lorelai agreed. "It's an accomplishment worth celebrating under Ryan's circumstances, but it does feel a little weird to celebrate all 'B' grades. All night I've been thinking about the grades Rory used to get as a kid. She really didn't struggle with school work until she got to Chilton. Even then it wasn't so much a struggle as an adjustment. Heck, she graduated as Valedictorian and now her kid can barely read! It makes me really upset to think that Rory let that happen. It's certainly not Ryan's fault, but his Mother should have taught him how to read."

"Yes, she should have." Luke nodded.

"At least he's getting 'B's now. His report cards from last year in New York were terrible. I feel bad that I wasn't there for him when he was struggling so much. The bad grades really weren't even his fault. He's just a little guy and he deserves to be little for a while longer." Lorelai sighed. "Luke, you don't think we're putting too much pressure on him with this school thing, do you? I mean, I don't want him to feel like he has to get good grades to make us happy or anything."

"I know what you mean." Luke said. "Ryan seems to be motivated to do the work. Yes, we push him, but not too much. He has a lot of work to do and we're here to make sure it happens. We've got a good balance of fun and school, don't worry. Right now, it's important that he have a loving, stable home. We've provided that and now he's beginning to thrive."

"You're right." Lorelai agreed. "It's just one thing though."

"What?"

"Rory's not part of it."


	22. Chapter 22

**AN: Here's the next chapter! Things are moving along, so please read and review. I appreciate feedback. **

XXXXX

Rory arrived in Meg's office for her scheduled appointment two days later and tried to remain calm as Meg greeted her.

"How have the last two days been, Rory? Did you get everything in order?" Meg asked.

"Not completely." Rory admitted. "I had a small set back."

"Oh?"

Rory sighed and looked down at her feet, feeling ashamed for her actions. "I bought two bottles of Vodka on my way home from your office. I tried hard to resist, but it was too hard and I gave in. When I got home, I poured myself a glass. In an effort to distract myself, I tried calling my Mom."

"How did that go?"

"She didn't want to talk to me." Rory whispered and swallowed the lump in her throat. "I can't blame her, really. She's got enough going on and I haven't exactly been helping with anything."

"How did that make you feel?"

"Horrible. I know I brought this on myself, but it still hurts. My own Mom won't talk to me. She wouldn't even listen to why I was calling. I thought that maybe if she would talk to me for a while that I wouldn't drink that night." Rory admitted and wiped the corner of her eye.

"But she wouldn't talk to you and you drank anyway."

"Yes, but only one drink. I poured the rest down the sink." Rory explained. "It's awful because I'm running out of money, but I can't stop buying alcohol."

"You drank last night too?"

"A bottle of cheap red wine. It was terrible, but it took the edge off."

"Rory, are you serious about getting help?" Meg questioned. "Or is this just a gimmick to get Ryan back? Do you really want to change?"

"I want to change." Rory insisted. "Ryan doesn't deserve a Mother like me. He deserves my Mom and Luke; they'd be wonderful parents to him. Technically they're his Grandparents, but they'd do a much better job raising him than I would. Especially right now."

"So, you do want to go to rehab then? At least for Ryan?"

"Yes." Rory nodded. "I have to go or nothing will ever change. I'm scared that things will get worse and I'll end up on the streets or in jail. Drinking is killing me." Rory admitted and wiped tears from her eyes. "I can't stop." Rory cried. "I want to stop so bad, but I just can't stop drinking."

"Ok" Meg nodded. "Would it help if we wrote out a plan to get you to rehab?"

"Yes, thank you." Rory nodded and tried to pull herself together.

"You said before that you want to start over after you get out of rehab. Does that mean you'd want to move out of your apartment now?"

"Actually, I lost one of my jobs, so I can't really afford to pay rent anymore. I basically have to be out."

"Do you have anyone who can help you or a place you can store your things? You're only allowed one bag at rehab."

"My stepfather, Luke, would probably help me. Maybe I could store my stuff at his and my Mom's place until I get out."

"Good."

"I'll have to call my Mom; tell her where I'm going."

"Is that scary?"

"I'm afraid she'll reject me again."

"That could happen." Meg nodded. "What if you called from my office? If she hangs up on you, I'll call her back."

"And do what?"

"Tell her who I am and that you're going to rehab."

"Ok."

"Let's do it now."

"What? Why? Maybe we should wait a while." Rory said nervously.

"Rory, last time you were here you agreed to be ready to leave for rehab by today. That obviously didn't happen. I know this may be pushing you, but call your Mom now. Tell her you're plan and ask if Luke will come help you move out of your apartment."

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now." Meg said and retrieved a cordless phone from her desk. "I'll talk to her with you. Call her and put it on speaker."

Rory took a deep breath before pulling her cell phone out of her purse and looking up her Mother's cell phone number. "You'd think I'd know my own Mom's cell number." Rory joked, trying to break the tension of the moment.

Meg smiled sympathetically and nodded for Rory to continue.

Rory's hand shook slightly as she dialed the number and then waited. "Hi, Mom" She said nervously when Lorelai picked up. "I need to talk to you about something really important." Rory began. "I'm at my therapist's office, Mom. Let me put you on speaker so we can all talk."

"What's going on, Rory? Are you ok?" Lorelai said as Rory pushed the speaker button and set the phone on the coffee table.

"I'm ok, or at least I will be." Rory said. "Mom, you're on speaker here. Like I said, I'm at a therapist's office here in New York. This is Meg Alder."

"Hello, Ms. Gilmore, is it?" Meg asked.

"Uh, Gilmore-Danes actually, but call me Lorelai."

"Sure, Lorelai." Meg smiled. "I'm sure you're confused by what's happening right now, so let me take a few minutes to explain. First, Rory has been seeing me off and on over the last year. I won't go into everything we've discussed, but Rory has come to some decisions and realizations recently. Rory, would you like to share what we've talked about?"

"Ok" Rory hesitated and leaned closer to the phone. "Mom, I need to get help…with…for…I need to go to rehab." Rory blurted out.

There was silence on the phone until Lorelai spoke up. "Ok" She said hesitantly.

"I'm serious, Mom. I want to stop drinking, but I can't. I need help…professional help." Rory sighed.

"Ok, I agree." Lorelai said firmly. "How can I help?"

"Lorelai, Rory will mainly need your support. The rehab facility I'm recommending is in Vermont. They have a service that will come pick her up, but she'll need your help sorting out a few things first." Meg explained.

"I have to move out of my apartment." Rory clarified. "It's too expensive to stay, especially since I won't be working. Would it be ok if I stored my stuff at your house?"

"Yes." Lorelai answered. "You'll need help moving it all too. Luke and I will come with his truck."

"I know this is last minute, but can you come tomorrow? I keep putting off this rehab thing and Meg says I need to stop making excuses and just do it."

"We'll be there around noon." Lorelai said. "What else can I do?"

"Can I see Ryan?" Rory asked hopefully.

"Rory, do you really think that's a good idea?" Lorelai sighed.

"He's my Son." Rory frowned.

Lorelai hesitated for a moment before denying her request. "I don't think so, hun. He's been doing really well here lately and I don't want anything to distract him."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that every time you call, he gets his hopes up and sometimes those hopes are shattered."

"I know I've screwed up." Rory admitted. "But Ryan is the reason I'm going to rehab. I want to be there for him and be better to him. Don't you think he deserves to know where I am?"

"Don't you think that little guy deserves a break for once?" Lorelai scoffed. "This isn't about your selfish agenda."

"How could you say this is selfish!" Rory raised her voice. "I just told you I'm doing this for Ryan."

"Yeah, but you waited until it was convenient for you, not him. He's needed a Mother for a long time, Rory and you haven't been there. Things should have never gotten as bad as they did. I'm just glad I'm here now to protect him and make sure he's ok. He's my number one priority and you're not going to hurt him again." Lorelai said coldly.

"Mom-" Rory began but was cut off by Meg.

"Ladies" Meg said and held her arms up. "You both have very strong feelings about Ryan and about Rory's rehab. It's good to talk about, but this isn't very constructive right now. Let's do this in steps. Lorelai, are you still ok with helping Rory move tomorrow?"

"Yes" She agreed.

"Good. Rory, plan to have everything packed and ready for your Mom when she arrives tomorrow. I'll have the rehab center send someone to pick you up around two o'clock. You'll have to hustle, but a tight schedule is good."

"What about Ryan?" Rory asked.

"Lorelai, can we settle on a phone call? Ryan should be aware of what's happening and have a chance to say goodbye to Rory, but a visit may not be the best idea. It may be very upsetting to Ryan after everything he's been through recently." Meg suggested.

"Ok" Lorelai sighed. "I'm still not totally on board, but he should say goodbye if she's going to be gone for a while."

"Thank you, Lorelai." Meg nodded. "So, everyone is clear on the details?"

"Yes"

"Yes" Rory and Lorelai both answered at almost the same time.

"Good. It was nice talking with you, Lorelai. Call me if you need anything." Meg said before hanging up the phone.

"She's still pissed at me." Rory sighed. "She has every right to be, but it hurts."

"Yes, addiction is painful for the entire family, not just the addict." Meg nodded. "I'm sure things will get better as you change your life and your family sees the change is permanent. It's good that she agreed to help you move."

"But I don't get to see Ryan."

"You have a phone call." Meg reminded her. "Use it wisely. Don't make a bunch of empty promises that you'll be apologizing for later. Tell him you love him and are going away to get better. Reassure him that everything will be ok and Grandma will take good care of him."

"Ok" Rory nodded. "So, this is how it starts, huh? I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff waiting to take a step out."

"Yes, but you're not falling to your death if you don't want to. You can take a step back and turn the other way."

XXXXX

Lorelai looked at her cell phone in disbelief as she sat in her office at the Inn. She wondered if that had just happened or if she'd been day dreaming. She quickly picked up her purse and tucked her cell phone in her pants pocket before rushing through the kitchen and toward the back door.

"Sookie, I'm heading over to Luke's for a few minutes." She called over her shoulder as she bolted out the back door and toward her Jeep. Lorelai reached Luke's in almost record time and practically dragged him up the stairs to the apartment.

"Lorelai, what's going on?" Luke protested as she shut the door.

"Rory called me from a therapist's office a few minutes ago. She wants to go to rehab." Lorelai blurted out.

"What?" Luke frowned as he went to sit down on the couch. "That's good, though, right?"

"Yeah, it's great, actually." Lorelai said and crossed her arms while remaining standing.

"You seem upset about it." Luke observed.

"I don't really know what to think. It's completely out of the blue. She wants us to come to New York tomorrow and help her move out of her apartment. Apparently she can't afford it anymore and needs a place to stash her stuff."

"We have a garage that's not really being used." Luke reminded her. "I was planning on replacing the door with a new one so you could park your car there, but that can wait. Rory can use it for storage."

"I guess I'm sort of shocked that she all of a sudden wants to get help. Do you think losing Ryan was the wake up call she needed?" Lorelai frowned.

"Probably. She seemed shocked that it actually happened."

"Rory asked to see Ryan before she goes away. I told her no, but the therapist asked for a phone call between them."

"Between Rory, Ryan, and a therapist?"

"No, just Rory and Ryan."

"Oh, well…that might not be too bad of an idea." Luke thought. "Ryan should know the general idea of what's happening. I know he worries about her a lot, so it would be good for him to know that she's ok."

"True." Lorelai agreed. "You don't think she'll upset him on the phone, do you?"

"There is always that risk, but we can't totally isolate them from each other. Let them talk and if Ryan gets upset we'll deal with it." Luke suggested.

"Ok" Lorelai sighed. "Luke" She hesitated and slowly sat down next to him. "Do you think this will really work? Do you think Rory will change?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "But we've got to hope it will."

XXXXX

Rory left Meg's office with strict instructions on what to do with her time until her Mom and Luke arrived to help her move. She began packing everything she owned into a mix of bags and boxes. She didn't bother to label her stuff, but put Ryan's name on a few boxes of things he'd left behind.

She had stopped to take a break from packing when her cell phone rang. "Hello?" She answered.

"Mom?" Ryan asked.

"Ryan! It's so great to hear your voice." Rory chocked out through tears forming in her eyes. "I love you, buddy."

"I love you too." He answered. "Grandma says you're going away for a while?"

"Yeah, I need to go somewhere and get better."

"Good." He concluded. "How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know yet. Maybe a month or so? I think it depends on how fast things go."

"Can you try to speed it up? I really miss you." Ryan whispered.

"I miss you too, bud." Rory said as a tear slid down her face. "I love you so much and everything is going to be better next time I see you. I promise I'll work really hard."

"Good." Ryan said again. Rory heard Lorelai say something to him in the background before he came back on the phone. "Grandma says it's time for me to go."

"Ok, remember that I love you." Rory reminded him. "You're safe with Grandma. Be good for her and Luke."

"I will." Ryan acknowledged. "I love you."

"Love you, too." Rory said as he hung up.


	23. Chapter 23

Lorelai stared out the truck window, lost in thought as the city buildings became closer. Luke glanced over at her and reached for her hand as he looked at the road and continued to drive.

"I don't know if I can do this." Lorelai blurted out, a bit startled by Luke's touch.

"You look far away. What are you thinking about?"

"I don't know if I can handle this. I'm so pissed at Rory for everything and now I have to go and pretend this is a good day."

"It is a good day." Luke nodded. "Rory knows she has a problem and wants to get help. That's good."

"Yes, but how do we know it's going to work? What if she goes and then relapses?" Lorelai worried.

"Then we'll just have to continue to be supportive."

"I don't think I can watch her do that."

"Don't put so much pressure on this, Lorelai." Luke sighed. "Yes, it's a big deal; it's a huge deal. Rory is taking a risk and doing something brave by seeking help. I have to give her credit for that. All we can really do here is just be supportive and encourage her to keep fighting and keep seeking help. It's not an overnight solution, but we just continue to help her in the right direction. We can't worry about all the things that could go wrong."

"But, I do worry, Luke." Lorelai sighed. "I always worry."

"She's your daughter, it's natural to worry." Luke agreed. "All I'm saying is don't let the worrying sabotage today and the road ahead. Ok?"

"Ok" Lorelai agreed. "Speaking of which, looks like we're here." She said as Luke parked the truck in front of Rory's apartment building. "And we got rock star parking."

"It's a sign that today is going to go well." Luke said seriously.

Lorelai snickered before saying, "Yeah, like you're one to think positive because of a random sign."

"eh, worth a try." Luke joked before opening the door and getting out of the truck. He opened Lorelai's door and took her hand as they walked up the sidewalk and to Rory's apartment.

"It's going to be fine." Luke whispered in Lorelai's ear as she knocked on Rory's door.

"Mom, Luke, hi" Rory said as she opened the door and let them in.

"Looks like you're pretty well packed up." Luke noticed as he looked around the room. "I guess I'll take the first box." He said and picked up a box of books and leaving the apartment.

"Hi" Lorelai said and smiled nervously as she and Rory stared at each other.

Rory gave a small smile and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Mom, I just…" Rory began and stopped, frowning. "This is for real."

"What?" Lorelai frowned. 

"This whole rehab thing. It's for real. I'm not just pretending, I really want to do this. I need help because I can't do it on my own."

"Ok" Lorelai nodded.

"Look, I know I don't deserve anything after how horrible I've been to you, but I wanted to ask you for something." Rory said slowly. "I would like your support as I go through this process."

"You've got it." Lorelai nodded.

"Thanks, Mom." Rory said and tried to keep her emotions in check. "I know I don't deserve it."

"I said you've got my support." Lorelai assured her and reached out to embrace her daughter. "I love you and I'm going to help you in whatever way I can." Lorelai whispered as she held Rory tightly. "You feel different." Lorelai noted as she and Rory separated.

"What?" Rory frowned.

"It's just…that's the first time we've hugged in almost ten years." Lorelai admitted slowly. "You feel different."

"What? Has it really been that long? Did we hug when we reconnected?"

"No" Lorelai confirmed. "You were pretty pissed off when I showed up and there was definitely no hugging involved."

"Really? I'm so sorry." Rory said and hugged her Mom again. "It wasn't me, it was the alcohol, I don't even remember. I'm so sorry."

"It will be better, Rory." Lorelai sighed.

"I want it to be." Rory nodded as she stepped back. "I want things to be better for Ryan, too. You'll take good care of him?"

"The best. Luke and I love him a lot, Rory."

"So do I." Rory agreed. "He deserves better than me and hopefully someday I can give that to him."

"Well, the best thing you can do right now is get sober and stay sober."

"Ok" Rory nodded.

Lorelai nodded in silence and looked around the room at the packed boxes. "I guess I should start taking some of this stuff down to the truck."

XXXXX

"So, I talked with your Grandparents about some stuff." Luke said and fidgeted with a packet of folded papers. "About your financial situation…"

"What?" Rory frowned.

"Last time your Mom and I were here we ran across some papers…some financial papers. I know it's your life and you can do whatever you want, but I can't help but worry about you, Rory."

"Luke, I appreciate the concern, but I'll handle it on my own." Rory interrupted.

"I understand that." Luke nodded. "But, I don't think you can escape the problems with your taxes. Your Grandpa agreed and asked a friend for help. Apparently this guy is an attorney accountant combo and is a tax expert. He'll get it all straightened out if you just sign a couple of forms."

"I want to take care of it on my own." Rory protested.

"This is really serious, Rory. You could go to jail for unpaid taxes, so I think you should let this expert help. Your Grandfather isn't going to just pay for it all, but he'll help get it straightened out and then you can figure out how to pay for it."

"Fine" Rory grunted. "Where do I sign?"

"Here" Luke answered and pulled a pen out of his shirt pocket.

"You'll keep me up to date on this? Call or write or something?"

"Absolutely." Luke agreed. "Hopefully we'll figure something out soon."

"Yeah, if not I guess I'll be doing some time in the slammer." Rory joked. "At least I won't have access to alcohol and risk drinking again."

"Don't joke like that." Luke said firmly. "Things will get better, Rory."

"Ok, bathroom is all clean." Lorelai said as she wandered into the living room. "That was the last of the cleaning, so anything else that needs to go down to the truck?"

"Just one last box." Rory said and pointed to a box by the front door.

"I've got it." Luke quickly answered and shoved the papers back into his pocket and picked up the box.

"So, anything else that needs to be done? You've got your bag packed for rehab?"

"Yes, everything's all taken care of." Rory nodded. "My ride should be here any minute, so I guess this is it."

"You can do this, Rory." Lorelai assured her. "You can write or call whenever you get the chance."

"I will." Rory nodded again before she remembered one last thing she had to do. "Hold on a sec." She said and disappeared into Ryan's bedroom before returning with a wrapped box. "Ryan's birthday is coming up."

"Two weeks" Lorelai stated.

"I really wish I could be there with him, but I don't think that's possible. I feel really bad about missing his birthday, but I got him something. I know it doesn't make up for me being gone, but it's a little something. Money is pretty tight for me right now, but it's more a sentimental thing anyway." Rory explained and handed the box to her Mother. "Ryan really loves this Italian restaurant a few blocks away and I noticed they just started selling T-shirts with the restaurant name on them, so I got one for Ryan. Maybe he'll remember the good times we had there."

"I'm sure he will." Lorelai agreed.

"There's also a letter and a card inside." Rory said and shook her head. "I just…want him to know that I love him and I'm really sorry."

"He knows, kid." Lorelai whispered before hugging Rory. "He loves you and I love you. We're all pulling for you and we'll support you in whatever way we can."

"Thanks, Mom." Rory said and pulled back before wiping the corner of her eye.

"Ok, well, I guess I should be going."

"I'll meet you down at the truck in a second. I need to grab one last thing." Rory said and disappeared again.

Lorelai frowned at Rory's awkwardness, but went down to the truck with Ryan's birthday present in hand.

XXXXX

Luke slammed the tailgate of his truck and looked at all the boxes to make sure they were secure. Lorelai smiled at him as she opened the truck door and put a box inside. Luke turned to find Rory standing on the sidewalk holding what looked like a photo album and a shoe box.

"Can you do me another favor, Luke? Could you give these pictures to Ryan?" She asked.

"Sure" Luke nodded and took them from her.

"And this…" Rory hesitated before reaching into her back pocket and handing Luke a small envelope. "These are pictures of Jess that were mixed in with the others. I took them out, so Ryan wouldn't run across them and start asking questions. You and Mom can decide what you want to do with them."

"Sure" Luke nodded and took the envelope. He handed them to Lorelai, who opened the passenger door of the truck before placing the album and shoe box on the seat. She placed the small envelope in the glove box and shut the truck door. Luke looked at Rory and tried to think of something to say.

"Thank you, Luke." Rory said and suddenly reached out and hugged him. "Thank you for everything."

"You're welcome" Luke said and awkwardly hugged her back, glancing at Lorelai to see if everything was ok before they parted and Rory took a few steps back. Luke started to walk around to the other side of the truck and stopped before turning to look back at Rory. "Hey, Rory?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't screw this up."

"I won't" She said firmly.

Luke nodded and climbed into the truck while Lorelai gave Rory another quick hug.

"I love you, Rory." She said before wiping her eye and quickly getting into the truck as Luke started it and drove off. Lorelai looked in the side mirror and watched Rory standing on the sidewalk, her image getting smaller and smaller as Luke drove.

"This is the right thing, right?" Lorelai questioned.

"It's the right thing." Luke nodded and grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly.


	24. Chapter 24

Luke unloaded the last box from his truck and huffed as he set it down in the garage.

"Last one?" Lorelai asked as she entered the garage with a glass of water for Luke.

"That's it." Luke nodded and took the glass. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"I put the photo album, pictures, and Ryan's birthday present upstairs under our bed." Luke said.

"Good idea." Lorelai agreed. "Hey, you want to go look through the pictures before we go pick Ryan up from my parents?"

"Sure." Luke nodded and locked up the garage before following her through the house to their bedroom.

Lorelai retrieved the album, shoe box, and envelope from under the bed before placing them on the middle of the bed. She joined Luke in sitting up against the headboard before snuggling against him. "Where should we start?" She asked as they both starred at the objects.

"Probably with the album. I'd image Rory kept that up before things got rough."

"Good point." Lorelai agreed and picked up the album. She held it tightly in her lap for a moment before opening the cover and looking at the first page. "Oh my gosh" Lorelai whispered as she looked at a picture of a newborn Ryan, taken moments after he was born. "Look at how little he was."

"Wow" Luke mumbled as he looked at the picture before Lorelai turned the page. The next picture was of Rory holding Ryan for the first time. "She looks so young in that picture." Luke observed.

Lorelai nodded and flipped to the next page and burst out laughing as she saw a picture of Ryan wearing a small bowl on his head and applesauce all over his face after what looked like a failed attempt to feed himself. She couldn't help but smile at the mess Ryan had made.

They continued to look through the pictures, laughing at some, crying at others until they worked their way through the photo album and the photos in the shoe box.

"Should we look at the envelope pictures?" Luke asked.

Lorelai sighed and picked up the envelope and removed a small stack of pictures. "Not much here" She noted and began to count them. "Twenty pictures."

"That's it?" Luke asked.

"Yup." Lorelai sighed and looked at the first picture. It was of Jess and Rory at a park in what she assumed was New York. "This must have been taken right after Rory took off with him."

"And this one too" Luke said as he picked up the next one. "Are they in chronological order?"

"Looks like it" Lorelai confirmed as she held up a picture of Jess and a very pregnant Rory.

The next picture struck a nerve with both of them. It was a very young looking Jess and Rory sitting on a hospital bed holding a newborn Ryan.

"They look happy and scared." Lorelai noticed.

"Jess has that look in his eye." Luke frowned.

"What look?"

"Like he's going to take off. He looks about ready to bolt."

"Rory looks like she needs me." Lorelai observed. "Her eyes have that look like she's overwhelmed and needs help, but won't ask for it. I should have been there for her."

"Lorelai, we've been over this before. You've got to stop beating yourself up over this. She stopped calling you and never reached out. How could you have been there for her when you didn't have any idea of how to find her?"

"I don't know, Luke. I'm her Mother and I should have been there for her. You're right, but I'll always feel guilty for how things turned out."

"Maybe, but it's not your fault." He said firmly and picked up the next picture. "It's more Jess' fault than anyone else's. Geez, look at him here. Wearing that stupid leather jacket and holding his kid so awkwardly. He looks like he's going to drop him."

"He's freaked out." Lorelai noted sympathetically. "He's just a kid himself there."

"You're actually defending him?" Luke scoffed.

"No, but I can see the fear in his eyes and relate a bit. Granted, I didn't really have the option of leaving when Rory was a baby, but I can relate to the initial sense of fear and doubt. It's not easy having a kid when you're young."

"Yeah, but it's not an excuse to run off." Luke frowned. "You don't just up and run off when things are hard. Jess should have called and asked me for help. We would have helped them."

"Yes, we would have." Lorelai agreed. "There are so many things I wish were different, but we can't really change it, can we? I suppose all we can do is help Ryan and take care of him."

"And support Rory."

"Yes" Lorelai nodded. "Is it horrible of me to have a little doubt about all this?"

"No, not really." Luke thought. "I know you truly want the best for Rory and want her to do well, but you have to prepare yourself in case it doesn't. After all this time, you can't just think Rory will completely change. People don't typically change that much overnight. It's going to take time."

"I guess you're right." Lorelai sighed.

"Is there something else?" Luke wondered. "You're not saying everything."

Lorelai frowned and hesitated before revealing her feelings. "It's just that…well, to be honest…I'm still pissed at Rory. She screwed everything up. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. This wasn't how I imagined being a Grandmother. First of all, I thought it would be when I was a little older. Then I thought Rory would be out of college and married. I'd help her set up a nursery and help her when the baby was born. I never thought I'd be out of her life for almost ten years and have to pick up the pieces of her broken life! It wasn't supposed to be like this and I'm pissed at Rory for it."

"It's ok to be pissed." Luke agreed. "It's a crappy situation."

"I wish it wasn't so crappy."

"But it is." Luke said solemnly. "The best thing we can do is be supportive of Rory and take care of Ryan."

"You're right." Lorelai agreed.

"So, what do we do with all these pictures?" Luke changed the subject as he began putting them away.

"Ryan would probably like to see them."

"But not the pictures of Jess, right?" Luke suggested.

"Maybe we should show them to him." Lorelai contemplated. "I don't really like the idea of hiding Jess from Ryan. It's not like we don't know anything about Jess, you know. We know where he is and how to contact him, so it's almost like we're holding out on Ryan, in a way."

"I thought we were protecting Ryan."

"We are." Lorelai agreed. "I just don't want to cross the line from protecting him to hiding his Father. I think Rory's done enough of that."

"Rightly so"

"Oh, I totally agree." Lorelai nodded. "But I think we need to reconsider it."

"I can't believe you're saying that."

"Well, in light of recent circumstances I think we need to reconsider our stance on Jess."

"Ok" Luke said hesitantly. "We'll ask Ryan if he wants to see the pictures of his Father and then go from there."

"Sounds like a good plan to me. We won't push Ryan one way or the other."

XXXXX

"That was Rory." Lorelai said as she set her cell phone down on the kitchen counter.

"She's ok?" Luke asked as he emptied the dishwasher and put the dishes away.

"Yeah, she couldn't talk long, but she wanted to let us know that she got there ok."

"Good" Luke nodded.

"Yeah" Lorelai sighed. "Now the hard part begins."

"But she's already taken the hardest step by going there." Luke pointed out.

"Yeah" Lorelai sighed.

XXXXX

"Hey, Luke? It's Jess." He said. "Remember when you said you'd contact me about Ryan?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, it's been over a month and you've been pretty quiet." Jess explained. "I want to see him."

"Jess" Luke sighed. "Why are you being so persistent with this?"

"Like I said, I want to see my Son." Jess insisted. "He's got a Birthday coming up."

"You remember that?"

"Of course I remember. I was there when he was born."

Luke sighed as he tried to think of a way out of this. "Jess, it's not a good time."

"You keep saying that, Luke. When is it going to be a good time? I don't want to keep waiting. I'm ready to see him again."

"Maybe he's not ready for you." Luke suggested. "He's just a little boy, Jess. He's been through a hell of a lot this year and you showing up won't make it any better."

"You're saying I'd be bad for him?" Jess questioned.

"You left, didn't you?" Luke spat back. "What makes you think he'll want to meet you?"

"Kids usually want to know their Father at some point. Maybe it's good for me to show up now. I might actually add some stability to his life."

"By just showing up randomly?" Luke scoffed. "Jess, Rory went to rehab." Luke blurted out.

"Oh…." Jess sighed.

"Yeah. It was just a week or so ago. Ryan has taken it really well, but he is still adjusting to the situation. I think he's scared that Rory won't change. He loves her a lot, you know." Luke explained.

"She's his Mother. He cares a lot about her." Jess agreed, thinking of his feelings toward Liz when he was that age.

"Just give us a bit more time, Jess. Lorelai and I truly are going to talk with Ryan about you. Rory gave us some pictures of you that she'd been holding onto. We're going to ask Ryan if he wants to see them and gage his reaction. He has to express interest in seeing you before we arrange anything. I don't want to force him into anything he doesn't want to do."

"I understand." Jess nodded. "But you'll let him know that I expressed interest in seeing him? I'm ready to see him whenever he's ready. Name a time and place and I'll be there."

"Ok" Luke agreed. "I can do that."

"Thanks, Luke." Jess said. "I'll call you back in a week."

"Sure" Luke agreed before hanging up the phone.


	25. Chapter 25

Lorelai held Ryan's Birthday present from Rory in her hands and knocked on his bedroom door.

"Come in" Ryan said and looked up from his book as Lorelai entered the room.

"I have something for you." Lorelai smiled at set the present on the foot of Ryan's bed as she sat down next to it.

"My Birthday isn't for a couple more days." Ryan smirked as he eyed the gift.

"I thought it was something you'd want to open in private. Your Mom gave it to me when Grandpa and I moved her stuff. She said it wasn't much, but she wanted you to know she didn't forget or anything." Lorelai explained. "I'll leave you alone for a few minutes so you can have some privacy. I'll be out in the kitchen if you want to find me after." Lorelai said and left Ryan's room, shutting the door behind her.

Lorelai walked around the kitchen a few times before starting a new pot of coffee. Luke was supposed to be home any minute and startled her when he walked through the front door.

"Hey" Luke greeted her and kissed her lightly. "What's up? You seem nervous."

"I gave Ryan his birthday present from Rory. He's in there now." Lorelai said and gestured toward Ryan's bedroom door.

"He hasn't said anything yet? Should we go in?" Luke wondered.

"No, give him a minute alone. He needs some time to process. I told him I'd be right out here when he was ready to talk."

"Ok, I guess I'll start dinner." Luke shrugged. "What sounds good?"

"I don't know. Maybe something that Ryan really likes; spaghetti, pancakes, macaroni."

"How about something a little more healthy than that." Luke said and began to rummage through the fridge. He came up with the ingredients for chicken fajitas and began preparing dinner. Lorelai sprang into action as Luke's assistant, gathering ingredients, and setting the table.

Ryan emerged from his bedroom as Luke and Lorelai were finishing the dinner preparations.

"Hey" Luke said as Ryan looked at the table before taking a seat. "I thought we'd have fajitas tonight for dinner. Is that ok?" Luke asked tentatively.

"Yeah, sounds good." Ryan shrugged and looked down at his plate.

"You want to talk about anything?" Lorelai asked, careful not to pry too much.

"Not right now." Ryan said quietly.

"Ok, well, let's eat." Luke shrugged and began serving.

They ate in silence as Ryan seemed to be occupied with his thoughts. Luke and Lorelai cast nervous glances at each other every few minutes until Ryan finally spoke as they were clearing plates from the table.

"Can I see the pictures?" Ryan asked.

"What pictures?" Lorelai responded, knowing full well what he was talking about.

"Mom wrote me a letter and said she gave you guys some pictures. Can I see them?"

"Of course" Lorelai nodded. "Grandpa, why don't you help me get them?" She smiled to Luke and grabbed his arm as they left the kitchen and went upstairs.

"I'm really nervous about this." Luke admitted as he took the photo album, shoe box, and small envelope of pictures out from under his and Lorelai's bed. "What if Ryan gets upset?"

"Then we'll be here to comfort him." Lorelai said firmly. "Ryan has probably seen most of these pictures before."

"It's the ones he hasn't seen that I'm worried about."

"He'll be ok." Lorelai insisted. "He's going to find out all the details about Jess someday. We should be there with him and explain things to him. I don't want him to feel like we lied to him or held anything back. He deserves to know the truth."

"You're right." Luke agreed. "The bad thing is that we don't necessarily know the whole truth. Rory's the only one who can really tell Ryan what happened with Jess."

"Right, but we'll tell him what we do know." Lorelai said before taking Luke's hand and leading him out of their room and down the stairs. Ryan was waiting on the couch and watched Luke and Lorelai as they descended the stairs and Lorelai sat down next to him. Luke stood in from of Ryan with the photo album and shoe box in his hands.

"Ryan, your Mom gave us this album and also a shoe box full of photos. I think the she just never got around to putting another album together, so the shoe box was supposed to be a temporary thing." Lorelai explained before gesturing for Luke to give the items to Ryan. Luke complied and then stepped back to his station by the fireplace.

"I used to look at this photo album once in a while." Ryan said as he ran his fingers over the cover. "When I was home alone I'd sneak it into my room and look at it. There are three pictures missing that I've never seen. I can tell because this book is full of pictures and there are three empty places. I think they were pictures of my Dad, so Mom took them out when he left."

Luke stood up straight and looked a little worried, but Lorelai moved closer to Ryan and wrapped her arm around him.

"Ryan, I want to be honest with you about something." Lorelai said calmly. "Your Mom also gave us some pictures of your Dad. She separated them from the other pictures because she didn't want you to find them. She gave us those pictures and said we could show them to you, if we wanted to. Do you want to see them?"

"Yeah" Ryan answered immediately. "You have pictures of my Dad?"

"Right here" Luke said and took the envelope out of his back pocket. Ryan jumped up and took the envelope before sitting back down next to Lorelai. He opened the envelope and held the first picture in his lap as he carefully studied it. Luke looked at Ryan for a moment before sitting on the other side of him and waiting for a reaction.

"Huh" Ryan said before Luke and Lorelai almost burst out laughing at Jess' catch phrase. "So this is what my Dad looks like."

"You look a lot like him." Lorelai pointed out.

"His name is Jess Mariano."

"You told me that before." Ryan reminded him and looked at the next picture. It was of Jess and Rory sitting on a park bench with Ryan in Jess' lap. "That's me." Ryan pointed out as his Grandparents nodded. "I don't get why he left." Ryan suddenly blurted out.

Luke and Lorelai looked at each other in shock as they tried to think of something to say.

"I don't know, bud." Lorelai finally admitted. "I think it was a complicated situation."

"Mom would never tell me why he left either. It must be really bad or something." Ryan sighed.

"No, I think it's that no one really knows why." Lorelai clarified. "It's not your fault. That's for sure."

"It's Jess' fault." Luke blurted out. "He's a jackass for leaving you and your Mom. Even if he and your Mom weren't going to be together, he should have at least stayed in the area. You didn't deserve that."

Ryan nodded and looked down at the photo, slowly tracing the edge of the photo. "Ok, I think I'm done with this for a while." Ryan suddenly said and shoved the photos onto the coffee table before jumping up and walking to his bedroom.

"Thanks" Lorelai sighed and stood up.

"You're blaming me?" Luke scoffed. "It's Jess' fault."

"I know, but you didn't have to be so harsh with Ryan. He's just a little boy, Luke."

"He's not upset with what I said, he's upset with the fact that his Father abandoned him." Luke hissed. "If I would have known what was going on back then, I'd have dragged Jess back."

"Look, I don't want to rehash this with you, Luke." Lorelai sighed and walked toward Ryan's room.

"I'll talk to him." Luke insisted as he walked past her and into Ryan's bedroom.

"Go away" Ryan insisted and held his pillow closer to his face as he lay down on his bed.

"I'm sorry if I upset you." Luke said and sat on the edge of Ryan's bed. "It makes me really angry when I think about what your Dad did. It's not your fault and I don't want you to feel bad about it." Luke paused and waited for Ryan to say something, but was answered with silence. Lorelai leaned against the door frame as Luke continued. "Ryan, I need to admit something to you. Your Dad called me the other day. He wants to see you. I told him it was up to you."

"What?" Ryan frowned and turned over so he was facing Luke. "He wants to see me?"

"Yes" Luke nodded.

"I don't want to see him." Ryan grunted.

"Ok, that's fine. You don't have to." Luke agreed.

"Why are you talking to him anyway?"

"I'm not really talking with him on a regular basis. He just called because he knew you were here and he wanted to see you."

"I don't want to see him." Ryan said firmly. "You can't make me!"

"No one is making you do anything." Lorelai assured him and joined Luke at the foot of Ryan's bed.

"I don't want to see him and you guys can't make me." Ryan insisted again.

"We won't." Luke said, somewhat shocked at Ryan's sharp tone. He didn't realize how upset this would make Ryan, so he moved up the bed, closer to Ryan and pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry." He said and held Ryan tightly.

XXXXX

Richard Gilmore looked at the papers on his desk and shifted in his seat. He had spoken with a friend who was a tax lawyer and was looking at the solution to Rory's tax problems. The matter seemed straight forward to Richard, but he thought it would be a good idea to meet with Luke and Lorelai to discuss. As he was reviewing the paper work again, Richard's secretary escorted Luke and Lorelai into his office.

"Richard" Luke nodded and shook his hand as Richard stood to great them.

"Hi, Dad." Lorelai said and gave him a small smile before everyone took their seats.

"Luke, Lorelai, thank you for taking time out of your days to make a special trip to Hartford. I appreciate it."

"No problem, Dad." Lorelai nodded. "What's going on? You sounded like there was something urgent you needed to discuss with us. Is everything ok?"

"Everything will be fine, Lorelai." Richard assured her. "I've spoken with a tax lawyer about Rory's tax problems. I believe we have a solution to the situation."

"Really?" Luke frowned.

"Yes, it's not a terribly complex issue." Richard explained. "Essentially, the main problem is that Rory hasn't filed her tax return for the last three years. The IRS estimated what her income could be, based on a number of things, and sent her a bill for unpaid taxes."

"What? Why wouldn't she file her taxes?" Lorelai frowned.

"Probably because she didn't want to deal with it." Luke answered. "It's like everything else she didn't want to do; she just ignored it."

"Well, whatever the reason, we can solve the problem." Richard interjected. "I've taken the liberty to have the missing tax returns prepared for Rory. Based on the paperwork Luke found and the information I know, they appear to be complete. Rory didn't make much money and she had a child, so her taxes are very simple. In fact, once everything is said and done, the IRS actually owes her a refund." Richard smiled.

"Really? It's that easy?" Lorelai said skeptically.

"Yes, it is." Richard nodded. "If you both look at the returns and agreed, I'll mail them in this afternoon."

"Doesn't Rory have to sign them?" Luke asked.

"No, the power of attorney form you had her sign takes care of that." Richard explained. "So, problem solved."

"Thank you, Richard." Luke said quickly. "We both really appreciate you handling this."

"It's no trouble." Richard insisted and hesitated a moment before continuing. "Have you heard anything from Rory?"

Lorelai shook her head and sighed. "Not really. She called last weekend, but didn't say much. I think she's really struggling. It's going well overall, but it's just hard at this stage. She's fighting her way through detox and learning to live without alcohol. It's going to take some time."

"I see" Richard said solemnly.

"Yeah, it's tough right now and I'm not really sure what to do." Lorelai admitted with a guarded tone in her voice. "I think we just wait for now."

"We have some visitation days coming up." Luke reminded her.

"Oh, that's right." Lorelai remembered. "I was going to tell you and Mom about it, just in case you wanted to come along or have a day with Rory. I'm not sure of the dates yet, but maybe in two weeks."

"I'll discuss it with your Mother." Richard nodded. "Well, I'm glad we got this situation taken care of." Richard said and pointed to the paperwork on his desk. "I hate to push you out, but I have another appointment coming in."

"Ok, well thanks again." Luke said and shook Richard's hand as they all stood.

"Yes, thanks so much, Dad." Lorelai added and waved as they exited his office.


	26. Chapter 26

Lorelai sighed as she started the washing machine for the third time that morning. It had been a very busy weekend at the Inn, so Lorelai had decided to take Tuesday off and relax a little. Luke took Ryan to school so Lorelai could sleep in a little before their lunch date. Lorelai woke up shortly after the boys left and quickly found herself bored. She wandered around the house and finished off a pot of coffee before she settled on doing a few household chores. She just started the last load of her and Luke's laundry and slowly wandered into Ryan's room to collect his dirty clothes.

Lorelai smiled as she walked around Ryan's room with the laundry basket balanced against her hip and picked up Ryan's clothes. He sometimes took after Jess in his housekeeping abilities and currently had clothes all over his bed and the floor. Lorelai set the laundry basket down on the bed and knelt on the floor as she picked up Ryan's jacket and folded it before she noticed a crumpled up piece of paper under Ryan's bed. She assumed it was garbage, but unfolded it just to double check. Lorelai quickly scanned the page and stopped when she realized it was a letter Rory had written to Ryan. She assumed it was in with his birthday present, which Lorelai discovered had also been shoved under his bed. She frowned as her eyes scanned the page.

_Ryan,_

_Happy Birthday, Buddy! It's hard to believe you're ten years old already. Time really does go by fast, at least when you get to be my age. Anyways, I'm really sorry I can't be with you, but I hope you understand why. It's really important that I get some treatment and get better. _

_Everything is going to be better very soon. I'll come get you when I get out and we'll be out on our own again. I don't know where we'll live, but that's not important because we have each other. It will be like when you were little. Remember how much fun we used to have? I promise that things will be really good again._

_Love you always,_

_Mom_

Lorelai scoffed as she finished reading the letter and quickly folded it up and put it in her pocket. It made her angry to think that Rory was still lying to Ryan. Lorelai knew things would never be the same for Rory and Ryan, but apparently Rory didn't know that. Rory wasn't going to just stop by and pick Ryan up before moving away with him. Going to rehab was the first step in a long journey of recovery, not a quick fix.

Lorelai stormed out of Ryan's bedroom and grabbed her purse before leaving the house and walking toward Luke's. Once she arrived, she quickly dragged him upstairs to the apartment.

"Lorelai, what's going on?" Luke protested as she released her grip on his arm.

"Luke, look at this." Lorelai insisted and forced the letter from Rory into his hand.

"This is Ryan's. Where did you find it?" Luke frowned as he scanned the letter.

"I was cleaning up Ryan's room and found it crumpled up in a ball under his bed. His birthday present was shoved under there too."

"You think he's pissed at Rory?"

"I'd say so." Lorelai said and nodded. "I remember Rory did that once when Christopher wrote her a letter. He said he was coming to visit, but then he just wrote some stupid letter instead. Rory was pissed and threw it away after she finished reading it."

"Gosh that kid is like his parents." Luke huffed before realizing what he'd said. "I didn't mean it like that. He's not going to end up like them." Luke quickly back peddled.

"It's ok. I know what you meant." Lorelai smiled softly and touched Luke's shoulder. "I see Jess in him every time Ryan smirks."

"What do we do about this letter?"

"I think we have to talk to Ryan about it." Lorelai said and shrugged.

"Lorelai, don't you think Ryan ever gets tired of talking about all this? We're always explaining and talking about why his parents screwed up and why he doesn't have a normal childhood. We love him and we're giving him a good life here, but it doesn't erase the past or make up for what he should have had. Sometimes, I just think Ryan needs the chance to be a little pissed. He has every right to be." Luke said honestly.

"You're right, but it's not good to stew over everything either. I don't want Ryan to be upset about this and not have someone to talk to. When I was growing up I always wished I'd had someone to talk to. I just want to make sure Ryan knows he can talk to us."

"And I want to make sure he knows it's ok to be upset and be pissed at the situation. It's not his fault and he deserves better. Heck, I'm pissed at the situation. I want to kill Jess." Luke huffed.

"It's not all Jess' fault." Lorelai reminded him. "I know you view Rory as a princess, but she's fallen too Luke. Ryan wouldn't be here with us if Rory hadn't royally screwed up too. You know, in all honesty, I've screwed up too. I let Rory stay in New York with Jess when I should have pulled her out of there. I should have gone and found her and let her know that she could count on me. Rory's life spun out of control because she had no one to turn to, no one she felt that she could trust." Lorelai raised her voice. "This whole thing is a complete mess. Look at that letter, Luke." Lorelai said and took the letter from Luke. "She told Ryan that everything will be ok after she gets out of rehab. She told him that everything would be like a few years ago before everything got bad. How could Rory say something like that to him? She's an alcoholic!" Lorelai yelled and began to cry. "It's never going to just be ok. She's going to struggle with this in some form or another for the rest of her life. Ryan has been permanently scarred by this and he'll never just be able to let it go. He'll always be a little on edge around her. Sure, maybe in twenty years if things do get better he and Rory will have a good relationship; that could happen. But it's not just going to happen overnight. Why is Rory filling Ryan with these lies!"

"Lorelai, calm down." Luke said quietly and hugged her. "I hate this too."

"If she thinks she can just come here and take Ryan away from us, she's wrong. Ryan's not leaving." Lorelai insisted.

"I agree." Luke nodded. "We have court ordered custody of Ryan, so she couldn't take him even if she wanted to."

Lorelai nodded and took a few steps back before taking a deep breath. "Ok, you're right. I need to relax. Ryan is with us and we're taking good care of him."

Luke nodded in agreement and was about to say something when Lorelai's cell phone rang, interrupting them. Lorelai looked at it and frowned when she didn't recognize the number.

"Hello, this is Lorelai." She said tentatively.

"Mom, hi, it's Rory."

"Rory" Lorelai frowned with concern. "How are things going?"

"Well, the first couple days were pretty rough, but it's getting better. They let me call you." Rory said, her voice sounding chipper.

"Yes" Lorelai agreed.

"Can I talk to Ryan?" Rory quickly asked.

"He's in school right now." Lorelai reminded her. "Can you call back later?"

"I don't know. They keep me on a pretty tight schedule, but I'll try. If not, I'll call on Saturday."

"Saturday is Ryan's birthday party-"

"That'll be perfect then." Rory interrupted. "I'll call and wish him a Happy Birthday."

"Ok" Lorelai reluctantly agreed.

"Hey Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"There are some visitation days coming up soon and I wanted to invite you." Rory said. "Maybe you could bring Ryan with you."

"Maybe" Lorelai lied, knowing there was no way she would take her Grandson to see his Mother in rehab. "I'll definitely be there though."

"Great. I'll give the rehab center your information so they can send you the invitation. I think they send you some rules or something too."

"Ok, sounds good."

"Yeah" Rory said and waited as awkward silence lingered. "So, I guess I'll call back when Ryan's around?"

"Yup, talk to you later, Rory."

"Bye"

"Bye" Lorelai said and hung up her cell phone.

"How did she sound?" Luke questioned.

"Oddly normal." Lorelai said, still staring at her cell phone. "It's hard to tell if she really is getting better or if she's just good at acting. Rory said they have some visitation days coming up. She wants Ryan to come, but there is no way I'm taking him without seeing her first. I won't subject him to any potential hurt."

"I don't think he should see her there at all. He's young and sometimes those rehab places are scary. He can see Rory when she gets out." Luke said firmly.

XXXXX

Lorelai cautiously crept into Ryan's bedroom that night and sat on his bed. He turned around from the desk and said, "I'm doing homework."

"I see that." Lorelai said and smiled awkwardly. "I have to talk to you about something."

"What?"

"I found this letter this morning while I was cleaning up your room." Lorelai said and handed the now infamous letter to Ryan.

He scowled at his for a moment before tossing it in the trash.

"Ryan" Lorelai said as he turned around and pretended to get back to his school work.

"It's crap" Ryan mumbled.

"Ryan" Lorelai sighed.

"I don't want to talk about it." Ryan insisted. "Just leave me alone."

"No" Lorelai said sternly. "You, young man, are more important to me than anything else in the world and I'm not going to just leave you alone. You have every right to be upset with the crappy situation you're parents left you in, but you don't get to push me away in the process. I love you, Ryan."

Ryan sat still in his chair, listening to what Lorelai was saying and trying to let go of his anger.

"Talk to me, Ryan."

"I don't want to." He whispered.

"Why not?" Lorelai said patently and adjusted herself to sit on the edge of his bed, leaning toward the desk. "You don't have to be afraid to talk to me about anything. I promise I'll listen and won't make fun of you. It's safe to talk to me."

Ryan still hesitated to say anything as Lorelai listened intently.

"I know it's hard, Ryan." Lorelai admitted. "It's hard for me too. I love your Mom a lot. When she was younger, I thought about what her future would be like. I never thought it would be like this. I thought she would be happy and successful. I thought she'd graduate from college and find someone special to spend her life with. None of that happened." Lorelai sighed. "The only bright spot in all of this is you." She turned his chair slightly and looked him in the eye before continuing. "I'm so glad I have you. Regardless of what happened in the past, I know your parents love you too. Your Grandpa and I love you so much. I have to admit something to you." She said and hesitated. "I'm not sure if I should be saying this to you, but I think you deserve honesty from me. I'm really mad at your Mom. I wish she would have called me when you were born. I would have been there for her; for you. I'm really mad that she screwed up her life by drinking. I'm really sorry that I can't fix it."

"I'm mad too." Ryan admitted through a clenched jaw. "Why did she do that?"

"I really don't know." Lorelai shrugged. "I've thought about that so many times it makes my head spin. I know that it wasn't your fault. Maybe it was my fault for not being there. I'm sorry, but I can't explain it. Grandpa may not want me to share this with you, but I actually yelled at him a couple times because I couldn't figure out how to explain your Mom's drinking."

"Did yelling at Grandpa help?" Ryan asked curiously.

"No. It just made me feel even worse because I made him feel bad." Lorelai said and shook her head. "Ryan, I just want you to know that it's ok to be upset or angry right now. I realize that I talk to you all the time about the past, but I'm not sure I ever really let you just feel. So, if you want to be mad, then be mad, ok? Just remember that you can always talk with me and Grandpa too, ok?"

"Ok" Ryan nodded before reaching out to hug Lorelai.

"Hey, what about me?" Luke said and startled them both. Neither one had noticed him leaning against the door frame for the past few minutes.

"What about you?" Lorelai smirked.

"Do I get a hug?" He asked and quickly retrieved a Luke's bag from the kitchen counter. "I brought brownies."

"Well then you definitely get a hug." Lorelai smiled.

XXXXX

"Hello?" Lorelai said as she answered her cell phone.

"Hey Mom, it's Rory."

"Hi" Lorelai said with a tight smile on her face. She quickly looked around to make sure Ryan wasn't listening before heading upstairs to her bedroom, shutting the door tightly behind her.

"It's Saturday, so I thought I'd call and talk with Ryan." Rory explained.

"Rory, I don't know." Lorelai hesitated. "It's just not the right time."

"But he's home isn't he? Please, Mom, I want to wish him a Happy Birthday." Rory pleaded.

"Your letter upset him, Rory. I just don't think it's a good idea to continue upsetting that little boy."

"Mom, please, I'm really trying here. It's been a hard week and I just want to talk to my son."

Lorelai scoffed at her daughter's selfishness. "Rory, just because you had a hard week does not mean you get to play with Ryan's emotions. He's doing good now and seems to be a bit more cheery than a few days ago. Just leave him be for now, ok?"

"But" Rory began to protest before stopping. "Fine. If that's how you want this to go, then fine. I gave the center your contact info for visitor days. You should be getting some info in the mail soon."

"Ok" Lorelai nodded.

"Bye" Rory said and hung up the phone without waiting for a reply.

**XXXXX**

**AN: Thanks for reading! I apologize for my lapse in updating and the shortness of this chapter. There is more drama to come, so stay tuned. **


	27. Chapter 27

Saturday quickly arrived and brought a flurry of activity as Luke and Lorelai set up for Ryan's Birthday. Ryan had made a few friends at school, so Luke and Lorelai suggested he invite them. The party was a small gathering compared to other birthdays that had been celebrated in the Gilmore house. However, it was filled with people who loved Ryan, so that's what mattered. Emily and Richard arrived early to spend time with Ryan before his friends occupied his time. Sookie and Jackson also arrived early to help set up the party food.

As the day went on, Lorelai couldn't help but smile at how much fun Ryan seemed to be having.

"Ryan seems to be having a fun time." Richard said as he stood next to Lorelai.

"Yeah, he is." Lorelai agreed. "It's nice to see him smile so much. He deserves to just be a kid and not have to worry about other things."

"Indeed" Richard nodded. "He's doing better in school now, too."

"Yes, he's continuing to improve. I think he may even like it now. His reading is good now, too. Thanks for helping him, Dad."

"You're welcome, Lorelai. He's a bright boy, but needs stability and a safe environment. You've provided that and now it's time to watch him flourish." Richard shrugged. "Once he gets caught up in school, he'll be at the top of his class. He'll have his choice of the top colleges, too." Richard pointed out. "Yale even."

"So, you're saying you wouldn't mind if your great grandson followed in your footsteps?"

"I wouldn't mind." Richard smirked. "I'm proud of what you've done with him, Lorelai." He said after a moment of hesitation. "You took him in under less than desirable circumstances and turned his life around. I shudder when I think of what could have happened if you weren't there."

"It wasn't my doing." Lorelai clarified. "Rory's friend called me. That's what got all this started."

"Yes, but you showed up and insisted on helping. You could have ignored the call."

"I did what I should have done years ago, Dad. I should have went to New York when Rory ran away. I thought I was just doing the whole 'tough love' thing, but it was the wrong choice in that situation."

"What you did or didn't do back then is all in the past, Lorelai." Richard interrupted her. "As much as you'd like to, you can't change it. You've done what you can and are doing right by Ryan now. That's the important thing."

Lorelai nodded, but didn't say anything as she waited for the next question she felt was coming.

"Speaking of moving forward…have you heard anything from Rory?" Richard asked carefully.

"She called." Lorelai said. "She wants me to come visit her soon. I haven't decided if I'm going yet."

"I can understand that." Richard nodded. "You should go though. I'm sure Rory could use the support."

"Yeah, but I just wonder what her condition is like. She seems better, but I'm afraid it's just a front." Lorelai admitted and looked down at the ground.

Richard nodded in agreement and paused a moment before saying something. "I suppose the only way you'll find out the truth is to go see her. Either she's getting better or not. You won't know until you go and see for yourself."

"I guess you're right." Lorelai agreed.

XXXXX

"So" Emily said as she leaned against the counter near Lorelai. Lorelai quickly finished dumping another bag of potato chips into a bowl before looking at her Mother. "Have you heard anything from Rory? How is she doing at the treatment center?"

"Mom, I do not want to discuss that at this very moment." Lorelai said with a hint of anger in her voice. "Let's just be happy today."

"Lorelai" Emily said sternly. "I was merely inquiring about my Granddaughter's health. There's no need to snap at me."

"I'm sorry, but your Granddaughter is being a royal pain in the ass these days, so I'd rather not talk about her." Lorelai fumed and picked up the bowl.

"So, you've heard from her?"

"Yes, Mom. She wants me to bring Ryan by so they can pal around together."

"What?" Emily frowned. "Ryan shouldn't be going there. Who knows what kind of people are at that treatment center and the things he could witness. He's just a little boy."

"That's exactly what I thought, so I pretty much told her no."

"Good" Emily nodded.

"Did we actually just agree on something?" Lorelai scoffed.

"It's not the first time. Don't act so surprised, Lorelai." Emily huffed.

"I know, but it still amazes me that two people as different as us could actually agree on something."

"Well, it happened. Alert the media." Emily sighed.

XXXXX

Emily Gilmore walked into the Dragonfly Inn and quickly moved toward her destination with determination in her walk.

"Ah! Hello Ms. Gilmore." Michel smiled as she walked up to his desk.

"Hello, Michel. Could you tell me where Lorelai is?" She said politely.

"I believe she is in her office pretending to do something important." Michel rolled his eyes.

"Thank you" Emily said before quickly walking away and toward Lorelai's office. She ignored his protests and knocked on the office door.

Lorelai opened the door and was surprised to see her Mother standing there. Emily didn't wait for an invitation and took a seat in front of Lorelai's desk.

"Lorelai, your office is messy." Emily observed as she noticed papers scattered around the desk.

"Hello to you too, Mom." Lorelai whispered and walked around the desk to face her Mother. "Is this conversation going to be long enough to necessitate coffee?"

"Coffee would be lovely" Emily smiled and Lorelai shook her head and went to refill her own cup and grab one for Emily.

When Lorelai returned, she set a mug in front of Emily before taking a seat in her office chair.

"Lorelai, when serving coffee to a guest it's proper to use a cup and sauce, not whatever mug you have lying around the kitchen." Emily said.

"Really, Mom? Let's just get to why you're here. What did I do or not do this time?" Lorelai huffed.

"You don't need to take that tone with me, Lorelai. I'm here for your own good." Emily explained. "I want to talk with you about a very serious matter and I hope you hear what I have to say in its entirety before jumping in and making jokes or smart remarks. Do you agree to those terms?"

"Yes, Mother." Lorelai sighed.

"Very well." Emily nodded. "I've noticed your behavior lately and I can't say I like what I see. You've become more distant than usual and you're a bit on edge. Now, I know there has been a lot of change in your life recently, so I can't entirely blame you. However, I don't want to see this continue and have an impact on little Ryan. He needs you to be strong and guide his path."

"What are you getting at?" Lorelai frowned.

"No interruptions, please." Emily insisted. "I think I told you once about one of my DAR friend's son being in a situation similar to Rory's. Well, I spoke with her about it and how she's coping with everything. It's been a real struggle for her, as a Mother, to watch her child go through that. I can see from your behavior that you've also been struggling, Lorelai. You have doubts about how you raised Rory and if you did your job correctly. I can tell you that you have and that Rory made her own choices, but it probably doesn't mean much coming from me. So, I asked my friend how I could help you. She recommended a support group of some sort. I have some pamphlets in my purse." Emily explained and retrieved the materials.

Lorelai took them and frowned. "Al-Anon? Is this like AA?"

"Yes" Emily nodded. "It's a group for family members of addicts where they can talk together in a safe environment. You'd be able to talk with other parents who can help you work through your emotions."

"My emotions?" Lorelai sneered. "Mother, I don't think you have any right to come here and tell me about my emotions. I'm dealing with this the best I can and you pointing out my short comings is not helping."

"This is for your own good, Lorelai." Emily insisted. "I know this will help you. Just give it a chance."

"Yeah, right." Lorelai scoffed. "This is for me to worry about, not you. I appreciate the concern, but I'm doing just fine on my own."

"Ok, fine." Emily backed off. "I can see that you're not receptive to my suggestions, so I'll be on my way. Keep that brochure and call the number on the back if you like. I'm only trying to help."

"Thanks." Lorelai huffed as Emily excused herself from Lorelai's office and from the Dragonfly Inn.

Lorelai stewed in her office the rest of the afternoon before heading out early through the backdoor. She was in no mood to deal with anyone after her Mother's appearance, so she skipped checking in at Luke's and went straight home. Surprisingly, both Luke and Ryan were already home. Luke was working on dinner and Ryan was working away on his homework. Lorelai greeted Ryan before shutting the door to his bedroom so she could talk to Luke about her afternoon.

"Can you believe this?" Lorelai scoffed and threw the pamphlets down on the table in front of Luke. "My Mom thinks I need some sort of group therapy!"

Luke briefly looked at the pamphlets before shrugging his shoulders. "Might not be a bad idea."

"Oh my gosh? Are you agreeing with my Mother?" Lorelai scoffed. "I can't believe this. Does everyone think I'm crazy or something?"

"No one thinks you're crazy." Luke insisted. "Can I share my thoughts?"

"Sure" Lorelai calmed down a little.

"Well" He hesitated. "It's just that you've been a little distant lately. Maybe even a little irritable."

"I have a lot on my mind."

"Exactly. No one blames you for being upset about Rory." Luke said quietly before wrapping his arms around her. "It's really hard and maybe this group can help you process a bit."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Well, fine then. I'm crazy, check me into the hospital." Lorelai said and threw her arms up in the air.

"You're being a bit dramatic." Luke pointed out. "No one is saying you're crazy, at least not seriously as in mentally ill or anything. It's just that you've got a lot to deal with and it would be good to talk about it with people who are going through similar things. You know you can always talk to me, but I'm not sure I can help you with this. At least, not the help you could get from this group. Just give it a try, Lorelai. If you go and hate it, then quit. You're not being sent to an institution or anything. We're just saying you should talk about all this with someone who understands."

"Ok, but I'll probably just go the one time." Lorelai insisted.

"That's all I'm asking." Luke said before hugging her tightly.

XXXXX

"Richard?" Emily said as she entered his study.

"Yes, Emily." Richard said without looking up from his book.

"Richard, please set that book down and look at me while I'm speaking to you. This is important."

Richard nodded and set the book down as Emily took a seat in the chair next to him.

"Richard, I think we should go visit Rory." She said and waited for his response.

"In rehab?" Richard frowned.

"Yes. Lorelai called and said they have some family visitation days coming up and asked if we'd like to use a day. We can go with her or by ourselves."

"No" Richard said firmly. "I don't want to see Rory like that."

"Like what?"

"Broken." Richard said sternly. "I don't want to see her sad or hurting. I want to see our bright beautiful Granddaughter, not a shell of her former self. I won't go to that place."

"It's important that we support her, Richard. I don't like seeing her like that anymore than you do, but this is important. It could help her if she knows we support her." Emily tried to explain.

"Emily, I understand the sentiment, but I won't go to that place. Send her flowers and a book from me, but I won't go there. You're free to go if you'd like, but count me out." He said firmly and picked up his book.

"She's not in the hospital, Richard. Rory is not going to get better with a nice card and well wishes. We have to play a role here." Emily insisted.

"Like I said, count me out." Richard said and looked back down at his book.

"Fine" Emily huffed and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.


	28. Chapter 28

**AN: I know, it's been way to long since I update. I'm sorry. Hopefully I'll have more time to write soon. (And hopefully you're reviews will inspire me. Hint hint.)**

"I don't see why I'm doing this." Lorelai scoffed as she dug through her purse, looking for her keys. She had finally agreed to go to one of the Al-Anon groups Emily had suggested, but she kept insisting that she didn't need help. Lorelai shifted in her heels, her tired feet now making her question her decision not to change out of her work clothes.

"Because it's a good idea." Luke assured her and wrapped his arm around her waist as they stood next to each other in the foyer. "It will be good to talk."

"I guess." Lorelai sighed and finally pulled her keys out of her purse. "Promise there will be pie waiting for me when I get home?" She asked seriously.

"There will be more than pie…" Luke whispered in a husky voice as he leaned closer to her.

"Luke" Lorelai pretended to be shocked and hit him with her purse. "There is a little boy in the other room."

"I know, but he'll be asleep when you get home…" Luke whispered again.

"Maybe if that pie is really good." Lorelai smirked before she turned and headed toward the front door.

Luke was quick to follow and grabbed her elbow. He turned her around and kissed her firmly before she relaxed and kissed him back. They pulled apart as Luke said, "I love you. Remember to keep an open mind and that it's a safe place for you to talk."

"Ok" Lorelai sighed.

XXXXX

Lorelai shifted in her seat as she looked around at the group of people gathered in the church basement. She was a little uncomfortable with the location, but she became almost jittery when the group formed their chairs into a circle to allow for a more open discussion. Lorelai had been silent for the first half of the meeting until the woman next to her asked her to join in.

"Hi, my name is Lorelai."

"Hi, Lorelai." The group echoed, sending a chill down Lorelai's spine.

"Uh, sorry, I'm new. I don't really know what to say." Lorelai admitted.

"It's ok." The woman next to her said. "We're all here because we have an addict in our lives. Just start with the basics and say whatever you'd like."

"Ok, well, my daughter is an alcoholic." Lorelai said and winced. "Sorry, but it's still hard for me to say out loud. I'm still coming to terms with it all."

"You just found out?" A man asked.

"Yeah, well, a while ago." Lorelai nodded before explaining the whole story. "My daughter, Rory is her name. She ran away with her high school boyfriend just after her first year of college. They moved to New York. Rory and I fought a lot about it and it ended up driving us apart. We didn't speak for years. Then, out of the blue, I got a phone call from Rory's friend. She said Rory was in trouble and needed my help. Of course, I jumped at the chance and went to find Rory in New York. I also found out that Rory had a Son that I never knew about; Ryan was eight years old. Anyway, I went to her apartment and was revolted by the life Rory was leading. Honestly, I couldn't stand it. My perfect little girl was an alcoholic and was quickly dragging that little boy down with her. It broke my heart and made me incredibly angry at the same time." Lorelai admitted and stopped when she realized she was rambling on.

"Seeing your child like that is horrible." The woman next to her admitted.

"My Daughter went through a rough patch in college after my wife and I split up." A man spoke up. "At least, that's what I thought it was at the time. It seems like lots of kids go through tough times and don't know how to deal with it."

"My Rory didn't go through any tough times." Lorelai fumed. "I've done everything on my own. I left my parents' house when I was really young and Rory was just a baby. I started from scratch and made something of myself so that Rory could have everything I didn't. She had everything, everything! It was all just handed to her and she threw it all away. What did I ever do to deserve that!"

"It's ok to be angry." A man across the circle from Lorelai spoke up. "I was really angry when I first came here. My Son is the addict in my life."

"Did he run away and not talk to you for years?"

"No, but he constantly asks me and my wife for money so he can support his habit." The man said.

"Rory kept everything from me. We were best friends when she was growing up and she just cut me out of her life. She had no intention of letting me back in. It was one of her friends who called me for help when things got really bad. I had a Grandson that I knew nothing about! He's ten years old and I'm just getting to know him."

"I have three Grandchildren that my alcoholic daughter won't let me see." Another woman spoke up. "I keep trying to help her, but she refuses to admit she has a problem. It's ok to be hurt by your child's actions."

"But it doesn't make sense that Rory did this to herself." Lorelai said, irritation in her voice.

"She did this to you too." The woman explained. "It's ok to admit that you're hurt by it. We've all experienced hurt from the addicts in our lives."

Lorelai sat back in her chair as the woman's words hit her like a ton of bricks. "I don't want to be hurt. I want her to be better."

"We all do. We all want them to just snap out of it and be the people we want them to be." A man said softly. "But, Lorelai, I think that's part of what we're all struggling with together here. We can't force our addicts to just snap out of it. It doesn't work like that."

XXXXX

Ryan and Luke were making quick work of the dishes together when Ryan suddenly stopped and looked down at the sink.

"What's up?" Luke asked, not looking up from the dish he was currently drying.

"Grandpa, can I ask you something?" Ryan frowned.

"Always" Luke nodded.

"Well" Ryan hesitated. "It's about my Dad. Do you think I could maybe talk to him or meet him? You know him, right?"

Luke stopped and leaned against the counter to steady himself as he thought. Ryan hadn't uttered a word about Jess since the night he'd seen pictures of him. Luke thought he didn't want anything to do with Jess, but tonight's sudden questions proved him wrong.

"Grandpa?" Ryan said and looked up at Luke, waiting for a response.

"Well, Ryan, it's complicated." Luke sighed. "I do know you Dad. In fact, I think we need to have a conversation about that before you meet him or talk to him."

"Ok, after we finish the dishes?" Ryan suggested and Luke nodded in agreement. They finished up in record time and Luke soon escorted Ryan to the living room to have conversation he'd been putting off for far too long.

"I'm going to be honest with you about some stuff, Ryan." Luke explained and sat down on the couch next to his Grandson. "This is kind of weird, so please don't be freaked out or anything."

"What? Is my Dad some sort of creeper or something?" Ryan worried.

"No, no. It's just a complicated situation. He lived here when he was a teenager and dated your Mom. He was kind of a troublemaker back then and not everyone liked him." Luke explained.

"Including Grandma." Ryan interrupted.

Luke sighed and slowly nodded in confirmation. "Your Mom knew a side of your Father that the rest of us really didn't get to see. Grandma didn't hate him or anything, just didn't trust him with her little girl. I think it felt dangerous to her."

"Dangerous?" Ryan frowned, trying to understand.

"Grandma didn't want anything bad to happen to her little girl. It's hard to explain, but it's a Mother's natural instinct to protect her child from anything that could hurt her. Grandma got the impression that your Father may somehow hurt your Mom."

"She turned out to be right." Ryan said, completing the thought Luke was holding back.

Luke sighed again, unsure what to say next. He put an arm around Ryan and hugged him. It was becoming more difficult for Luke to explain the situation to Ryan without telling him every little detail. "Ryan, this situation really sucks. I don't know why it happened." Luke admitted. "There isn't anything I can say to make it better. Your parents screwed up, ok?"

"But, why?"

"I don't know." Luke admitted, the effort of his words evident on his face. "I can't really explain it."

"Do you think maybe my Mom and Dad can explain it?"

"Maybe." Luke shrugged. "But probably not. They will probably tell you a lot of reasons why it happened and try to justify their actions, but it may not really help you. I'd like to think they can explain everything, but the reality is that you may never fully understand it or have all the answers. If I could give them to you I would."

Ryan nodded and looked down at his shoes. Luke kicked himself inwardly for not admitting his real relationship with Jess to Ryan, but he just couldn't seem to find the words to express it. "Tell you what, bud. You think about it some more and I'll see what I can do to get a hold of your Dad. If you think it over and still want to meet him, I'll try to help make it happen."

"Ok" Ryan agreed.

"Good. Now, I think it's time for bed."

XXXXX

Lorelai drove home in silence; her whole body slightly slumped forward. The meeting had been emotionally exhausting and all she wanted to do was crawl in bed with Luke and cuddle. She slowly turned her car into the driveway and parked behind Luke's truck. The light in Ryan's room was out and she assumed he was already asleep. She slowly forced her tired body out of the car, up the driveway, and into the house before Luke greeted her.

"Hey, how was it?" He asked, looking tired himself.

"Ugh" Lorelai groaned.

"What does that mean?" Luke frowned.

"It means I'm exhausted and want to go straight to bed." Lorelai said as she set her purse down on the entryway table and removed her coat.

"I baked that pie you wanted." Luke reminded her.

"Sounds good, but not tonight."

"What? Are you ok? I don't think you've ever turned down pie." Luke asked in a concerned tone.

"She's not just going to get better." Lorelai said as she climbed the stairs, Luke right behind her. "Rory isn't just going to snap out of this and go back to her old self. This is going to be a long struggle and we're only at the beginning. Luke, I don't know if I have the energy to walk this journey with her."

Luke followed her into their bedroom and shut the door as Lorelai began to change her clothes. "Lorelai" He said to get her attention. "I know this is going to be really hard, but you have to do this. We have to do this. We owe it to Ryan to help Rory in any way that we can. You know I love Rory as my own daughter, which is why this is so hard for me too. She hurt me too. She's hurt all of us, but we have to help her. We have to find a way to change her life. It's going to be really tough and we may end up back where we started, but we have to do this." Luke ranted as he paced the room. Finally, he stopped to see Lorelai standing on her side of the bed, arms crossed over her chest, wearing hello kitty pajamas. Luke couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"What?" Lorelai frowned.

"I'm sorry" Luke said and regained his composure. "We're having a serious discussion, I'm in a full blown rant, and you're wearing hello kitty pajamas."

"They're comfortable!" Lorelai protested.

"And completely ridiculous. Lorelai, you're a grown woman." Luke snickered before shaking his head and removing his clothes. Clad only in his boxers, he tossed everything into the hamper and crawled into bed next to Lorelai. "I don't think Ryan has pajamas with cartoon characters and he's only ten years old." Luke pointed out.

"Ryan is a boy. Boys don't understand hello kitty. Besides, it's cute and comfortable." Lorelai joked as she snuggled next to Luke. "I was thinking about something on the way home tonight."

"Yeah?"

"I think I want to go visit Rory." Lorelai stated.

"I think Ryan wants to meet Jess." Luke blurted out.

"What?" They both responded in unison.


	29. Chapter 29

"I think it's a crazy idea." Lorelai said and crossed her arms over her chest. "Jess is only going to hurt Ryan."

Luke had called Lorelai away from the Inn for the afternoon and requested they discuss the subject of Jess and Ryan away from the town gossips. She reluctantly agreed, not wanting to discuss the subject at all.

"I think you're wrong." Luke insisted and leaned back against the kitchen counter. "Jess has changed and I think we need to let him see Ryan. Think about Ryan in this. Don't you think he deserves to know his Father?"

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of. He'll meet Jess and we'll lose him." Lorelai sighed. "I know I'm being overprotective, but I just want Ryan to have a normal life with us for a while. I don't want Jess to wreck it all."

"Lorelai, he's changed. He has his act together now. He's grown up and I think he deserves a chance."

"But he already tried to take Ryan from us in our custody battle. Who's to say he won't try that again." Lorelai pointed out.

"I don't think he will as long as we come to some sort of agreement. Lorelai, Jess wants to see his Son and have some sort of relationship with him. I really think Jess regrets his behavior and is trying to find a way to be in Ryan's life." Luke insisted.

"Luke, I just don't know if I trust him around Ryan." Lorelai admitted.

"Maybe we should meet with Jess. It might make you, and me, feel better if we talked to him first."

Lorelai stopped and thought for a moment. "Actually, I think that's a good idea."

"That way you can put your mind at ease and hopefully see that Jess' intentions are good here."

"And if not, then we've avoided putting Ryan through more pain." Lorelai pointed out before going to the closet and grabbing her purse and coat. "Now, if we're done with this conversation, I have to get going. I'm supposed to be seeing Rory today."

"I remembered." Luke nodded. "I'll get Ryan from school and watch him tonight, so take your time."

Lorelai sighed and turned around to hug him. "I'm sorry I'm so tense today."

"I understand." Luke nodded again before kissing her cheek. "Remember I love you."

"Love you too."

"Tell Rory I said 'hi'"

"I will." Lorelai nodded as she gathered her things and went out the door.

XXXXX

The first thing Lorelai noticed was how much Rory's physical appearance had changed. Her hair was cut short; down around her shoulders. Her makeup was lightly done. She'd gained a little weight, but in her situation, it was good; she looked very healthy. The Rory walking toward Lorelai was a complete contrast in physical appearance than what she had been several months ago.

"Hi, Mom." Rory smiled as she came to a stop in front of Lorelai. She suddenly stepped forward and hugged Lorelai, catching her off guard for a minute before Lorelai hugged her back.

"Hi" Lorelai finally said as they parted and stepped back from one another. "How are you?" Lorelai asked with hesitation in her voice.

"I'm good." Rory nodded. "Do you want to take a walk? There is a garden we can walk through."

"Sure" Lorelai nodded and followed as Rory led the way. They walked for a little bit, but soon found a bench to sit on.

Rory broke the silence a moment later, "How is Ryan?"

"He's doing well. He seems to be adjusting to Stars Hollow." Lorelai informed her. "He's been doing great in school. In fact, your Grandfather has been coming over almost every day to help Ryan with his reading."

"His reading?" Rory frowned. "What do you mean?"

Lorelai sighed and shook her head at her Daughter's obliviousness. "Well, when Ryan came to live with me and Luke we enrolled him in school. They tested him and found that he could barely read and was quickly falling way behind all the other kids. So, your Grandfather has been working with him and helping him catch up."

"Oh…I didn't know he was so far behind." Rory said quietly. "I'm sorry."

Lorelai wanted to jump in and berate Rory for how she treated Ryan, but now didn't seem like the time for that particular conversation. "Well, we're working on it now. Ryan will be fine, don't worry." Lorelai said quickly. "Luke's even been helping Ryan with his math homework, so everyone is pitching in to make sure that little guy does well."

"I never really pictured Luke liking a kid." Rory noted.

"Things change." Lorelai shrugged. She certainly didn't want to have that conversation either.

"Have you and Luke ever thought about having kids together?" Rory asked.

"Yes" Lorelai answered and tried to push her feelings down before they spilled out. She hated having this conversation with people. "I don't really think it's in the cards." Lorelai said and tried to shrug the subject off.

"What? Oh, I'm sure it is." Rory insisted innocently. "You and Luke would have such cute kids."

"We tried, Rory. It didn't work." Lorelai said sharply. "We wanted kids so badly, but it just wasn't meant to be. It took so long to get pregnant and we were both so happy when it finally happened, but it didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. I had a miscarriage. We grieved and were surprised when I got pregnant again right away, but it ended in another miscarriage. Luke and I were both completely devastated and we decided that we didn't want to go through that pain again. So, we just gave up that dream."

"Oh, Mom, I'm so sorry." Rory apologized. "I'm sorry for bringing that up. It must have awful. If you don't mind my asking, how long ago was that?"

"It was pretty terrible." Lorelai nodded and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "I can't remember if I've told you this or not, but Luke and I have been married for seven years. We wanted to have kids right away since we weren't getting any younger. It took two years to get pregnant the first time. The second miscarriage was just about four years ago. Something about having Ryan around has made up for that, though. It's deferent because we're Grandparents, but we get to do some of the stuff we missed out on. Luke has a little buddy to do guy stuff with."

"That's good, I guess." Rory hesitated. "I don't want to get too far ahead of myself here, but I do want to talk about Ryan's living situation. Someday, not right now, but someday I'd like to have Ryan living with me again. I'm doing good here and getting myself back together."

"You look good, Rory." Lorelai smiled softly. "I wanted to talk about Ryan too. If you think you're ready, we could try some regular visits with Ryan. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I'm trying to protect Ryan. He's just getting used to a normal life and I don't want to take that away from him."

"Honestly, I don't think you have a reason to trust me. I haven't proven myself trustworthy." Rory admitted and looked at the ground. "I put my addiction before my Son. That's not going to be easy to recover from."

"But we can take small steps." Lorelai nodded. "You know I love you, right?"

"Yeah" Rory nodded.

"Good. Because I love you a lot and nothing is ever going to change that. I may be upset with some of your actions, but I still love you."

"I love you too and I'm really sorry for all the hurt I've caused." Rory sighed. "I'm working really hard to pull myself together. I want to change and be a responsible adult."

"Anything I can help with?" Lorelai asked.

"You're already doing so much by taking care of Ryan."

"He's a great kid, Rory. Once you get to know him, you'll see it too. It amazes me how much he looks and acts like you and Jess. He has Jess' smirk, which is really cute on Ryan." Lorelai smiled. "I never thought I'd say that, but it's true. Ryan may not have been born under the best of circumstances, but he truly is a blessing. I love that kid so much."

"I love him too." Rory said quietly.

"He knows that." Lorelai stated. "He loves you so much and that's why this is all so hard for him. He wants you to be his Mother and he wants you to get better. I didn't tell him I was coming here today because I didn't want to get his hopes up. He's been asking about you and how you're doing. I just keep saying that you are slowly getting better. Until today, I had no idea if that was true or not. I can see that you're improving and you seem to be so much better than you were several months ago." Lorelai explained. "But I have to be sure you're ok before Ryan sees you again."

"I understand." Rory nodded and hung her head. "I really want to see him, but I understand."

"Good, because I don't want you to think I'm purposely keeping Ryan from you or anything like that. I truly do have his best interest in mind." Lorelai said softly.

"That's good, because I certainly didn't care much about him." Rory whispered. "I'm so horrible."

"Rory" Lorelai sighed and reached out to grab Rory's hand. She was about to comfort her daughter and tell her it wasn't her fault before stopping herself. Lorelai realized that Rory was still turning this around in making Lorelai feel bad for Rory's pain. Lorelai didn't say anything because she didn't want Rory to think that she was innocent in everything. She played a very real role in her circumstances and part of her recovery was going to be experiencing the consequences of her behavior. Lorelai restrained herself from her Motherly instinct to sooth Rory and wipe away her tears. It hurt her to see Rory in pain, but Lorelai had to allow those feelings to come through or nothing would ever change. Rory needed to own her past and work through her addiction.

"Rory" Lorelai sighed again after a moment had passed and Rory regained her composure. "I'm not going to tell you everything will be ok, because I don't know that right now. I want to believe that you have changed, but I can't help but have doubts. I hope the next few weeks and months will prove me wrong."

"I'm going to beat this; you'll see." Rory insisted and sat up straight.

"I really hope so." Lorelai nodded. It felt good to say those words to Rory, but Lorelai still had a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was the guilt that kept eating away at her; guilt for somehow not stopping this horrible situation from happening in the first place. "Rory, I just can't help but think that things could have been different. Maybe all this wouldn't have happened if you'd called or I had called. I should have pulled you out of there when you first ran off with Jess."

"Mom" Rory sighed. "I didn't become an alcoholic because I ran away and had a baby. It was just a lot of things over the years. I let everything build up until it was overwhelming. The alcohol took the edge off a little bit and made everything feel a bit more manageable. Before I really knew what was happening, the alcohol was consuming everything. It wasn't your fault at all. It was all me and my stupid pride and stubbornness. I thought I could handle everything on my own, but I should have asked for help or at the very least made more of an effort to change things."

"Sounds like you've had a lot of time to think about this." Lorelai noted.

"Yeah, there isn't much else to do around here." Rory joked. "They make us go to group therapy every day and have one on one counseling sessions. So, I've talked a lot about my past since I've been here. Um, speaking of which." Rory hesitated. "Do you think maybe you'd be willing to come to a session with my counselor?"

"Really?" Lorelai asked skeptically. "I'd like to help, but I'm just not sure what I can do. I mean, I wasn't exactly part of your life for a while." Lorelai said sadly.

"Which is exactly why I think you should come. There are things you need to hear and I need to talk about with you, but I don't really know how to do it. My counselor thinks it would be healthy for us to have some sessions together." Rory explained.

"Ok, well, I think I can handle that." Lorelai nodded. "Just let me know when they are and I'll make it happen."

"How about next Monday afternoon? My sessions are normally at 4pm, but I could see if another time works."

"I can make four in the afternoon happen." Lorelai insisted.

"Good. Thank you." Rory said and breathed a sigh of relief.

A loud bell rang from the building, startling both Lorelai and Rory.

"Geez, what's that?" Lorelai frowned and looked toward the offending noise.

"Visiting time is up." Rory informed her.

"Do they have to be so harsh about it?"

"Apparently they want to make it clear to everyone." Rory shrugged and stood up from the bench. Both women walked silently to the building before Rory turned and gave Lorelai another hug. "Thanks for coming today, Mom."

"You're welcome. Thank you for inviting me." Lorelai smiled softly. "I'm glad you're doing well, kid."

"Thanks." Rory smiled. "See you Monday?"

"I'll be here." Lorelai assured her before hugging Rory again quickly. Lorelai turned and walked back to her car at a brisk pace. She turned the engine on and drove away from the rehab center. When she reached a small town nearby, she pulled into a coffee shop parking lot before leaning forward and sobbing.


	30. Chapter 30

Lorelai trudged into the house and threw her purse on the entryway table before taking her coat off. Luke was quickly at her side and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Luke asked softly.

"It was awful." Lorelai shrugged. "Well, not everything was awful." She admitted. "Rory looks really good physically. It was nice to see her like somewhat normal again."

"That sounds positive." Luke nodded. "Ryan's in his room doing homework, so we can talk out here." Luke said as he led her over to the couch.

"I don't think she gets it, Luke. Rory was somewhat unaware of how bad things were not all that long ago. It's like it doesn't sink in with her." Lorelai complained.

"If it didn't sink in, why is she in treatment?"

"Probably because she didn't know what else to do." Lorelai suggested.

"Isn't admitting the problem the first step?" Luke questioned with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Luke, you know what I mean."

"I get it." Luke nodded. "Did she ask about Ryan?"

"Of course. I told her how well he was doing and how he's almost all caught up in school."

"I bet that made her happy."

"She didn't even know he was behind in school." Lorelai shook her head. "I just get so frustrated with her lack of understanding and inability to take responsibility for her actions. She just has no idea."

Luke sighed and nodded in understanding. "Maybe it's just too hard to accept everything that happened in the past. Maybe she needs some time to process it all before she can fully comprehend it?"

"I wish she'd hurry up." Lorelai sighed. "She wants to see Ryan."

"And you told her 'no'?"

"Basically. I tried to be nice about it, but the truth is that I can't trust her with him. I honestly don't know if I ever will be able to trust her again. She isn't receiving any sort of punishment for her behavior, Luke. I don't understand how she is just getting away with everything."

"Oh, so you're going to punish her by keeping Ryan away?" Luke frowned. "I don't think that's going to do any good, Lorelai. That's just going to upset Ryan and drive a wedge between you two."

"Fine." Lorelai sighed again. "Has Ryan been asking about her all night?"

"A couple of times. He's been keeping pretty busy with homework, which makes me wonder if he's just trying to distract himself."

"mmm" Lorelai nodded. "I'll go talk to him for a while and let him know how his Mom's doing." Lorelai said as she got up off the couch and walked to Rory's old bedroom. "Hey, Ryan?" Lorelai said as she carefully sat down on her Grandson's bed.

"Yeah?" Ryan responded without looking up from his homework at the desk.

"Can you stop what you're doing for a second?"

"I'm working on a paper we're supposed to write." Ryan responded, still without looking up.

Lorelai smiled at how diligently he was working, but knew this topic warranted the interruption.

"I have to get this done." Ryan sighed.

"When is it due?"

"Next week."

"Ok, well, hun, I'm thrilled that you're so enthusiastic about your school work, but I need to talk to you about something important." Lorelai said softly. "I saw your Mom today."

Ryan stopped, put his pencil down, and slowly turned to face his Grandmother with a hesitant look. "Yeah?"

Lorelai nodded in confirmation. "She asked about you a lot. I told her that you missed her."

"Is she better?"

"Yes, but not all the way." Lorelai explained. "She wanted me to tell you that she loves you and misses you a lot."

"When is she coming home? Are we moving back to New York?" Ryan questioned.

"She will be coming home eventually, but not for a little while. I'm not sure what's going to happen when she gets out, but I doubt you two will be going back to New York. Things are going to be different."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, your Mom isn't just going to come home and everything will be fine. It's going to take time for her to get used to living a normal life."

"So, what will happen to me? Do I get to live with her again?" Ryan questioned, a glimmerof hope visible in his eyes.

"I don't know if that will be possible right away. Grandpa and I are in charge of you for the time being. So, you can't just go live with your Mom. You'll be able to see her on a regular basis, but you'll be living here."

"Why can't I go live with her? It's going to be just like when I was really little. She was good then." Ryan insisted.

Lorelai sighed in irritation at Ryan's insistence to be with Rory. She had a hard time understanding how he could overlook her addiction and actually want to live with her again. "Ryan" Lorelai said, sounding more irritated than she should have. "You don't seem to understand the severity of the situation here. Your Mother is an alcoholic. She cannot take care of you until she stops drinking. It's going to be a long time before she is responsible enough to have you live with her."

"Why don't you like her?" Ryan snapped and frowned at Lorelai.

"Excuse me?" Lorelai scoffed.

"You're always so mean when you talk about her. You don't want her to get better, do you?"

"Ryan, my relationship with your Mother is really complicated. There is a lot of stuff that has happened and it's going to take us a little time to work through it. It's not something that you can really understand right now. I think you're being a little disrespectful to me right now and I don't appreciate it." Lorelai insisted and stood up.

"I'm going to live with her again!" Ryan shouted as Lorelai walked away.

"No you're not!" Lorelai responded and slammed the door shut.

"Lorelai, what the hell?" Luke asked from the living room as Lorelai walked toward him.

"He's being impossible." Lorelai shook her head. "He just doesn't understand that Rory isn't going to suddenly become the picture perfect Mother he wants. It's not that easy."

"Lorelai, you're being way too hard on the kid. He loves his Mom and wants her to come back. He's scared that he'll never see him again." Luke reasoned.

"Maybe he shouldn't see her again."

"Don't be ridiculous, Lorelai. You know he'll see her again."

"Not if she doesn't straighten up."

"We're not going to keep Ryan from her." Luke insisted. "Rory will get better and they will have regular supervised visits. I'm not depriving that boy of a relationship with her."

"What kind of a relationship can he possibly have with her if she never recovers?" Lorelai frowned.

Luke shook his head at Lorelai's increasing anger toward Rory. "Do you not want her to get better or something? Do you like the fact that you have some sort of righteous anger toward her?"

"Oh, so now you're accusing me of hating my own daughter, too?" Lorelai scoffed. "We'll, that's just fine. Ok, sure, I hate my daughter. I'm a horrible person because I don't trust her and I think she'll relapse if she isn't focused. I'm sorry that I'm just trying to look out for my Grandson's best interest. I'm sorry that I don't want his failure of a Mother ruining his life!" Lorelai shouted as Luke looked at her with wide eyes.

Luke was at a total loss for words at Lorelai's outburst, but quickly reached out to hold her hand as tears formed in her eyes. "Lorelai, it's ok to be upset about all this. No one thinks you can't be angry with her, but I think at some point you're going to have to forgive her. You can't let your feelings for Rory stand in the way of Ryan's relationship with her. He'll just resent you for keeping them apart and then no one will be happy."

"I'm sorry." Lorelai whispered as she regained her composure. "I'm just so upset with Rory that I'm not handling this all very well."

"Lorelai, you need to talk with someone about this." Luke suggested gently. "You know I'm always here, but I think you need to talk to someone who can give you better guidance. Someone who's a professional."

"Maybe." Lorelai nodded. "I suppose I should go apologize to Ryan for yelling at him."

Luke nodded and watched as Lorelai walked back to Ryan's room and knocked on the door. "Ryan?" she asked and waited for a response. "Ryan, can I come in?" She asked before slowly pushing the door in. "Ryan?" She asked and looked around the empty room. "Luke!" She shouted when she noticed the open window.

"What?" Luke frowned as he walked over to Ryan's room.

"He's not here. Look, the window's open!"

Luke's jaw clenched as he looked around the room and then at Lorelai. "I'm going to find him. You stay here. Call everyone in town and tell them to keep an eye out." Luke commanded as he rushed out of the house and to his truck.

Luke's hands clenched the steering wheel as he slowly drove through town. His eyes carefully scanned the sidewalks as he looked for Ryan. "Damn it, Ryan, don't do this." Luke said through his clenched jaw. The truck crept through town until Luke came to the town square. He saw a small figure walking through the town square and pulled up next to him as the boy continued to walk on the sidewalk. "Hey, where you headin'?" Luke yelled out the window.

"I'm going to see my Mom." Ryan said and continued walking.

"I don't think you can walk that far tonight." Luke tried to reason with the boy. "It's a couple hour drive, which would take you over a day to walk. I think you might get a little cold and maybe a little hungry. Plus, what are you going to do when you get there? You have to get a visitor's pass to go see her."

Ryan stopped in his tracks and Luke parked the truck before Ryan slumped his shoulders and walked around the truck before getting into the cab.

"You want to tell me what's going on?" Luke asked without looking at Ryan.

"Grandma doesn't want me to see my Mom again." Ryan explained while choking back tears. "She can't keep me away from her."

"No, but I think we can come up with a better solution than you sneaking out of the house and walking around in the dark." Luke pointed out. "You can't just take off like that, you know? It scared me. Next time you're upset I hope you come and talk to me before bolting."

"I'm sorry, Grandpa, but I was really mad at Grandma for saying all that stuff about Mom." Ryan said and crossed his arms.

"I understand, buddy. Maybe it would help if we thought about it from her point of view. I think deep down Grandma wants your Mom to get better, but she's scared of all the bad stuff that could happen too. I'm going to talk with Grandma more and we'll try to come up with a way to work this all out, but you've got to help me too. We all have to do a better job communicating and talking to each other about our feelings. Do you think you could help me with that?" Luke asked and finally looked over at Ryan.

"I guess." Ryan sighed.

"Good." Luke nodded and shifted the truck into drive before pulling back onto the street. "You're very important in all of this, you know?"

The rest of the ride back to the house was silent until they pulled into the driveway and found Lorelai watching them from the window. She bolted out the front door as soon as she saw Ryan and engulfed him in a big hug as he walked around the truck.

"I'm so sorry, Ryan." Lorelai said as she practically crushed him. "I shouldn't have said all that stuff. I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings."

"It's ok." Ryan nodded as she released her grip on him and stood back a little. "I'm sorry for taking off. I won't do it again."

"Ok, I think it's bed time." Luke announced as he ushered everyone in the house.

XXXXX

"Luke say something." Lorelai said as she finished brushing her teeth.

Luke stopped and looked at her in the mirror. He spit toothpaste into the sink and turned to look at her. "You want me to say something?" Luke scoffed. "After what happened tonight you really want to hear my thoughts?"

"Yes, Luke. I do."

"Ok, fine." Luke huffed. "I think you're being a bitch about all this."

"Luke" Lorelai said and stepped back in shock. He'd never called her that.

"You keep pushing everyone away and keep telling everyone how horrible Rory is. Yes, she made mistake and yes, she has or had a serious problem; she was an alcoholic. We all get that Lorelai. We get that you're in shock and we get that you're upset. What I don't get and what Ryan doesn't get is why you won't help her!"

"Excuse me, but you have no right to say that." Lorelai began to point out. "You have no idea-"

"I have an idea, Lorelai. I'm your husband! I know you better than anyone else and I know when you're pissed at someone. Just admit that you're still pissed at Rory for throwing her life away. She didn't do what you wanted and now you're pissed. You're also pissed at yourself because you're doing the same thing to her that your parents did to you! I'm getting really sick of you doing all of this out of duty, but claiming it's because you love Rory and Ryan. I know you love them both. No one is doubting your love here, but you've got to let Rory do this on her own." Luke ranted.

"She can't Luke!" Lorelai said in frustration. "Look at what her own choices did! She ran away with Jess and screwed up her life. If she would have just listened to me we wouldn't be in this situation!"

"Well, she didn't listen to you." Luke said bluntly. "No matter how much you want to, you can't change that fact. Rory made that choice and now we have to help her make different choices. The only way she's going to be successful is if we give her the support she needs to make those choices. If you're not going to do that, then you might as well just forget it all and walk away."

"Maybe I should." Lorelai grumbled. "You all just keep pushing and pushing!" She exclaimed before throwing her hands up in the air and walking away from Luke.

"Hey, I'm not done here!" Luke called after her as she bolted down the stairs.

"Well I am!" Lorelai yelled back as she grabbed her purse and took off out the front door.

Luke huffed and slumped his shoulders. He was frustrated with his temper as well as Lorelai's refusal to do anything but blame Rory.

"Grandpa?" A small voice whispered in the darkness, jarring Luke out of his thoughts.

"You heard all of that, didn't you?"

"Yeah" Ryan admitted as he walked over to hug Luke.

"I'm sorry, buddy." Luke said genuinely. "I just broke my promise about helping Grandma."

"You guys were yelling at each other again."

"I know and I feel bad about it. I shouldn't have done that."

"Are you guys getting a divorce?" Ryan asked and looked up at Luke.

"What?" Luke said, shocked. "No, Ryan. We are definitely not. Grandma and I just had a disagreement. I shouldn't have yelled at her like that."

"She yelled back."

"Yeah, but only because I started yelling at her in the first place. It wasn't very nice of me."

"She left." Ryan frowned.

"Just like someone else I know." He smirked at looked down at Ryan. "I think that may be a family trait. Probably not the best, but it's there. I'd like to go after her, but it's probably best for both of us to cool off for a little while."

"Ok, so everything will be ok?"

"Yes, Ryan. Everything will be ok." Luke assured the boy and gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Are you ok to go back to bed?"

"Can we make a fort and sleep in the living room?"

"Sure, buddy." Luke smirked.


	31. Chapter 31

Lorelai carefully drove down the deserted highway. After storming out of the house, she'd taken off down the road. At first she drove to Sookie's house, but quickly realized Sookie and her family were asleep. Then she'd gotten an idea to drive to her Parents' house for some help. She thought maybe they could do something about Rory. However, as she drove up to the house, she realized that it was the middle of the night and nothing could be done right at that moment. Lorelai cried for a few minutes before turning her car around toward home.

Now that she drove down the dark highway, she realized just how ridiculous she must look. Her hair was a tangled mess, her makeup had already been removed for the night, and she was wearing pajamas.

"This is crazy." Lorelai scolded herself as she drove a little faster. "Why am I running away from Luke?"

Out of nowhere, a deer darted in front of Lorelai's Jeep, causing her to jerk the steering wheel. The Jeep swerved across the road until Lorelai drove into the ditch. Once the Jeep stopped, she placed a hand over her heart to still its rapid beating. She looked down at herself to make sure she was ok before shakily getting out and assessing the damage to the Jeep.

"Geez" Lorelai breathed as she looked at the dented front end and the smoke coming out of the engine. She instinctively opened the door of the Jeep and grabbed her cell phone out of the cup holder. Her fingers shakily dialed and she began to pace along the side of the road.

"Hello?" Luke said in a groggy voice.

"Luke, hey, it's me." Lorelai began to ramble.

"What's wrong?" Luke cut her off.

"Well, see, there was this deer and it darted out into the road."

"Are you ok?" Luke said seriously.

"Yeah, I'm fine, but the Jeep is a little banged up."

"Where are you? I'll come get you."

Lorelai gave him a description of where she was and climbed back into the Jeep to wait. She breathed a sigh of relief that the situation wasn't worse.

XXXXX

Luke turned the truck around in the middle of the road and parked behind the Jeep. He instructed a pajama clad Ryan to remain in the truck while he got out and assessed the Jeep.

"Lorelai, what the hell happened?" Luke asked as he walked around the Jeep. "What were you doing taking off like that?"

"I don't know." Lorelai said and looked down at the ground.

"Well, I don't think we can do anything tonight. I'll call a tow truck in the morning." Luke said as he walked back toward the truck. "Are you coming?"

"Ok" Lorelai nodded and grabbed her purse before locking the Jeep. She quickly walked to the truck as Luke started it and Ryan slid over to the middle seat as Lorelai got in.

Luke drove quickly as the trio sat in silence. The truck jerked to a stop in the driveway before Luke got out and stopped up to the house. Ryan looked at Lorelai, but knew this was a time he shouldn't say anything. So, he simply followed his Grandmother out of the truck and into the house. He quickly disappeared for the night into his room as Lorelai chased Luke up the stairs.

"Luke, say something." Lorelai said after she shut the bedroom door.

"Why did you take off like that?" Luke asked in an accusatory tone.

"Because I just couldn't be around here anymore." Lorelai sighed. "It just gets to be too much sometimes."

"I know, but you have to talk about it, Lorelai. You can't just run out of here. If you don't talk to us, who are you going to talk to? We're family. We're supposed to help each other out."

"I know, but it's just too hard sometimes, Luke." Lorelai sighed. "I don't expect you to understand, but you have to give me more time."

"More time? Why? What's going to change?" Luke frowned. "You're just going to keep delaying and delaying until this situation resolves itself, aren't you? What about things that won't resolve themselves? What about Jess and Ryan? I don't think I can keep them apart forever. Eventually Jess is going to find a way to see him. It would be much better if it was on our terms, don't you think?"

"Well, you know what I think." Lorelai sighed. "I'd prefer if Jess stayed out of his life."

"That's not practical, Lorelai." Luke said in frustration. "You're going to have to make peace with the fact that Jess will be in Ryan's life. It's a reality."

"I just-"

"What don't you understand about this?" Luke yelled.

"I'm trying to protect my Grandson."

"You can't put him in a protective bubble, Lorelai. He has to experience life, not have you sheltering him from it. We have to equip him to make good choices, not hide the choices from him." Luke said, still frustrated. "We have to give him an opportunity to have a relationship with Jess. As long as Ryan is safe, it's up to Jess and Ryan to make it work. There is a risk that Ryan may end up getting hurt. I'd like to avoid that, but we can't guarantee that it won't happen. I think we're much better off helping them develop some sort of healthy relationship."

Lorelai crossed her arms and frowned as she thought about Luke's idea. "I hate the idea of Jess being around here all the time."

"He's my nephew." Luke reasoned. "And he happens to be Ryan's father. He's going to be around here. I'd like you to make peace with that. If you can't I hope you can find a way to put your own feelings aside for Ryan's sake. You can always just leave the house when Jess is around too. Think about how it was when Rory was growing up and Christopher would come around."

"Yeah, but you know how infrequent that was." Lorelai sighed. "Ok, I guess I could entertain the idea of Jess being involved in Ryan's life. I do want to add a caveat though."

"Ok, shoot."

"I want the option to not be involved with Jess being involved." Lorelai explained. "I'll make an effort to be civil with Jess, especially when Ryan is around. However, if I'm having a hard time or not getting along with Jess, I want to be able to leave when he's around. Meaning, you may end up handling all the communication between Jess and Ryan and helping arrange visits."

"I'd prefer if we didn't have to do that, but if that's the compromise, I can accept it." Luke nodded. "I'll call Jess and set up a meeting."

XXXXX

Luke and Lorelai finally settled on a meeting place halfway between Stars Hollow and Philadelphia. Neither of them thought anywhere near Stars Hollow would be a good idea with all the townsfolk listening in. So, they drove to a diner in what seemed like the middle of nowhere and were pleasantly surprised to find Jess already there. He had secured a table by the window and ordered drinks and a slice of pie for Lorelai.

"Already trying to suck up to me?" Lorelai snickered as she sat down at the table.

"Is it working?" Jess asked and nodded at Luke as he sat down across from Jess.

Lorelai hesitated for a moment before eating a bite of the pie and nodding. "I think so."

"So, if you both don't mind, I thought I'd cut right to the chase." Jess began. "I really want to see Ryan. Now, I know I don't deserve to after I walked out on him. It's no excuse, but I'm a different person. I was just a kid when he was born and I freaked out. I shouldn't have left, I regret it so much and I wish I could change it, but I can't. The only way I can make this right is to start over again with Ryan. I'm sorry for how I've handled everything so far. I shouldn't have tried to screw up the custody battle. I just freaked out and thought I'd never have a chance to see him if I didn't do something."

"Ok, well, that's why we wanted to meet with you." Luke began. "We want to find a way to work some sort of visitation schedule for you to see Ryan. It's only fair that you get a chance to make things right with Ryan."

"I want to make one thing clear." Lorelai interjected. "If Ryan doesn't want to see you, you stay away. This whole thing is all about Ryan, not about you easing a guilty conscience."

"I totally understand." Jess nodded. "Look, I hope Ryan and I can forge a close relationship at some point, but I know that's a long process. I just want to start out with meeting him and getting to know who he is. That's it."

Lorelai studied Jess for a minute before relaxing a little and sitting back in her chair. "Ok, so I guess we need to work on details of how this thing is going to work."

"I think we should start by having you come to Stars Hollow." Luke suggested. "I want Ryan to meet you and spend time with you in a comfortable environment. We're going to take this slow to start with."

"I can handle that." Jess nodded and breathed a sigh of relief.

XXXXX

Lorelai shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she sat in a therapists' office with Rory. She really didn't want to be there, but had agreed to participate in helping Rory with her recovery. The conversation had gone fairly smooth thus far, but Lorelai had kept her part of the conversation to a minimum.

"So, I need to bring up a potentially touchy subject." Lorelai said and shifted in her seat again. "Ryan asked Luke if he could meet Jess."

"Really?" Rory said in shock. "What have you and Luke been telling him about Jess?"

"Not a lot. We've answered his questions as truthfully as possible, but haven't painted a positive or negative picture."

"Have you talked with Jess about this meeting?"

"A little." Lorelai admitted. "Luke really thinks they should meet. He thinks Ryan needs to know who his Father is. He says it's a man connection thing. I can understand, but of course I'm weary of Jess."

"You should be; he walked out on Ryan and I. He shouldn't be trusted and I'd prefer Ryan not have anything to do with Jess."

"Ok, now I think that's a little harsh, Rory." Lorelai noted. "Jess seems to have changed. When Luke and I met with him he seemed fine."

"When you met with him?!" Rory scoffed. "So what, you're just all plotting against me while I'm here?"

"No" Lorelai insisted. "We have to keep on living, Rory. We can't just stop our lives for you."

"I suppose it would be wrong to keep Jess away from Ryan at this point." Rory sighed and calmed down a little. "If Jess has changed maybe it wouldn't be so terrible for them to at least meet."

"That's my thinking." Lorelai nodded. "Of course, the visit will be supervised, so it's not like Jess will take off with Ryan or anything. I'm just trying to make sure Ryan doesn't get hurt."

"I know you are." Rory nodded. "It's just hard to think that Jess could be a positive part of Ryan's life when he's been such a negative part of mine."

"I know. I'm still really skeptical of Jess, but Luke made me promise that I'd give him a chance. In return, Luke agreed to let me back out if I want to. Meaning, Luke could potentially be the one handling all of this." Lorelai explained.

"He's probably the best suited to do that out of both of us. Luke loves both Jess and Ryan and I'm sure he'll be able to handle it well. I trust Luke." Rory said logically.

"Good, Rory." The therapist finally spoke up. "So you can both conclude that Ryan having a relationship with his father could be a good thing?"

"Yeah" Lorelai nodded in surprise. "We finally agreed on something."


	32. Chapter 32

**AN: Hi! I apologize for the long delay in updating. Thank you to everyone who is sticking with me on this story! This chapter has been a long time coming (not just in my lack of updating, but the subject matter). Please let me know what you think (pretty please).**

XXXXX

Jess exhaled deeply before ringing the bell to Luke and Lorelai's house. He'd had several telephone conversations with both Luke and Lorelai since their meeting two weeks prior. He tried to assure Lorelai that he really was different and he genuinely did want to know Ryan. Jess couldn't blame Lorelai's skepticism, but was relieved when Luke stood up for him and convinced Lorelai to give him a chance.

Luke opened the front door and greeted Jess warmly with a smile and handshake. "Hey, Jess."

"Luke" Jess nodded as he peered through the doorway, looking for Ryan.

"He's in his room." Luke answered the unspoken question.

"Ok. Is Lorelai here?" Jess asked as he followed Luke inside the house.

"No, she's at work. She'll be around later tonight."

"Ok" Jess nodded and stood in the living room with his hands in his back pockets.

"So, I'll just go get Ryan and let you two get to know each other. If you need anything, I'll be out in the garage." Luke nodded and went toward Ryan's room. He opened the door and said something Jess couldn't hear before heading out to the garage.

A minute later, Jess heard footsteps and turned to look toward the kitchen when he saw a little boy walking toward him. He immediately stood up and focused on the boy. He instantly recognized many of his own features in him and knew exactly who the boy was.

"Hi" the boy said when he finally came to a stop in front of Jess. "I'm Ryan." He slowly extended his hand to Jess and waited for a moment as Jess studied it before reaching out and slowly shaking his hand.

"Hi" Jess said and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm Jess. I think Luke told you who I am?"

"Yup" Ryan nodded slowly.

"Ok" Jess also nodded. "You want to go talk somewhere else or stay here?"

"You pick" Ryan shrugged.

"Let's go for a walk." Jess nodded and walked toward the door. He saw Luke working in the garage and informed him of where they were going. Luke seemed hesitant to let them go, but eventually agreed. Ryan and Jess walked quickly and silently until they got to the dock at the lake. Jess sat down and motioned for Ryan to join him. Their legs dangled over the edge of the dock as they sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Have you ever been here?" Jess asked.

"No"

"I used to come here all the time when I lived in Stars Hollow."

"You used to live here too?" Ryan frowned.

"When I was in high school my Mom sent me to live here with my uncle." Jess explained. "I was getting into trouble and my Mom thought he could straighten me out."

"Did he?"

"Sort of. I was beyond the point where he could help."

"Who is your uncle? Do I know him?"

"You do. His name is Luke."

"Grandpa Luke is your uncle?" Ryan frowned and tried to figure out how that could be possible.

"It's possible." Jess nodded as if reading Ryan's thoughts. "It's nothing gross or anything. See, your Grandma had your Mom and moved to Stars Hollow. She met Luke and they were friends for a long time before they finally got married. My Mom is Luke's sister, so he's my Uncle. Don't worry, it's not like your Mom and I are related by blood or anything; just by marriage. It's all perfectly legal."

"It's kind of weird." Ryan frowned, wondering why Luke had never mentioned any of this to him.

"I can't argue with you on that one." Jess nodded.

They both sat in silence for a few minutes before Ryan finally spoke up. "Can I ask you questions?"

"Sure" Jess shrugged. "About what?"

"You…I guess." Ryan said and looked down. "Where do you live?"

"Philadelphia"

"How far is that from New York?"

"A couple hours."

"Do you work a lot?"

"Yeah, I guess." Jess shrugged. "I own a publishing company. We print books and magazines and do some stuff online. It keeps me busy."

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah."

"Ok"

"Ryan, is there something else you want to ask? Anything on your mind?" Jess questioned and looked at his Son with a frown. "You can ask me whatever you like."

"Well…I guess. I don't know if I should ask or not." Ryan hesitated.

"It's ok. You can ask me anything you want. I won't get mad." Jess assured him.

"It's just that…well…I don't understand…why…why you left. What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong." Jess sighed and put his hand on Ryan's shoulder. "None of it was your fault, Ryan. It was my fault; I screwed up. I had some problems back then and I needed to fix them."

"Problems like Mom has?"

"Sort of." Jess nodded. "Ryan, look, I didn't realize your Mom was having problems or I would have come back. I would have done something to help. I'm sorry I didn't know."

"If you got better, maybe she can get better too." Ryan said hopefully.

"Maybe" Jess sighed. "Ryan, this is hard to explain, but your Mom has to want to change. You can't do anything or say anything to make her better. She's the only one who can help herself."

"I don't like it when she's sick. She didn't used to be like that so much. When I was really little I remember her being different."

"She'll be that way again." Jess assured him. "It may take time, but your Mom's a strong woman and will get better eventually."

"I hope so." Ryan sighed.

"Hey Ryan?" Jess asked.

"Yeah?"

"I know this probably doesn't mean much, but I want to apologize to you." Jess began. "I was a really crappy Dad to you and you don't deserve that. You deserve someone much better than me. I should have been there for you and I wasn't, but that's going to change now. I'd like to get to know you and be a part of your life, if that's ok with you."

"Are you going to be moving here or just visiting?" Ryan wondered.

"That's the thing" Jess hesitated. "See…I can't really move any closer. I have a family; I'm married and we have two daughters."

"Oh" Ryan said and frowned, realizing he'd have to share Jess with another family. He wasn't opposed to the idea, but it wasn't what he'd expected.

"It doesn't mean we can't have a relationship." Jess insisted. "My wife knows about you and she thinks it's a good idea for us to spend time together. She wants to meet you sometime, if you'd like."

"You want me to go to Philadelphia?"

"Not right away." Jess assured him. "Maybe eventually, but I think we should get to know each other first. I'll come here to visit you every other weekend, if your Grandma and Grandpa agree."

"Ok, but what should I call you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, technically you're my Dad, but I don't really know you. Usually kids call their Dad, 'Dad'."

"You can call me whatever you like; Jess or Dad. Whatever you're more comfortable with. Start with Jess if you like and change later. It's up to you." Jess shrugged.

"Ok, thanks Jess." Ryan smiled. "Hey, can we go get a piece of pie at Luke's?"

"Sure" Jess smirked. "You really are a Gilmore, aren't you?"

"Everyone keeps saying that, but I don't know what they're talking about. Gilmore is my last name, so of course I'm a Gilmore."

"Exactly." Jess agreed and smiled at his son. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet before taking a photo out and handing it to Ryan. "I don't know if you care or not, but that's a picture of my family. My wife, Erin, is really nice and wants to meet you sometime."

"That's what you said." Ryan reminded him and carefully examined the picture in his small hands. A gentle breeze blew across the lake and suddenly swept the picture out of Ryan's hands and into the water bellow. Ryan gasped and reached out to grab the picture before it fell, but lost his balance in the process, suddenly falling into the water with a loud splash.

Jess's eyes widened in shock as Ryan went into the water so quickly. He instantly dropped his wallet on the bridge and slid into the water after Ryan. Jess quickly grabbed Ryan and forced him above the water, holding him with both arms over his head like a toddler. Fortunately, the lake was shallow near the bridge and Jess soon found his footing and stood up, the water coming up to his chest. After taking a deep breath and a few steps forward, he pushed Ryan onto the edge of the bridge.

"Are you ok?" Jess asked and clutched the boy's knees as Ryan coughed a few times.

"The picture" Ryan said with a hint of panic in his voice.

"Don't worry about it. Are you ok?" Jess asked intently.

"I fell in the lake." Ryan frowned.

"Yeah, you did." Jess said and couldn't help but smirk. Ryan sounded so much like Rory in that moment.

"I'm ok." He nodded and pushed his hair away from his face.

"I'm standing in mud." Jess frowned as the reality of the situation caught up to him.

"Sorry" Ryan apologized.

"It's ok, Ryan." Jess assured the young boy, looking into his eyes. "I just want to make sure you're ok." Ryan nodded in confirmation before Jess moved away from Ryan and pulled himself up onto the bridge in a less than graceful movement. Both he and Ryan were soaked and their clothes clung awkwardly to their bodies as they stood up. Jess picked up his dry wallet that had previously been abandoned and held it in his hand rather than put it in his wet jeans.

"I'm really sorry about the picture." Ryan said again and looked down at the bridge.

"Ryan, it's ok. My wife is really into family pictures, so she always orders extra. I can replace it as soon as I get back home. Really, don't worry about it." Jess calmly assured him. "You're probably really cold in those wet clothes, let's get you back to Luke and Lorelai's place." Jess nodded before they began the walk back at a brisk pace.

Jess kept looking down to make sure Ryan was ok as they walked back. As the approached the house, Jess began to brace himself for the tongue lashing that was sure to come his way. Sure enough, as soon as they walked down the driveway, Luke spotted them and instantly freaked out.

"What the hell happened?!" Luke shouted at Jess as he ran up to Ryan and knelt down in front of him. "Are you ok, buddy? What happened?"

"I fell in the lake." Ryan shrugged.

"What?" Luke frowned and stood up to address Jess. "Jess!" He hissed. "You were supposed to be watching him!"

"I was." Jess insisted. "I jumped in after him."

"Ryan, go inside and change your clothes. Put on something warm. I'll be in after I talk to Jess for a minute." Luke said and watched as Ryan slowly shuffled his way up to the house and inside.

"What the hell were you thinking!" Luke hissed. "The very first time you go out with your kid and he falls into the lake?"

"It's not that big of a deal, Luke." Jess held up his hands in defense. "I know this looks bad, but everything is fine. We were sitting on the edge of the bridge, just talking, and I showed him a picture of my family. The wind came up and blew the picture into the water. Ryan tried to grab it and fell in. I jumped right in after him. It freaked me out, but he's ok. I checked."

"Fine" Luke huffed. "You better come inside and change, too. You'll get pneumonia if you stay in those wet clothes."

XXXXX

"You lied to me." Ryan said coldly to Luke. He was standing in his bedroom, dripping wet and felt like any moment the anger in the young boy's eyes would set his body on fire.

"What?" Luke scoffed and put his hands on his hips.

"You're Jess' Uncle." Ryan stated. "You told me about Jess, but you never said you were his Uncle."

"Ryan, it's complicated." Luke sighed and tried to justify his actions. "I didn't really lie. I just left that part out. I was only trying to protect you."

"From the truth?" Ryan frowned. "Get out." He said and moved to shut his bedroom door as Luke backpedaled his way into the kitchen.

Luke sighed and shook his head in disgrace as the door shut in his face.

"He's pissed at you." Jess pointed out as he stood in the hallway.

"You do not need to point that out to me." Luke fumed, pointing at Jess before walking passed him.

Jess watched Luke stomp up the stairs to his and Lorelai's bedroom before shaking his head at the situation.

"Hey, don't be angry at Luke." Jess said as he leaned against the door frame to Ryan's room.

"He lied to me." Ryan huffed. "He never lies to me."

"I don't know what the conversation has been between you two, but I don't know that Luke would outright lie to you." Jess tried to reason with Ryan. "He probably didn't know how to explain it or what to say to you. Besides, its not like Luke really had any control over the situation. If you're going to be angry with anyone, it should be me." Jess said and moved to sit on Ryan's bed.

"You're wet clothes are going to get my bed wet." Ryan frowned and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I know" Jess nodded slowly and motioned for Ryan to sit next to him. "Just sit for a second. I want to try and explain this to you."

Ryan frowned and held out for a moment before complying with Jess' request.

Jess put his arm around Ryan's shoulders and took a deep breath. "I'm not sure what you've been told about your Mom and I. You've probably been told the truth. I was a real jerk to your Mom a long time ago. It's hard to understand, but your Mom and I knew each other when we were both young, like still in high school. We were attracted to each other, but I think your Mom liked me because I represented a new adventure. See, your Mom was the type of girl who always had her next move planned. She was a really good student and I was the typical bad boy. Your Grandmother was not happy with me at all." Jess said and chuckled. "She probably still doesn't think much of me. Anyways, I was the one who screwed things up for your Mom. Things got a little complicated and I left town. I never really even broke up with her, just left. Then I showed up out of the blue and asked her to run away with me. I still don't really know why she agreed to come with me. Maybe it was another chance at an adventure or maybe she really did care about me. Whatever her reason, she went to New York with me. Your Grandmother was so angry with her and it really broke their relationship. I should have taken your Mom back to visit Stars Hollow and maybe things would have been better. Heck there were a lot of things that I should have done, but I didn't. I screwed up. It was my fault."

"I still don't understand why Grandpa didn't tell me." Ryan frowned.

"He probably doesn't understand either, Ryan." Jess sighed. "I think in a way he probably wanted to protect you from what happened in the past. Just, don't be mad at him, ok? He's just trying to look out for you."

"I am?" Luke asked as he entered the room with a pile of clothes in his hands. "You guys need to get out of those wet clothes. Jess, here are some sweats you can borrow."

"Thanks, Luke." Jess nodded and took the clothes from Luke. "Ryan, why don't you go jump in the shower to warm up?"

"Ok" Ryan nodded and grabbed some of his own sweats before bolting up the stairs.

"What did you say to him?" Luke questioned Jess.

"I just explained that he shouldn't be angry with you, he should be angry with me."

"hhmmm. Ok" Luke nodded and walked out of the room and into the kitchen.

"That's it?" Jess asked as he followed.

"Yeah, I don't really want to have that conversation right now. I'm going to start making dinner."

"Ok" Jess nodded.

XXXXX

Lorelai returned from work and hesitated before going into the house. She hoped that Ryan and Jess had a good day, but was nervous as she closed the door behind her.

"Hello?" Lorelai asked hesitantly as she entered the living room.

"Hey Grandma!" Ryan called from his spot on the couch.

"Hey" Lorelai smiled as she saw her Grandson curled up next to Jess reading a book together.

"Hi, Lorelai" Jess nodded. "How was work?"

"Good" She nodded uncomfortably. "Is Luke around somewhere?"

"He's working on dinner." Jess said before continuing to read to his son.

Lorelai couldn't help but smile at the Father and Son duo before going to find Luke in the kitchen.

"Hey, hot stuff" Lorelai teased as she greeted Luke.

"Hi" Luke said and quickly kissed Lorelai's cheek.

"Did everything go ok today?"

"Yeah, I think they both had a good time. Ryan seems to like Jess."

"Well, I guess that's good." Lorelai nodded. "It's weird seeing them together like that." She gestured toward the kitchen.

"Yeah, it's like they're related or something." Luke joked as Lorelai shook her head.

"Just one question though. Did something happen today?"

"What do you mean?" Luke frowned.

"They're both wearing sweats. Jess is wearing your sweats, to be exact." Lorelai pointed out.

"It was nothing." Luke insisted as he poured her a fresh cup of coffee. "Now get back in there and enjoy the Norman Rockwell moment going on."

"What?" Lorelai gasped. "You're just going to shove a cup of coffee and me and push me out of here?"

"Yup. Dinner with be ready in a couple minutes."

"Fine" Lorelai sighed and slowly walked back toward Jess and Ryan. "Hey Ryan?"

"Yeah?" He asked and looked up from the book Jess was reading.

"Did something happen today?" Lorelai questioned. "You guys are both wearing sweats."

"I fell in the lake." Ryan stated as Jess rolled his eyes.

XXXXX


	33. Chapter 33

"Tell me why we're doing this?" Luke asked Lorelai as he parked his truck in the Gilmore's drive way.

"I don't know." Lorelai shook her head. "My Mother requested we join her and my Dad for afternoon tea. She said there was something she wanted to talk to us about while Ryan was in school."

"I'm not much of an afternoon tea kind of guy." Luke grunted as he and Lorelai exited the truck.

"You like tea." Lorelai pointed out.

"Yes, but not fancy tea. It's all too delicate."

"Ah, you only like manly tea." Lorelai teased as they stopped in front of the door and she slowly reached out and rang the door bell.

"Lorelai, Luke." Emily smiled as she opened the front door. "Please, come in." She said and stepped aside so they could enter.

Lorelai gave Luke a suspicious look as they entered and followed Emily into the dining room.

"Luke, Lorelai" Richard smiled and stood up to shake Luke's had before they all took their seats.

"I'm surprised you're here, Dad." Lorelai said as a maid placed a cup of tea in front of her. "Oh, actually, could I get a cup of coffee?" Lorelai asked as Emily rolled her eyes. The maid looked at Emily for a minute as if asking permission before complying with Lorelai's request.

"Anna, I'd also like a cup of coffee." Richard said as Emily rolled her eyes again.

"Honestly" Emily huffed. "Would it kill both of you to drink a cup of tea?"

"Maybe" Lorelai smirked as the maid returned with two cups of coffee.

"Emily, you know I detest tea." Richard insisted.

"Fine. Drink your coffee." Emily huffed.

"Now, let's get down to business. Why did you call us together?" Richard questioned.

Emily shifted in her seat and drank a sip of her tea before introducing the topic of conversation. "I went to visit Rory a couple days ago." She paused as everyone frowned at her admission. "It seems that she is doing well and sticking with the program. She is going to be released in two weeks."

"Did you know about this?" Luke snapped at Lorelai.

"Sort of." Lorelai said quietly.

"Sort of?" Luke frowned. "Were you going to say anything?"

"I didn't know if it was a for sure thing. It's always been the date the program ended for her, but the center told me it depended on how she did."

"She's doing beautifully." Emily interjected with pride in her voice.

"So, that's it?" Richard questioned. "She just gets to come home now?"

"Well, there are still things she'll need to do to continue her recovery." Emily explained. "But the center thinks she's ready to rejoin society and learn how to be sober out in the real world."

"They really think she's ready?" Lorelai frowned. "Maybe she should stay a little longer."

"I agree." Richard added and leaned forward over the table. "We don't want to rush anything."

"But we also can't keep Rory locked up there." Luke noted. "She has a right to a normal life outside a treatment center. It's not like she's just going to be on her own. We'll help her."

"And the center recommended several support groups she can join." Emily added.

"I can't believe you're siding with my mother." Lorelai scoffed and rolled her eyes at Luke.

"I can't believe you don't want your daughter to come home." Luke spat. "What, would you rather just have someone else deal with her from now on? Is that it?"

"No" Lorelai pouted.

"Well, then what's the problem?" Luke pushed as Emily and Richard shifted uncomfortably in their seats. "I want Rory to come home. I want to help her. Why don't you?"

"It's not that I don't want to help her." Lorelai sighed. "I'm worried about what will happen if she fails. I can't deal with her going through this all over again."

"She's not even out of rehab yet and you're already setting her up for failure." Luke pointed out. "I don't want her to fail either, but we have to give her a chance. We can't just assume she'll start drinking again."

"Fine" Lorelai huffed. "But don't blame me if this doesn't work out."

"If you don't help, then I certainly will blame you." Luke said a bit too firmly.

"We're not doing this here." Lorelai shook her head and stood up from the table. "I'm not having this fight with you in front of my parents."

"Then let's go." Luke agreed and followed Lorelai to the front door. "We may not be having this fight here, but we're having it." He called after her before the front door slammed shut.

"My" Emily gasped. "That was harsh. Do they fight like that all the time?"

Richard shrugged and shook his head. "I don't think so, but Lorelai is becoming increasingly impossible when it comes to Rory."

"Yes" Emily agreed. "She'll have to deal with it sometime though. Like it or not, Rory is going to be allowed to leave the rehab center in two weeks."

"Do you think it would be a good idea for her to live here?" Richard wondered.

"Yes, that could be good." Emily agreed thoughtfully. "It would create a buffer between her and Lorelai until they get to know each other again. Plus, we could keep an eye on Rory; monitor her behavior."

XXXXX

Lorelai stormed out of her parents' house with Luke hot on her heels. She quickly got into the truck and slammed the door.

"What? Now you're silent?" Luke asked as he joined her in the cab of the truck.

"We're not doing this at my parents' house." Lorelai insisted. "Not out here in the driveway either. The neighbors will call the cops and my Mother will kill me."

"Fine." Luke agreed and started the truck. "We'll discuss this at home."

They drove in silence the entire way to Stars Hollow, both keeping their eyes on the road. When Luke parked the truck in the driveway, he quickly exited the truck and walked around to open the door for Lorelai. She took a deep breath before climbing out and following Luke into the house.

Once they were inside, Lorelai quickly moved to sit down on the couch. She leaned forward and rested her head on her elbows. She waited like that for a minute as Luke paced in front of her. Her heart began to race as she waited for Luke to berate her.

"I don't know what to say" Luke huffed before sinking down on the couch next to Lorelai. "We've fought about this over and over. Nothing seems to change the conversation we have, so I'm done."

"What?" Lorelai gasped as she misinterpreted Luke's words.

"I'm tired of arguing with you, Lorelai." Luke explained. "You know how I feel about Rory. I don't know how you can harbor such anger and hate toward her."

"I don't hate her." Lorelai clarified. "I'm just not ready to trust her again. She and I are different people now. I'm not sure we can ever go back to the way things used to be."

"You're giving up before you've had a chance to try."

"I don't think I'm strong enough to deal with her relapsing."

"Stop." Luke shook his head. "Stop insisting that Rory's going to relapse. You don't that know."

"It's a very real possibility."

"Yes, but you should focus on preventing that from happening, not waiting for the inevitable." Luke sighed. "You've done right by Ryan. You love him and take really good care of him. I think Rory will be really grateful for everything you've done. Maybe you two can start by focusing on Ryan."

"Ryan's going to want to spend time with Rory once she gets out." Lorelai stated and shook her head.

"Of course he will. He keeps asking when she's coming home." Luke nodded.

"I wish we could keep him away from her."

"Are you kidding me?" Luke scoffed. "Do you really want to keep your Daughter and Grandson apart? That's insane, Lorelai. You can't keep them apart. Maybe you could for a little while, but Ryan will be old enough to find ways to see her on his own. He'll just end up resenting you. Is that what you want, Lorelai? I don't see how keeping them apart is good for anyone."

"If Rory goes back to her old ways, it'll be good for Ryan."

Luke huffed and threw his hands in the air. "You really won't give that up, will you? Would you rather just not deal with any of this? I've tried to let you handle everything with Rory, but if you'd rather I can do it. Lorelai, I'm tired of arguing with you about this."

"Fine. So, let's not argue. Let's figure this out." Lorelai huffed. "What are we going to do when Rory gets out of rehab?"

"Well, she probably shouldn't live here in this house. It would be too much for her right away. Plus, it might be confusing for Ryan if it doesn't go smoothly. We could find her an apartment or let her stay above the diner."

"The diner apartment might be too much. Everyone in Stars Hollow will be badgering her with questions. We should find her a more private apartment. Maybe it would be better if she wasn't in Stars Hollow at all at first. We could probably find something in Woodburry or Litchfield." Lorelai suggested.

"Yeah, that's a good idea."

"Then we can help her find a job within walking distance."

"And a support group." Luke nodded before wrapping his arm around Lorelai's waist.

XXXXX

Ryan entered the diner and practically skipped up to the counter before taking off his backpack and tossing it on the stool next to him. He waited impatiently for Luke to come out from the kitchen, but soon hopped off his stool and walked behind the counter.

"Hey, what are you doing back here?" Luke frowned as he finally walked out of the kitchen. "Didn't I tell you just last week that you shouldn't be back here?"

"Yeah, but I got tired of waiting for you, so I wanted to come find you myself." Ryan explained and shrugged his shoulders.

"You're too much like your Grandmother." Luke shook his head and steered Ryan back to his seat.

"Who do you think taught me to go behind the counter?" Ryan smirked as he jumped onto the stool.

"Geez, next thing I know you'll be trying to get me to give you Coffee." Luke huffed before placing a mug in front of Ryan and pouring hot chocolate into it.

"Thanks Grandpa." Ryan smiled before carefully pulling the mug toward himself so he could blow on the hot chocolate.

"So, did you have a good day in school today?"

"Yeah, it was pretty good." Ryan nodded. "We got report cards."

"Can I see it?" Luke asked before Ryan rummaged through his backpack. He quickly located the report card and shoved it over to Luke.

Luke studied the report carefully and nodded in approval as he saw the progress Ryan had made. His grades were all 'B's or better with good positive remarks from the teacher. "This is great, buddy!" Luke smiled and ruffled Ryan's hair. "Good job. I'm really proud of you."

"Thanks" Ryan smiled. "Can I email my report to Jess?"

"Sure" Luke nodded, slightly surprised that Ryan wanted to share his success with Jess. "We'll probably have to get Grandma to help. I'm not really sure how that scanner thing works with the computer."

"I can do it." Ryan nodded.

"Ok, then when we get home with can send it to Jess."

"Good. Then can I call him to talk about it?" Ryan asked.

"Sure, you know you can call your Dad whenever you want." Luke reminded him.

"Yeah, but I don't want him to get sick of me."

"That's never going to happen." Luke assured his grandson. "Jess loves talking to you."

"Ok, if you're sure." Ryan said skeptically.

"I'm positive." Luke nodded firmly. "Hey, what do you want to do for dinner tonight? You get to pick."

"Chocolate chip pancakes?" Ryan smiled.

"You're Grandmother really has rubbed off on you." Luke shook his head, smiling at the boy.

XXXXX

"So, Rory, this is our last appointment together." The Therapist stated and looked through the pages of notes before her. "How do you feel?"

"Honestly, I have mixed feelings right now. On the one hand I'm finally beginning to feel normal again. But in a way that scares me." Rory admitted. "I haven't been normal in a long time and I'm not really sure how it's all going to work."

"What are your plans for the next couple weeks after you leave here?"

"I'm actually going to be moving in with my Grandparents. I think that will be the easiest thing for everyone. My Son is living with my Mom and Step-Father and they don't really have a whole lot of extra room for me. Plus, they think it will be best for my Son and I to rebuild our relationship slowly."

"Is that what you want?"

"I don't know. Not really." Rory answered. "I want to be close to my Son, but I'm afraid of hurting him again. I think it's probably a good idea that I take things slowly."

"Good." The therapist nodded. "What other plans do you have? Work?"

"Yeah, I guess I need to find some sort of job. I have so much debt that has to get paid off somehow. I guess I'll start looking for something as soon as I'm out of here."

"Good." The therapist nodded again while paging through her notes. "I think you mentioned a few weeks ago that you might want to go back to school?"

"Yeah, but I don't know how I could possibly afford it right away. Maybe after I get everything else sorted out. I want to get my life back on track, but I'm also afraid of slipping back into my old life."

"Can I say something honestly?"

"Sure" Rory shrugged.

"Rory, you need to make a change in your life. You're in your twenties. Grab a hold of your life and make the changes you want. This is your chance." The therapist said sincerely as Rory sat hunched over on the couch. "Do this for yourself. Make an investment in who you want to be."


End file.
